Why does this keep getting misrepresented? The debate is not around pronouns. Nobody gives a rat's ass about words. The debate is around whether or not one seeing themselves outside of what is considered "gender normative" is a mental illness.
If it is a mental illness, then educators are obligated to notify parents of the symptoms they have observed. The faction who believe it is a mental illness see this as a violation of that trust when educators declare they will not notify parents.
If it is a normal expression of being human, then educators are right to respect the wishes of the student. The faction who believe it is normal expression see attempts to require educators to notify parents as a violation of the same trust.
It seems someone is worried that they will 'lose the debate' if they address the real issue in contention.