NFLPowerRankers

Welcome to week 12 of the official r/NFL Power Rankings! What an exciting week of games. Without Canada, the Steelers stock is rocketing. The Packers played their best game against their best opponent, the Eagles Eagled and the Bills Billed. What impact will The Cowboys winning like Kramer at the dojo have? How many spots will the Vikings fall after Dobbs continues to learn the playbook? Is it time to admit the broncos could be good? Discuss! 30/32 Reporting

1. | | Eagles | -- | 10-1 | Are the Eagles beneficiaries of luck? Probably. But for the third game in a row, they’ve done enough to for luck to matter. Part of that is a wild split between their first and second half performances. The 2023 Eagles have a tendency to start games slow, but by EPA/play, they are the best 2nd half team in the NFL by quite the margin. The resilience of the team to fight back in consecutive games against top QBs is part of their DNA, led by the unflappable Jalen Hurts. Next up, an NFC Championship rematch with the 49ers.
2. | | Ravens | -- | 9-3 | 9-3 sitting pretty atop the AFC. Sunday night's showdown was a tale of two Ravens teams; a dominant defense refusing to lose and a sputtering offense suffering an identity crisis. I believe most tuned in Ravens fans had an uneasy feeling heading out west and it was all but coming to fruition. Failed 4th downs, missed challenges, and a nigh impossible sub 50 yard miss from Tucker had the Ravens leading by the slimmest of margins with 2:30 left to go in the 4th despite being +4 in the turnover battle. It all compiled to a dreadful "here we go again" sinking feeling but luckily for us no one outchargers the Chargers. An absolutely sick and brilliant 4th down play design by Mike Macdonald sealed the deal. Looking ahead the Ravens get a week off to heal up some key contributors(Ronnie Stanley, Marlon Humphrey) before an absolute gauntlet of a schedule to close out the season(Rams, Jags, 9ers, Dolphins, Steelers). No time to rest for the coaching staff though as Todd Monken and crew have a long week ahead of self-scouting and working out the kinks if this team is ever going to reach their Super Bowl potential.
3. | | Chiefs | -- | 8-3 |
4. | | 49ers | +1 | 8-3 | The 49ers have finally gotten payback for a moment that lives in every fans memory. Brock Purdy, Deebo Samuel, Fred Warner, George Kittle, Nick Bosa and Charvarius Ward celebrated their 31-13 victory over the Seahawks Thursday with Turkey and Cornbread which they also shared with the 49er fans in attendance. The team heads to Philly for a rematch of the NFC Championship game on Sunday. There is no love lost between these two franchises, with both fans and players trading barbs since the Eagles came away victorious in the playoffs.
5. | | Cowboys | +1 | 8-3 | Dallas has a top 5 MVP odds player, a top 8 OPOY odds player, and TWO top 4 odds players for DPOY. Highest scoring team in the league, highest point differential in the league, thirds fewest points allowed in the league. 5th in total offense, third in total defense. After a bit of a midseason droop, Dallas has been on fire lately. They are getting QBs benched, coaches fired, and Dolly Parton jamming out in the stadium. Its go time.
6. | | Dolphins | +1 | 8-3 | The first Black Friday game in NFL history ended in a bittersweet way for all Dolphin fans. While we did go on the road and demolish the Jets 34-13, we ended up losing our best pass rusher and a budding star in Jaelan Phillips for the rest of the year due to the shitty MetLife turf. After battling injuries throughout the year, Phillips was finally finding his groove and had recorded at least 1 sack in his last 5 games. An incredible force in the run game who recorded 5 TFL in the past two games, he also had the highest motor of any player on our defense. Fortunately we have a very good player in Andrew Van Ginkel (PFF's #9 Edge rusher) who will be doing his best to fill in Phillips shoes.
7. | | Lions | -3 | 8-3 | The Detroit Lions are now 0-13 all-time on Thanksgiving when the moon is in waxing gibbous. These astrological fates took aim at the offense to ensure victory, turning the greatest strength and core of the Lions identity, the offensive line, into a pressure-generating clinic, disrupting time for Goff who, in turn, played one of his worst games of the season. Unfortunately with the Lions, anything but perfection will open doors for mass panic and worry, as it is well documented that this team has been wholly unable to get any sniff at success in the Super Bowl era. Despite the shadow of history, however, the turnover and o-line issues seem correctable, and this coaching staff has shown the ability to admit and correct issues within the team before they fester. Detroit will look to get back to offensive form against the New Orleans Saints next week, where Dan Campbell will be facing his former employer for the first time in his Lions tenure.
