I have a strong tech background, but have tried to keep things mainstream and easy to use for the family and houseguests. I won’t lie - home automation is still immature, and is intrinsically a heterogeneous ecosystem where an update in one area borks the rest of your previously working systems.
I have a lot of Zwave devices, quite a few Hue bulbs, extensive Alexa integration. For a hub, it’s been Wink->SmartThings->TBD.
Hue and Alexa have been generally good; Zwave was a mistake. I liked the lower frequency, lack of overlap with WiFi/Bluetooth/microwave ovens, mesh network, and keeping devices off WiFi. All the theoretical benefits haven’t made it reliable.
Things work well for stretches of time, but something inevitably breaks. It seems to happen most when I’m traveling because, well, Murphy.