I'm foreign, so I googled Puerto Ricans and man do those guys have a rich history and culture. Man they have so much to offer the world, and queer folks too, they all have so many things to tell if you just ask, so many out-of-the-box things I bet you've never thought about. You clearly don't want to ask though, so okay.
8deus8
joined 1 year ago
This weird feeling when another group is around and shining is an underlying cause of xenophobia. It's natural for some people to strive to belong to a group, and it's natural to be cautious of a group you don't belong to because the animal part of your brain can take the group as a threat, and rightfully so in some cases.
In other cases, when there's nothing threatening about a group, that animal part should be kept at bay by conscious effort, by understanding both the group and its pain and the origin of your feelings. Many people don't know how to do this, and this is the biggest problem. Especially when instead of teaching how to build bridges, instead of learning new things about the other, people just go into defense mode. I'm so devastated to observe this everywhere now.
That said, LGBTQ people still have to fight for their rights, because lots of people still get murdered even in the US and that's unacceptable. 'Shoving it in your face'? I personally would love to stop it once people finally get accustomed to the idea being different doesn't mean being a threat and we stop being bullied and harassed and murdered every frickin day.
People have already offered you some good advice and I just want to send hugs and love from a fellow Mordorian.
I think before you start something, you may want to balance your mental state first. Not improving but balancing it would be a good start. I know that would be hard without proper medication and care, but still.
What worked for me was having several days or even weeks off Internet, social media, and being as far away from other people as possible. To avoid drama (you might know what I'm talking about), I would invent some reason to stay alone that wouldn't raise suspicions in them like having to study or help a friend with some project. Then I would try to focus entirely on my body not thoughts, maybe take a walk or listen to fav bands in a way when you let music replace your thoughts so that it becomes your thoughts.
Actually, this resembles all that meditation shit, and sometimes it helps. Your goal is a detached attitude that you can use to make plans without having to consider any unnecessary feelings.
Once again, you're not alone, I love you, and more people around are open to love than you think.