this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Doc_Crankenstein@slrpnk.net 55 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] InputZero@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah okay you tell Mike Tyson he made that mistake. I'll see you on the other side, cause that man can still punch your brain right out of your head.

[–] Doc_Crankenstein@slrpnk.net 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Lighten up, Mr.Hardass. It's called a joke, not a dick, don't take it so hard.

[–] Eyekaytee@aussie.zone 19 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

who remembers what happened back in 1th grade?

[–] DrBob@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 days ago

OP is only in 3rd grade now. The trauma is so fresh and real.

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Okay I know this is c/greentext and its not a serious comm, still just wanna infodump lol:

So... in 1st grade I was in China...

I remember them doing National Anthem... very similar to the US lol (as in the ritual, not the melody lol)

They use rulers to hit kids lol... 😭

I lucked out because my family emigrated...

Forgot if I ever got hit by a teacher... if I did, I must've deleted that memory since it sounds kinda traumatizing...

And they made us RECITE AN ENTIRE STORY! (Children's story, but still) They made us stay afterschool for that 😭

I STILL REMEMBER the 9x9 times table "poem" thingy from first grade, it's forever burned into my head (okay this might be 2nd grade tbf, forgot when I learned it exactly)

Article I found: https://yoyochinese.com/blog/Learn-Chinese-Multiplication-Rhyme-Time-Tables)

Oh yes I can sing the Chinese national anthem¹ + the American one too...

they played it too much the melody is forever stored in my hippocampus

(¹Okay I might have looked up the exact lyrics later on as a teen...)

And if I sing both, I get both sides to hate me... xD

I feel like that kindergarden, 1st, 2nd grade... just those few years of school there makes me very distinct from ABCs (American-Born Chinese).

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I love deathbybigsad's childhood china stories. It's like finding gems on Lemmy

Also I had a distant relative in the past who was killed by their teacher using a metal rule. Probably wasn't deliberate.

[–] Chakravanti@monero.town 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Was it a meth probability class?

Oh...oops...uh...typo?

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Ah yes, their teacher Walter White.

Why a mathematics probability class? "What's the probability of you dying if I strike you with this"

[–] Chakravanti@monero.town 1 points 3 weeks ago

Well that depends on...or...well...I guess we already thatsaid.

[–] Marthirial@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 weeks ago

Sorry I have lol-syndome

lol

xD

lmao

omfg

rofl

(sorry lol 😅)

[–] remon@ani.social 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Eyekaytee@aussie.zone 8 points 3 weeks ago

what are you thinking remembering back that far? you'll run out of memory

[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

My teacher was a bald guy who played the guitar.

[–] Fleppensteijn@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

I remember a lot from 1st grade. I barely remember anything from the rest of elementary school though

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

i remember the 3-4 times i got in trouble and had to go to the principal's office. that's about it

almost everytime it was for me giving a presentation that upset the teacher/class because it was too adult or something.

[–] binarytobis@lemmy.world 0 points 3 weeks ago

I remember cutting my hair with crayola scissors to get it out of my eyes, and some nondescript amorphous blob of a teacher freaking out about it.

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Maybe Anon meant 11st grade?

[–] lagoon8622@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 weeks ago

You think OP can count that high? That's a pretty big number

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Leonixster@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 weeks ago

You're supposed to read it as "a fuh" smh

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 7 points 3 weeks ago

Savage.

Also correct.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

So anon's name was Banana?

Too bad it wasn't Banana-Cherries, that picture have been straight to jail.

[–] GeneralEmergency@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

4chan's smartest user