this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2023
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Gen Z Is Leaving Dating Apps Behind::undefined

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[–] Thatuserguy@lemmy.world 43 points 1 year ago (5 children)

This is where I'm at. Everyone has told me dating at work is a really bad idea. I don't drink so I have no interest in trying to pick up a girl at a bar. And in general I've seen so many girls say they don't like guys approaching them in public.

Like it feels like all that is left is these apps, but girls don't seem to want to meet on there either. It feels like I'm missing something critical here on how to meet a girl at my age and it's frustrating me to no end.

[–] SeaJ@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago

Basically join hobby groups. Not sure if meetup.com is much of a thing any more but they had tons of different types of meet ups.

Dance classes usually have lots of single women if your hobby is more male oriented. You do not have to be a good dancer for the beginner classes.

I get that it can be frustrating to be constantly told that women do not want to be approached in public. I actually just looked up where to meet women after reading your comment and one article stood out because it was a woman who was trying to get hit on at the gym. She admitted that she is only up for being approached when she is getting water or leaving. Her showering that she was open to flirt with a specific person was by giving a smile which is something women generally say is absolutely not an invitation to flirt. She also mentioned giving bedroom eyes which I imagine is difficult for a guy to interpret on a sweaty woman. This woman turns out to be a dating coach.

I was lucky that Tinder was just starting out when I got a late start in dating.

[–] daltotron@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

The only way I've ever had luck on those apps is just by trying to make my profile funny instead of really lame and repetitive. Like, make one that actually stands out, even if it's just a big picture of you in a fish costume holding yourself, or something. It can certainly help if you get a sense for what other dude's profiles look like and intentionally do what will stand out from them, or what will point out the absurdity of them. Then, just wait. That's it, don't surf the app really, that's a pretty guaranteed way to lose hope on everything. If you do scroll, do it sparingly, and sparingly give out swipes, don't swipe on someone cause they're hot, swipe on someone because they either seem like someone you wanna go out with or because they're sending you some other form of signal that actually matters. After you get a match or two, you're gonna wanna swipe through the pile until you can distinguish the person who swiped on you from the blurry preview they give you, and then you can go from there based on whether or not they seem like a good fit or not, generally I opt towards yes even if they haven't put much effort in.

I dunno about tinder, but sometimes you can even delete your bumble profile and the app keeps puppeting around your account, and then you can return later on, and swipe through the pile, until you can distinguish them based on their preview. I've met like 7-8 girls this way and my profile barely even shows my face and it's all stupid jokey bullshit. I think my ELO's probably tanked but I don't really care that much atp. If you're really desperate there are ways to flub the sign-up process and make a totally new account, so you can reset your ELO if you've tanked it by swiping right a million times and getting nothing back.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How old are you? It’s been years since I dated, but I had a decent amount of success on dating apps. It can take time to curate a good profile. Also, my understanding is that free options are nonexistent or flooded with fake OF profiles, so that might make it more difficult

[–] Thatuserguy@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm 27. I've been on and off on dating apps for a few years now. Very rarely get matches. Tried all the profile advice. Nothing works. Doesn't help you also have to filter through a sea of girls trying to pump their Instagram followers or OF subs and don't actually care about dating. It just feels like these apps have been nothing but a drain on my mental health with basically nothing to show for it.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Yeah, the Instagram and OF stuff wasn’t around when I was using dating apps. That sounds pretty difficult to get through. Seems like Match Group bought all the competition and ruined it from what I’ve heard.

[–] dreamer@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

No point in feeling frustrated. Many women aren't ready to date or have interest in men strongly. Keep going and someone may or may not show up just keep living.

[–] z3rOR0ne@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah dating a coworker is gross.