53
If you found someone attractive, would you date them if you found out they were trans?
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
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If there's an expectation of sex we'd have to figure out if we're compatible that way.
This is such a mature response, it remains open to possibility while being realistic about the existence of certain boundaries or needs.
To be honest figuring out if you are sexually compatabile is an important aspect of any relationship, and trans people even more than others might need accommodation and have a need to figure out compatibility.
How do you think you would you figure out compatibility?
Yes and why not?
Yes. Penis or vagina matters little to me.
interesting but not surprising to see the focus on gentials - after all the biggest problem (and for some, the biggest perk) has to do with the genital mismatch
It's hard because not all trans people fit a single "type" - some of us get support as children and avoid going through the wrong puberty and live pretty much as cis people (though that doesn't guarantee access to SRS).
I can't remember exactly so take this with a grain of salt, but over half of trans people want SRS but only around 12% actually have had SRS. So statistically it's probably true a given trans person is pre-op.
Anyway, for me dating a trans person comes with a lot more than just gential configuration, it involves their daily experiences of dysphoria, discrimination, the sensitivities about how they want to be touched or not touched, how their voice sounds, their mix of socialized gendered traits, etc.
Absolutely, thereβs a lot more to it than just the genitals, but to be fair, everyone has a large number of differences from the mean- Iβve met bio women with very deep voices, with unflattering figures, whoβve experienced misogyny, etc.
Apart from the genitals, everything a trans person had that might differentiate them from a cis person can still be present in a cis person.
I tend to agree, many facets of trans experience are found in cis people. It is not acknowledged how much gender diversity exists in cis populations. Many victims of trans moral panic are cis, often cis women of color are the ones targeted in bathrooms for being mistaken as trans.
I guess with trans people there are some aspects like transition experience that won't exist in cis populations- but I love your point, thank you for that. π
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(1 replies)
Sadly no. I want kids of my own someday.
that is a struggle, and with a trans woman it is possible they have frozen sperm and fertility treatments are possible, but having both your sperm and your wife's sperm gets problematic, I don't know if they have a method of accomplishing this.
And you would still need someone to have the baby for you. It's tragic, tbh - I would love to see a succcessful uterus transplant in my lifetime π
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(4 replies)
If I found out someone was cis whom I'd otherwise consider dating, it would probably be difficult to maintain interest.
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(5 replies)
Sure.
I find like 99% of people unattractive, though, cis and trans alike.
Yeah. Half the people Iβve dated are trans.
Likely not. I'm a cis straight man who tends to be into women who aren't into men, so while particularly feminine women arenβt my thing, the parts matter to me in terms of dating/having sex. Fully post-op and passing would certainly consider, but I know that's not always the goal for trans folks.
Been there, done that. It was great, but didn't last for other reasons. I'm now cis married with kids and don't regret a thing.
Yes.
As long as they have the matching equipment then I'm totally fine with it.
I've always wanted to try out dating an mtf girl
Ew. We're not something for you to "try out".
The entire concept of dating is trying someone out
If I'm having sex with someone, and I'm very allo so that's my assumption going into dating, genital configuration is important to me. I like cock on masc-presenting folks, so chances are cis men are exclusively where I'll be wanting to date. If I were a little more bi/pan/ace, my answer would likely be different.
I guess the question that pops into my mind is how about a very masculine trans man who is either post-op, or uses a strap-on, would that be an option?
(My go-to example of a masculine trans man has been Buck Angel, but I really need a new example since that guy has always been an asshole and is currently becoming an anti-trans activist. It's hard when he was a trans icon back in the day, now he's an anti-trans icon π« )
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(2 replies)
As long as it's post op, sure. Only reasonable issue I can think of is no kids, but I don't want kids anyway so there is basically just no issues.