this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2026
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How the fuck am I suppose to make new friends when I can't consistently connect with people unless they are already my friend? This wasn't a problem back when games were mostly on dedicated servers where the same groups would hang out consistently, day after day, so you'd actually get to know people.
Yeah, you used to get to know the players and come back to certain servers because of the community around them. There was one TF2 server I played on for a while that had a guy who played exclusively melee Heavy with extremely throttled Internet, causing him to teleport around. You don't get guys like Magical Fisting Heavy anymore.
I played TF2 from release, to the month they implemented matchmaking. Technically they left the ability to host and join specific servers, but those emptied and never came back. I was now essentially only allowed to pay with strangers.
I joined again for the Halloween event, thinking my tradition of playing hours of Mann Manor could still be enjoyed at least. After all, it was a special event, and I knew others would join the 24/7 Manor servers like they had every year, just like me.
Nope. They were all empty. Everyone still only joined matchmaking. I miss my server-friends. Mostly it was just acquaintances, but sometimes I'd make a real long-term friend after we'd find eachother at an event IRL.
As is almost always the case, the algo that optimizes, doesn't optimize for what I want or need, it optimizes for what an unfeeling corp "needs". I want less downtime, sure, but not at the cost of meaning.
Just needed no sbmm, can't rematch against the same ppl anymore
For real. Everyone already has their friend group, their clique, whatever. They often say they are open and welcoming, and sometimes are for a while. They don't try to get to know the newcomer, regale then with stories of their already set in stone group, and make promises they have no intention of keeping. Newcomer leaves, and they don't even notice or care to reach out, and if they do, it's purely performative and there's no follow through because they already have their group.
You can still do that in many games.
It's just organized unofficially in Discord groups. And... yeah, Discord is mandatory :(