8. | | Jaguars | +1 | 8-3 | The Jaguars demonstrated to the Texans that they're not the same team from earlier in the year. While a far cry from flawless, the team put up a performance that makes it clear they're a squad capable of, and ready to play good football. The Jags' schedule from here on out is mostly lax sans a firey Baltimore team due to be faced in a few weeks. If they can keep their performances up, the #1 seed is a real possibility with a little help. Also, the offficiating for this game was fucking horrid, and it's disgusting to watch zebras shift things so wildly every week.
9. | | Bills | +1 | 6-6 | How many back breaking losses can one franchise take? The easy excuse is to say the officiating was blatantly one-sided. Im usually against that argument, but this time? I mean it was pretty awful… Still, this team failed to put away a game that was well in hand. That’s become a hallmark of the McDermott era —the Bills have been mediocre in one-score games, and downright bad in overtime. Sure, this week we were a Cook drop or a couple of Tyler Bass misses away from it being a non-issue, but the defense folding at the end of the game falls on coaching. The playoffs are still decently attainable, but to get there this team will have to put away a couple of talented opponents.
10. | | Browns | -2 | 7-4 | Scorigami! The Browns managed to cough up the ball enough to give the Broncos a massive edge in a game that also cost them Garrett. Could it get worse? Sure. Dorian Thompson-Robinson is in the concussion protocol.... So come on down future Browns legend Joe Flacco! The Browns will face the so-so Rams in LA next sunday.
11. | | Texans | -- | 6-5 | Takes deep breath Referees in the NFL have a very hard job and it’s completely understandable that from time to time they might miss a call or two, or three, or eight. I’m not going as far as to say they had a bias against Houston because the Jags also had a huge no-call too, but I don’t believe anyone can say that it wasn’t an egregiously officiated game from Clay Martin’s crew. Anyways, as to what the Texans could control…for as statistically great of a day as CJ Stroud had on Sunday, the final two drives really put into focus what needs to be worked on. For the second straight week Stroud faced 4th and short and went for the homerun ball instead of trying to pick up the first. I love Stroud’s boldness, but this type of play, along with a couple of ugly sacks on the final drive that hurt Matt Amendola’s FG chances, has derailed late drives in close games. The Texans secondary once again was missing Jimmie Ward and Trevor Lawrence took full advantage as Calvin Ridley couldn’t not get open, and once again Tytus Howard went down with a knee injury putting the O-Line back into question. While the division may be all but out of reach, the Texans are still firmly in the wild card chase with a schedule that includes three of the other teams also in the hunt over the next 6 weeks.
12. | | Steelers | +1 | 7-4 | The Bengals have a defense who statistically hover around 30th. The Steelers just got rid of Matt Canada. Something's gotta give, and it did on Sunday. The Steelers had offense. In fact, over 400 yards of it, which apparently is the first time that's happened in eleventy billion years by the way pundits make it sound. Also, the reports of Pat Friermuth's demise were greatly exaggerated. It just turns out that you need to use him to get production out of him. Who knew, right? Being real for a moment, which is it really? Was getting rid of the OC that much a jolt? Are the Bengals that woeful on defense? It's probably a little bit from Column A, and a little bit from Column B. But in what ratio? That remains to be discovered over the coming weeks. Also worth noting that for once, Jaylen Warren was opening up the run game for Najee Harris, not the other way around. This backfield is becoming a two-headed monster. Now, the Steelers have shown that they can hurt you with a power run game from Harris, or have best-in-league pass pro from Warren along with his versatile quicks. There's a lot more to say about Dionte's attitude, Faulkner's new duties, the easy schedule to close out the season...but it should be said in the coming weeks as these things develop a bit more. Right now, this is a solid running team with a new attitude who are playing to the right strengths of the right players on offense.
13. | | Broncos | +4 | 6-5 | In a universe where the gods exert control over the fates of mortals, true miracles happen only where the gods arent looking. It is in these blind spots that the Broncos have found success. With each successive miracle, though, the likelihood of drawing the gaze of the football gods increases, and the inevitability of a correction grows. The most fun is had in things that the gods do not intend. Our most recent heist stole from the natural order our fifth consecutive victory. We may have been slightly favored in this contest, but last season saw so much hope spilled that nothing is left for us to take for granted. We venture on, ever guarded against confidence, silently fearful of each opponent, constantly hoping that our spilled hope congeals into something resembling pride. The coagulated dread of a near decade of failure lurks as a deadly clot, circulating through our bodies and threatening to burst through the thin walls of our playoff dreams.
