For those not familiar:
A frog was hopping along the shore of a river looking for a place to cross. He came upon a scorpion sitting on the shore. “Hello, friend frog,” said the scorpion. “It appears you are looking to cross the river. I too want to cross. Would you mind carrying me?”
The frog was taken aback. “Why, if I let you on my back to cross the river, you’d sting me and I would die. I don’t think I’ll do that.”
The scorpion immediately replied, “There is no logic to your concern. If I sting you and you die, I will surely die as well, since I can’t swim. I wouldn’t need a ride if I could swim.”
The frog thought a moment and then said, “Your logic makes sense. Why would you kill me if it would result in your death? Come along and climb on my back and we’ll cross this river.”
The scorpion climbed on the frog’s back and off they went to cross the river.
About halfway across the river, the scorpion raised its tail and stung the frog. The frog was both astounded and disconsolate. “Why did you sting me? Now I will die and you will surely drown and die also.”
The scorpion replied, “I can’t help it. It’s who I am. It’s in my nature.”
It'd be funny if what ended up killing the scorpion was repeated impact trauma of its body slapping against the water
Or the little boy throws the scorpion back into the water and says: "I'm a little boy and I don't like scorpions"
TLDR I'm a little boy! I wonder if scorpions can fly!
so, there's a kid who grew up in my town. i can talk about him now because multiple kids from my town have grown up to play ball for the MLB. this kid, when he was growing up he came out front one day about four years old. we were just hanging out not thinking and suddenly he just chucks his older brother's hamster as hard as can be across the street. kid grew up to pitch. at 4 he could throw better than i can now at [forty-mumble]. we gathered around him like "woah, what the fuck are you thinking dude" and he very innocently said "i wanted to see if it could fly". So like, there were a ton of kids on the block [we had enough for two whole teams and that's even if someone was staying in sick] and from that moment on, we all kept an eye on this 4 year old, from the 5-year-olds on up because we all knew how serious what just happened was. Only person to follow the hamster was his brother whose former pet had recently flown a few houses down the road and everyone else was focused on "is this 4-year-old showing early signs of being a serial killer or what the fuck why would he throw a hamster". Like, that kind of focus and attention from everyone, and specifically in his family it may have been the cause of his not getting involved in gangs and his older brothers doing so because of disproportionate parental attention anyways i'm getting real armchair psychologist now but aside from his oldest brother being like, wholehearted fascist they're all doing alright so i warned you with a tldrbut i gotta say it's real fun being in neighborhood games and demoralizing them when your pitcher is a 4-year-old and you're striking them out.
I feel like I just sat down next to you in a seedy bar. Thanks for sharing
it's been a year and i'm gonna be decompressing for a while. I think i'll be making liberal use of the spoiler tags if y'all want some fun probably traumatic memories.
The rare instance of irony being conflated with humor.