mkvtoolnix is the best tool for this stuff. iirc ffmpeg has some limitations in this area
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Okay, looks like you can do it in ffmpeg, but you have to map every audio stream individually in the command to rearrange them.
I believe you can remove (default) with -disposition:stream 0
so, if you have three subtitle tracks, all marked as default, and you want only second with that mark, you'd do something like this:
ffmpeg -i input.mkv -c copy -disposition:s:0 0 -disposition:s:2 0 output.mkv
And if you want to mark a stream as default, you do -disposition:stream default
.
Pretty decent chance ChatGPT can answer this for you.