bro is doing the 3 day no fart challenge π
this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
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why would you want to give up one of life's little joys?
The smell after, right? Right, guys?
It's the flapping of buttcheeks during the fart, my fellow farter.
delet this
I can guarantee that if you drank pure petroleum and ate quicklime then you would spend the rest of your life without worrying about farts.
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Stop eating anything with high fructose corn syrup. I promise it works.
I hardly ever fart, the rest of my family are a veritable natural gas factory. I do not eat sugar, or dairy and an vegetarian. Lots of black beans, not magical fruit for me. I never eat processed foods, and hardly ever eat bread or other gluten... I do have pasta once a week or so
Wow.You and I would not get along.
Just because of different foods? Youβre a precious one.
Probably because he exudes gases through his pores or something as nothing he said has bearing on farting frequency.
Itβs not possible to never fart but you can do things to reduce gas in your intestines. Here is an article about it. Sounds pretty miserable to me.
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-farting#elimination-diet
If you hold on for a few minutes, it will be absorbed by the colon and go into your bloodstream. Then it will be released into the atmosphere through your skin. Soundlessly and smellessly.
Only a certain amount, you can't hold everything in.
Trust me, I tried.
That can't be healthy
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Uhoh. Itβs another no poo post
Anything animal based like beef and pork. Also your poop will be dark brown and small. Win win
In case you really want to do this, research on how to get into carnivore first. You probably will get the shits first if you get in head on first. But after that, itβs almost no gas and no poop
Once you have solved this filthy little secret problem that you've been hiding from your loved ones, you can turn your attention to those big greasy turds that you have been producing every day. You flush them away but we know, we can smell the odour of shit and air freshener. We know when the captain starts walking with short strides he's clearing the poop deck, ready to drop anchor.