this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] adespoton@lemmy.ca 9 points 23 hours ago

Knowing stuff can be a curse, especially when you’re 10 steps ahead of everyone else in the room and you know they’re just going to need the time to figure it out on their own.

But being smart means you know how and when to apply your knowledge. So you can provide the information when it’s actually useful and not when it just gets blank stares.

And knowing stuff but NOT talking about it all the time, and not using “told you so” means that when you DO speak, anyone who matters will listen and take you seriously.

I find that slipping useful knowledge into self-deprecating jokes is a useful way to get people to listen to it.

[–] pleasestopasking@reddthat.com 22 points 1 day ago

No...?

I mean I'm not a genius or anything but I know some things about some things. When I can help someone with those things or just shoot the shit about cool things I know, it makes me feel good.

[–] Geometrinen_Gepardi@sopuli.xyz 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There's nothing wrong with knowing about things. If I'm deciphering your question correctly, you need to learn to keep your mouth shut. People won't pester you then.

[–] TokenEffort@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Even if I don't say anything, I still feel bad for knowing, and extra bad for not helping the person out, but I'd feel worse if I did.

[–] Guidy@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Then you should talk to a professional until you feel differently. This is not normal. Being smart is good. Being curious is good. Being a lifelong learner is ideal. Whoever or whatever taught or showed you otherwise is wrong.

[–] Sergio@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 day ago

There are a couple abilities involved:

  • knowing something
  • modeling a learner: understanding someone else's current level of knowledge and the nature of their lack of knowledge such as misconceptions.
  • instruction skill: having the ability to remedy the learner's misconceptions and build upon their existing knowledge to transmit the knowledge/skill

The last two are nontrivial. You ever told someone the answer to something and they just didn't get it? Even though it was stunningly obvious to you? The last two are why.

Anyway, to your point: a lot of times the best action is just to point someone in the right direction.

[–] folekaule@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Try to come across friendly without sounding condescending.

First, empathize (I know those things can be tricky, it took me a minute the first time), then offer to help without judgement (I have some experience with these, would you like me to try?), then back off if they say no.

If they refuse help, you've done what you can, end of story. Don't be pushy.

Key point here is to be nice about it. Don't call them out or make them feel dumb. Don't judge. You don't know why they're not getting it, and next time maybe it is you who is "dumb".

Also, don't expect everyone to share your intellect (it's obvious to you) or curiosity (you want to know how it works). Most people just want their problem fixed and move on.

I'm guessing you're young? Just wait, it gets easier with time.

[–] etchinghillside@reddthat.com 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Just assume you’re not smart.

[–] rasbora@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

There are always more things that you don't know than there are things that you do know.

[–] Sergio@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 day ago

ikr sounds like that thing where Socrates' wisdom was realizing that he was not wise.

Socrates then sought to solve the divine paradox—how an ignorant man also could be the wisest of all men—in effort to illuminate the meaning of the Oracles' categorical statement that he is the wisest man in the land. After systematically interrogating the politicians, the poets, and the craftsmen, Socrates determined that the politicians were not wise like he was. He says of himself, in reference to a politician: "I am wiser than this man; it is likely that neither of us knows anything worthwhile, but he thinks he knows something when he does not."(21d).[15] Socrates says that the poets did not understand their poetry; that the prophets and seers did not understand what they said; and that the craftsmen while knowing many things, thought they also had much knowledge on things of which they had none.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apology_(Plato)#Part_one:_The_defence_of_Socrates

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

I like knowing stuff because I have social anxiety and being able to engage in small talk with people about a wide range of topics is extremely helpful for me.

[–] swordgeek@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago

Nope.

For context, I'm in my late 50s and always want to know the right answer, and share it with everyone.

Buy sometimes, you need to let it go. You might be in a situation where someone is confidently stating something you know to be wrong. Correcting them can - depending on context - come across as insulting and know-it-all; and if it's not important, maybe stay silent this time.

Now if you're in a situation where the truth IS important, or where everyone is more interested in the truth (or even debate) than something cool but false, your knowledge will be appreciated.

You don't have to always have the last word, even if it's right.

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

I am a networking specialist on a team of sysadmins at an MSP. I don't like being the "smart" one when it comes to networking because it means I have no one I can bounce ideas off.

[–] AdamBomb@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 1 day ago

What? No. No, dawg, no. Ignorance isn’t a virtue. Knowledge and expertise are something to be proud of.

[–] xePBMg9@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 19 hours ago

Try to keep expectations low and you'll live longer.

[–] rabber@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago

No I get off on making people feel dumb

[–] brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 23 hours ago

The curse of competence.

Being smart means I keep getting handed more work.

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 2 points 23 hours ago

People do not want to know what is right. They want to think they are right. Those two things are hardly ever the same thing.

[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

I don't find it annoying and I certainly don't know a lot.

I know a lot about my narrow field of expertise and hobbies. I'm ignorant about so much useful knowledge and skills.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I hate that I happen to have the reputation of a tech nerd, only to get basically 2 different sorts of requests, both of which I rightfully refuse to touch...

  • Can you unlock this ~~stolen~~ phone?
  • Can you fix my 72 inch TV? The kids broke the screen.
[–] adespoton@lemmy.ca 3 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

You missed “make my computer work” and “get me movies for free”.

[–] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 2 points 22 hours ago

For 'get me movies for free', I point them to https://fmhy.net/

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 1 points 23 hours ago

Also don't forget...

  • Can you fix my phone screen?

  • Sure, a new screen will cost $X, plus my labor cost $Y.

  • Wait, it costs money? Well nevermind, I'll just get a new one.

[–] Flamekebab@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago

I don't hate it but it does occasionally feel like a burden. As in knowing that I could solve a problem that people are struggling with and whether it's ethical to not help because I don't feel like it.

Hating "knowing stuff" seems bizarre to me though. There's so many interesting things in our world - wanting to know less sounds awful. Like opting into a lobotomy.

[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 3 points 1 day ago

Yes! It’s such a burden knowing how things work and what will happen. People looking at you like “who’s this nerd with the answers?”

[–] masterspace@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Sort of, when you hang out with people who are less informed, it's going to get awkward if you're constantly just explaining stuff. Eventually everyone will pick up on the vibe that you know way more than everyone else.

But I don't hate it. That stuff can be overcome by working on your self and social ability, often the wittiest people can slyly point out the folly of something someone said with a quick wry joke, and more importantly you can learn to just let stuff go and not always explain everything or make sure everyone is exactly right about everything, and instead focus on being a conversationalist that will just keep things flowing in a fun way.

Plus, then when you do hang out with other people who are well informed, you can have interesting deep conversations. And the world is a lot less scary and hard to navigate if you understand how it all works.

[–] Krudler@lemmy.world -2 points 1 day ago

In a way yes. There are times when I am so sick of dealing with people who cannot organize their thoughts - it becomes just exhausting.

So consistently being the most analytical, on-the-ball, ahead of the curve, able to predict the future, able to see-through people within seconds of meeting them, being generally good at most things, adept automatically the first time I try anything... It's a burden.

But at the same time I'm not so dumb to think I don't choose this burden.