this post was submitted on 14 May 2026
485 points (98.2% liked)

Greentext

8230 readers
319 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ive never met a Dutch person or been to the Netherlands nor do I consume any Dutch media. But this seems like something they would do. It seems the Dutch are extremely fair.

Like the Dutch man might be worried that if he doesnt charge his coworker something then his coworker will worry about paying him back in some way. So he gives him an easy out and bills him 50c.

The coworker actually scammed the Dutch guy because he didnt bill him for the car ride and now the Dutch man owes him something.

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sounds backwards considering it could have just been coffee for ride if there NEEDS to be a transaction. Not everything needs to be an even trade

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 4 points 1 day ago

Transactionalism is more proof that humanity has reached the point past where it is actually desirable.

What kind of civilization could such people build? Where they can't do anything for another person, without giving them some ticket ti charge them?

I have done things for people knowing full well it is a gift, and that I have no right to ask for anything back.

This species disgusts me with it's illusionary, fake righteousness.

[–] Pat@feddit.nu 20 points 1 day ago

Send one back. Check what a taxi would cost, plus a 10% convenience fee.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 220 points 2 days ago (1 children)

send the tikkie back for the gas.

[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 80 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Hmm, you spoke to me on the ride? Here's my consulting fee for the length of it.

[–] EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 2 days ago

Sure, here's 50 cents for the coffee.

Now here's the bill for the ride, the seat cleaning where you sat, the new air freshener since that's obviously been used now, my consulting fee, conversation fee, silence fee, and an additional 47.30 for various small consumables like oil, coolant, washer fluid...

Adds up to 1.846,97EUR for the day. You can send that whenever.

Oh right, almost forgot the €200 calculation fee.

Also it's a 30% interest rate per day for late fees

[–] dellish@lemmy.world 57 points 2 days ago (2 children)

If it is true, which I doubt, I think the fact OP is Belgian should account for it being a joke. Belgians are the butt of the joke in that region the same way 'Irish logic' is a joke in the UK.

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (6 children)

It's the other way around. The Dutch are the joke in Belgium because of them always being cheap.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago (4 children)

‘ Irish logic’ is a joke in the UK.

I'm Irish and never heard of that

[–] crapwittyname@feddit.uk 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

'Irish logic' is where things are backwards, in a specific way. It's kind of a single mindedness. Usually it's a misunderstanding-based joke, not exactly stupidity, but a silly perspective. E.g. it takes more Irishmen to change a light bulb because one holds it and the others swing the ceiling round.
I'm first generation Irish immigrant, and my family loves these kinds of jokes, we don't see it as hateful. But I wouldn't tell them around any old Irish person.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

you must have been too drunk /s

[–] Kushan@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Same, I am used to being the punch line in various jokes but I've never heard it referred to as "Irish Logic".

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ShotDonkey@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

If it's true it's an exemption. Maybe some stupid stereotype. Definitely NOT typical for the Dutch. (I am non Dutch and live in the Netherlands).

[–] HAL_9_TRILLION@lemmy.dbzer0.com 82 points 2 days ago (2 children)

OK so I understand the Dutch have a reputation, but if you are making your ride wait on you because you aren't ready at the appointed time - nevermind the fact that your ride isn't charging you for gas (one hopes, since OP is going anyway and offered to pick him up, to do so would be just as rude as the coffee) - it would just be too unbelievably outrageous to bill them half a Euro. I have to conclude that this is ragebait.

[–] Blubber28@lemmy.world 47 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It is funny though (especially for me as a Dutchman)

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 35 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You made me laugh, that cost me a couple of calories. I'm sending you a tikkie for 5 cents.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 2 points 1 day ago

Hes probably sitting there waiting for it to come through

[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Bill him an equal amount for the ride.

I simply presumed the whole thing exchange was a joke.

[–] Frostbeard@lemmy.world 40 points 2 days ago

Guessing this is a Belgium (Flemish) vs. Netherland joke.

Like Norway jokes about Swedes, and every other random neighboring countries you care to mention

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 95 points 2 days ago (14 children)

I'd pay the 0.50 euro as soon a possible without a word.

Then never offer to drive to do anything with them again.

I've found that people who do this are either doing it as a joke and will let you know right away .... or they are dead serious and it's the kind of person you really want to avoid in every kind of way.

[–] iocase@lemmy.zip 51 points 2 days ago

I would have paid it and then charged him $1.50/km for the ride

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

Eh. Yeah, but at least you know where you stand with them, and everything will be strictly business. If there's some business-like value to keeping the relationship, then just treat it like a business relationship, and see how it goes. I wouldn't bail on someone like this for that alone, but I wouldn't hang out with them as friends either.

load more comments (12 replies)
[–] sepiroth154@feddit.nl 63 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

For all who don't know, Tikkie is/was the Dutch equivalent of Venmo/PayPal.

Also this is one of the few rare real green texts. The correct reply in this case is just to send them an overinflated tikkie back. For example 5 euro for the ride since hey, your car depreciates during the ride! Seriously... 50 cents for a cup of coffee, even in this economy.

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago

I'm sending a tikkie for 30 euros for making me look at your wife, it wasn't pleasant.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 100 points 2 days ago (1 children)

https://dutchreview.com/expat/tikkie-netherlands/

Tikkie is an online payment app that allows you to forward payment requests to people via WhatsApp or pay through a QR code.

I hope that, if this isn't fake and gay, it was just for the lulz.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 51 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Either that or dude expected to receive one himself for the gas.

[–] ThisIsNotHim@sopuli.xyz 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It may have even been a prompt to send one for the gas. That seems a bit indirect for Dutch, but Dutch directness sometimes seems to take surprising forms.

[–] zout@fedia.io 41 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Am Dutch, I would offer to pay for gas while in the car. I would also not ask money for a coffee, even more when it was offered because I would have been late. Which wouldn't have happened.

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 17 points 2 days ago

This comment is peak Dutch

[–] phanto@lemmy.ca 38 points 2 days ago

Dutch relatives. He was serious. My grandpa used to damage soup cans in the grocery store, then demand a discount on them.

[–] qevlarr@lemmy.world 32 points 2 days ago

Am Dutch, this is too relatable. Fucking hilarious

load more comments
view more: next ›