4chan

Exactly, though I would prefer to be spared the lecture if I / when I mess up. Despite trying my best and considering myself an ally, everybody makes mistakes sometimes.

I had a recent experience at a friend's party. A couple with their 2 kids were there, whom I'd never met before. As tends to happen in these sorts of situations (strangers in a safe, friendly environment), I was making small talk trying to get to know them.

At some point early on, I complimented the couple on "how polite their boys were".

That was a mistake.

The father went into a semi-hostile lecture for several minutes along the lines of "They are kids. We don't call them boys. They are too young to know what gender they are."

Keep in mind, the children were like 5 and 7 years old, both had names that are typically considered male names in my culture (ex: Kevin and John), and their overall presentation (hair, clothes, behavior) was indistinguishable from the other boys at the party.

And regardless of all that, it's hard to imagine any scenario where the topic and my tone could be misconstrued as an attempt to be insulting. I get that different families handle things differently, but I really don't think the gender-free parenting thing is common enough (in my part of the world) for people to be offended that a total stranger doesn't automatically assume it's a thing for them.