Have you guys tried magit, yet? ๐
I forgot about "porcelain," been so many years I don't even remember what it refers to. I do remember that it always reminded me that git is a toilet for all the shit code I had to deal with, so maybe that's why people stopped talking about it?
Also i feel like "merge conflict" could have been the center square, I just love walking newbies through that. "What did you do to generate this many?" "I was just cherry-picking all my commits and then tried to rebase master onto them?"