We did this in elementary, like 1st or 2nd grade. I was the bully, not really proud of it, but ama.
But genderbent, I'm male.
this post was submitted on 17 Mar 2025
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What upset you so much about it?
Well, disclamer it's all hazy, but iirc the fact that he killed the conversation.
So at the back of the class we were talking, like 3-4 of us at least, and one guy would constantly rock up and add nothing to the conversation. There were times where he asked me aside (like to talk in private) but had no topic (just looked at me all gay-like, what?), so I just told him to piss off and went back to the group. After a while we didn't even want to hear him out, the moment he speaks our train-of-tought dies. Later it became akin to bullying.
There were more to this than that but there always is. If I have to give advice a "what are y'all talking about" so you can join in, instead of a "wow nice shirt" or some conversation starter when we are already talking about something and that something is completely irrelevant of shirts.
But ye, imagine the scenario where you are talking about how nice it was that no annoying guy were at the party yesterday, and said annoying guy joined in going "nice weather, so what were you doing yesterday?". An extreme example, but it's a bad idea to go to a group with an ice breaker when there is no ice to break. My two cents is that asking about the topic is nice caz if they don't want you to know or to talk to you they'll just go "not much" or something similar and you can instantly read that you are unwanted and leave instead of adding more fuel to the fire.
That makes a lot of sense, she was contributing to the conversation when she could
How old are these people? These sound like kids?
I feel like a chunk of the population of Lemmy is people who got banned from Reddit.
And a portion of that chunk got banned for being too young according to Reddit's T&C, lol
Based on previous post, OP is 24.
Fuck it, this is Lemmy, let me cite the sources.
My sister Lena (14F) sent me (24F) these [...]
Correct
Definitely schoolyard behavior. Doesn't make it an invalid concern or unworthy of advice, but a lot of adults are probably going to have a hard time relating to this situation. Most will look at this and have a reaction of "no, this situation is not ok", or maybe "what's the big deal?" if they lack empathy. Because this wouldn't be ok with emotionally healthy and functional adults. But it also wouldn't happen with adults (which is how, OP, you gave yourself away). Kids are much more casually cruel to each other than adults because their empathy is still developing and their perspectives acquired via life experience are still limited.
Girl, I can't keep track of who the "theys" and "girls" are enough to even have any idea what you're talking about
Edited
yes it is, you aren’t being too sensitive. also, pretending to be different people to attack one person is harassment. i don’t care about her mental health or her „bad day”, people should stop making excuses for this asshole.
„well wouldn’t you do the same?” NO. I WOULDN’T. I WOULDN’T HARASS A POOR PERSON FOR THEIR DISABILITY BECAUSE I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY.
i still am mad at the girl who was homophobic towards me and made fun of my nose, and wouldn’t excuse her behavior because „she was feeling upset”.
I don't see how that should upset anyone. It's meant to be a polite generic question. Even if you've had a bad day, you don't have to divulge any information, just simply say 'alright', and they most likely won't ask you any more.
Where I'm from, "How are you doing?" really is meant to be a polite way of engaging with a stranger at a cash register or other public customer facing job.
It's not like they said anything offensive, they're just trying to engage a little polite conversation. Which you are most certainly not obligated to engage in if you don't want.
For me, I'll usually answer with whatever generic crap is going on that day, like "Man it's cold outside yo, can you turn the heat up out there?"
Edit: Oh, I read more after your edit, yeah that seems a bit awkward and suspicious, different situation than I posted. But I'm leaving my comment as is regardless.
how so suspicious?
btw: lena wasn’t even following her, she walked up to her, then left. this other girl frequently harasses her. (not op, but still)
and yeah, she seems to be trying to be polite because they were friends
After reading over yet again, maybe 'suspicious' wasn't the best word. Still sounds awkward, but nothing I'd think people should get too upset about.
Every situation is different though, and there's crazies out there that will just as soon shoot a person for knocking on the wrong door.
Sigh, I'm getting more and more disappointed with humanity by the day...
Doesn’t seem awkward to me, most people say “How are you?” when they see me, except for the trying to start a convo thing.
I have photos of the conversation between them in other posts, Ash is literally insane.