14. | | Seahawks | -2 | 6-5 | Life is full of mystery. Are we the only intelligent life in the universe? What comes after death? Why are the Seattle Seahawks such masochists? After showing out strong and taking down the Lions in week 2, the Seahawks have had a tough go of things. The offense has been... brutal. Zero offensive touchdowns against the contenders we have played (3 points against Baltimore, 6 against the 49ers) is not going to cut it. Going 0-2 against the Rams is not going to cut it. The defense has had their struggles as well. Devon Witherspoon is the bright spot of this team, making plays consistently. Seattle is lucky to be in the playoff picture, but the Packers and Rams loom in the shadows. Seattle now has a 3-week stretch of Dallas, San Francisco Part II, and Philly. Going 0-3 is not a death sentence, but the Seahawks reallyyyy need to come away with at least one victory. Let's see what you've got, Pete.
15. | | Colts | +3 | 6-5 | If the season ended today, the Indianapolis Colts would be in the playoffs! Yes, the same Colts who lost rookie QB Anthony Richardson for the season after four games. The same Colts who started the year without All-Pro RB Jonathan Taylor, who will potentially now miss even more time with a new thumb injury. Fiery head coach Shane Steichen has turned this team around on the backs of Gardner Minshew and Zack Moss, and with the weakest schedule in the league still to come and the two toughest matchups both coming at home (PIT, HOU), the Colts are solidly in contention for their second playoff appearance in five seasons. For the Shoe!
16. | | Vikings | -2 | 6-6 | Brian Flores deserves a ton of credit for how much he has turned around the Vikings' defense -- from 9th-worst defensive DVOA last year to 9th-best this year (and 8th in EPA/play allowed) -- and that's after losing six of last year's starters, including key pieces like Za'Darius Smith, Eric Kendricks and Dalvin Tomlinson. Flores has revamped the defense with a unique zone-blitz identity, and last night his defense held their opponent to just 12 points, despite the offense throwing four separate interceptions. Unfortunately the Vikings' offense deserved to lose more than the defense deserved to win, and now the Vikings head into the bye contemplating whether to hand the reins over to rookie QB Jaren Hall or veteran backup Nick Mullens or to stay the course with the Passtronaut despite the heavy turblence.
17. | | Rams | +4 | 5-6 | Welcome back Kyren Williams. That was about as complete and balanced as a win could possible be: 33 passes for 229 yards, and 33 runs for 228 yards. Don't look now, but with a win over the Browns, a SEA loss @ DAL and GB loss vs KC, the Rams will sneak into the 7 seed.
18. | | Packers | +6 | 5-6 | I've maligned our defensive coordinator and our special teams unit frequently in these writeups, but am I about to give them a little credit? Rashan Gary was a monster with 3 sacks and the DL sustained constant pressure against Goff, forcing 2 huge fumbles from Jared and three fourth down stops. Defense played a very solid "bend-don't-break" type of game, generating enough big plays to frustrate the Lions offense. The special teams unit got a 4th down stop of their own and downed three punts inside the 10. Despite missing an extra point (that's three games in a row now, Carlsen has to be better), a pretty solid game from the third unit. Of course the big focus for most is on Jordan Love and Christian Watson's excellent game, but this is merely a continuation of the positive trends from the offense over the last month or so. Still stuff to improve upon all around but this felt like our first real complete game since the Bears in Week 1. But then again it's the Lions on a waxing gibbous thanksgiving game so how impressive it is really?
19. | | Bengals | -4 | 5-6 | The Bengals somehow kept the game close despite not being able to move the ball or prevent the Steelers from moving the ball. Maybe getting Tee Higgins healthy will give Jake Browning another chance to show off his full potential, but the more likely scenario is that the Bengals will tank the remainder of the season and try again next year.
20. | | Saints | -4 | 5-6 | Pain
21. | | Chargers | -2 | 4-7 | This fucking team. They score 38, they need 41. They have arguably the best game of Herbert's career, the receivers can't catch a thing. Defense steps up and holds the AFC #1 seed to 13 points (until a garbage time score), offense scores less than 17 for the first time all season. This fucking team.
