this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2026
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I had it explained to me once by a really really good friend, so I'll try to pass it on as best I can. The way I had it explained to me was:
Imagine the thing you will leave behind that will last the longest.
Is it a photo?
No. Photographs fade and decay.
Is it a scientific discovery?
Probably not
Is it an achievement?
Not really unless you're up there like Neil Armstrong.
Is it the memory others have of you?
No because eventually they'll pass on too.
After a few generations, all reference and remembrance of you will have faded into the background but for one thing: your tomb stone. Not much of anything, but it'll stand the test of time better than anything else really. I mean the Egyptians built the pyramids, and they're the oldest thing we have. What are they made of? Stone.
Now, imagine that your tomb stone had the wrong gender marker and someone else's name. It's a pretty crappy thing isn't it? The only thing that will be left to proclaim that you, [so-and-so-and-so], were here as a male/female between these dates is wrong.
Now, imagine you could, if just for a moment, come back to fix it and set it right. Not much of anything, but it'll set right the mark that you [whatever your name is] were here as male/female/whatever.
That's basically a gender transition, but while you're alive.
Maybe they'll dead name you on your marker anyway. Maybe they'll have the wrong gender marker on that stone anyway too. It's not like you'll notice. But at least you'll have tried, and maybe that'll have to do. After all, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and transitioning while you're alive is the best shot you can take to get that tombstone set right. Also, maybe have a shot at a happier life along the way.
And, that's pretty much how it was explained to me. Kinda sad, but it really made it clear and understandable to me. Hope it helps you like it did me.
I appreciate your candor and perspective.
It's a lot to think about. ;)
Glad it helps.
Your friend needs to write books. Poetry, fanfiction, something.
I'll be sure to pass that along.