this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2025
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It's a lack of mental health care and education.
I don't have a formal ADHD diagnosis beyond a questionnaire given by a psychiatrist, and even that was a six month wait to start getting proper meds — a process that continues to be a fucking nightmare. Hospital visits give me near anxiety attacks because I don't know if I'm going to see a decent doctor or someone who reams me out because I don't have a "real" diagnoses.
I'm on waitlists for a formal diagnosis and specialized care, have been for years. During that time one of the ADHD institutions shut down over lack of funding. I could have skipped the line by going private and paying thousands, but I don't have that.
Also in some cases simple ableism:
I am highly certain that I have autism, for many reasons, up to and including the screener results when I got my gender-dysphoria diagnosis, but I have made an active decision against getting an official diagnosis, because it would not as of now bring me any advantages, but would for example rid me of the possibility to ever move to certain countries. So what would be the point?
The main struggles I have are in interactions with other people and that is getting a bit better these days and having a friend group that almost exclusively consists of neurodiverse folks who have learned to deal with some of my quirks and a girlfriend who has a diagnosis of both autism and ADHD helps a lot as well. Why would I then put effort in to get a confirmation for something where I kinda already know the result? It would be like taking an IQ-test (A comparison that my psych found quite fitting in fact).
Every doctor and psyche I spoke to told me an official diagnosis will make it easier to get my medication and care.
ADHD is a disorder, meaning it significantly reduces my quality of life to the point where I require therapy and medication to function. Since ADHD meds are super fun for non ADHD folk, without an official diagnosis I get accused of drug seeking by shitty doctors. I've gone months hitting brick walls trying to get meds I'd already been prescribed because of it. I could even get partial disability payments for periods of time I'm unable to work, or unable to find work that fit my needs.
I dropped out of university twice because of ADHD symptoms I didn't know were part of a disorder at the time, with a diagnosis I could get a modified program.
An official diagnosis for ADHD is not at all like getting an IQ test where I live.
For ADHD: YES! I' m literally currently in the process of getting it checked, because of this!
But I was talking about autism, where you do not get meds or anything useful, which really makes it a useless diagnosis that will do more harm than good in most places. (One ceveat: If I moved back to Germany, I could probably get tax benefits because it counts as a mild disability, but until I decide to do that and stay there, it’s not worth the risk.