Asklemmy

You've set the bar way too low. You can't buy peanut butter toast in grocery stores, either.

I would have said the same thing about PB&Js, too, except society is so depraved now that that's no longer true.

Food that is actually spicy. I know it is available at some locations on earth, but I do not live within 500 miles of any of them. The only place near me that even offers a legit hot sauce is a food truck and that one is still a bit tame.

I’ve never seen sourdough French toast at a restaurant and it is literally the best bread to use. The texture holds up well to the egg dunk and the funky sourness complements the otherwise cloyingly sweet dish. Even better, instead of syrup I use salted irish butter, making it a savory dish with a hint of sweet cinnamon.

Marmite Crumpets don't exist

Yet you brought them into existence. May god have mercy on your soul.

To quote a fictional character, Raphael says to Casey Jones from the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie;

cricket?! Youve gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!

Edit: fixed who said the line. Cant believe i got it wrong!

Maple Walnut ice cream seems to be impossible to find in stores outside of New England

Properly cooked hash browns. It takes too long for a restaurant to do it.

Speculoos and jelly sandwiches. It's possible they serve that in Europe somewhere, but you could never find that served in the US.

I'd like to be proven wrong though.

The Cannibal Sandwich, which doesn't actually use human flesh, but is also not a sandwich. Anyway, you take a slice of rye cocktail bread, spread on some raw, ground beef, then top it with some sliced onion, salt, and pepper. You can't get it ready-made, because nobody likes e. coli or salmonella poisoning. In fact, you have to make special arrangements to get the beef ground by a butcher in a clean grinder, and pretty much eat it the same day.

Marmite on Weetbix.

Ingredients:

• 1 Weetbix
• butter (lots)
• Marmite (lots)

Method:
Select a choice looking compressed wheat brick, apply a thick layer of butter, spread the Marmite across the layer of butter.

This was a common school snack when I was growing up.