22. | | Falcons | +1 | 5-6 | Terry was fired up like this was his Super Bowl, and thankfully his best free agent acquisition, Jesse Bates, played like it. Although Pitts only caught two passes for 22 yards, MVP Bijan and London were each dangerously close to 100 yards each. Big props to Ridder, who handled pressure better than weeks past, took baby steps again as he remains unfazed by Arthur Smith's game of musical chairs. When this offensive line is playing up to its potential and salary, they are a collective force. Fotunately, this in-sync play is coming at a time the offense needs to be relied on more, and Atlanta ran the ball 41 times behind that line, with Allegier and Patterson carrying 10 and 8 times respectively. They played to their strengths and won, maybe Arthur should consider that again next week. The Falcons have a very winnable game next with, with Saleh having worse quarterback problems than Atlanta, and this season has already proven nothing is given. Shoutout to Koo, who (with a Justin Tucker miss) has become the NFL leader in field goal percentage.
23. | | Buccaneers | -3 | 4-7 | I don't mean to get political but what the fuck is a well coached football team???? The NFC South is just 4 kids stacked on top of each other in a trenchcoat. It looks like a football division, it acts like it's one, and it demands to be taken seriously, but everyone just points and laughs at the poorly masked incompetence of it. If you told me that after this week the Buccaneers would be one game behind the division leader and an NFC South a coach would've been fired I would've been happy because that meant "Either Buccaneers won or Bowles got fired". It was neither as the Tampa Bowles got Minshew'd and Todd continued his best impression of a human that's possessed by a Ditto.
24. | | Raiders | -2 | 5-7 | Getting real close to mock draft season boys.
25. | | Titans | +2 | 4-7 |
26. | | Jets | -1 | 4-7 | It turns out that benching a terrible quarterback and replacing him with another terrible quarterback is not going to suddenly jumpstart the offense. Fire Joe Douglas.
27. | | Bears | +2 | 4-8 | I remember my first time. It was not pretty. I couldn't quite stick it in, but had to settle for some shots from a distance. It definitely felt like I blew it early (though it ended up finishing fine after all was said and done). It wasn't what you'd call 'must watch' primetime viewing. Congrats to Matt Eberflus on his first NFC North win!
28. | | Commanders | -2 | 4-8 | For anyone who had the volume off during this game so you could hear your drunk uncle talk about the government, you should know that Tony Romo was literally frothing at the mouth in describing Dallas as a Super Bowl bound team. When will they ever learn? Cowboys fans, your destiny is to be a perennial competitor in the top half of the league who leaves the playoffs by the divisional round, either by the hand of Aaron Rodgers or the carousel of 49ers QBs. Our destiny is to be a perennial bottom 10 team that yours gets to dunk on - learn your place, fools. In good news for Commanders fans, it seems that getting bent over by Tommy Devito was okay, but letting Dak Prescott beat you is going too far - thus ends the reign of Jack Del Rio at Defensive Coordinator. At 4-8, attention now turns to draft prospects and the awkward cheering for your team to both win and lose every week. You'd think it uncomfortable, but this is where Commanders fans have spent our lives. A season like this feels like visiting my parents house. My next prediction - stealing one or two more wins that keep us just out of reach of the top talent in the draft followed by a controversial coaching hire whose either a well-known fraud, a washed old guy, or Matt Patricia. Wake me up when it gets interesting.
29. | | Giants | +1 | 4-8 | In a game where both teams had a large portion of their fanbases rooting for a loss, the Giants decided to suck just a little less than New England and eek out a second straight win under Tommy DeVito. While The Paisano Prince still has a ways to go in terms of avoiding sacks and pulling the trigger on open throws, he has easily exceeded any expectations that could be placed on a rookie UDFA practice squad QB. Jalin Hyatt had the best performance of his rookie season and the defense continues to impress, but is this a scrappy Giants team or one that simply took advantage of a weak part of their schedule? We may get our answer after the bye, when New York takes on a rising Green Bay Packers team.
30. | | Cardinals | -2 | 2-10 | Since the 2017 season, the Rams are 13-2 against the Cardinals. Coincidentally, 2017 is the year the Rams hired Sean McVay. Hard to say if these two events are linked. It’s actually insulting that you all don’t put mass amounts of money on the Rams to win. Put down $20 for Tyler Higbee to score a touchdown, it’s literally free money. If you are a Rams fan, congrats on having three bye weeks in a season, that must be nice. If you are a Cardinals fan, I implore you to specifically boycott watching games vs. LA. Just don’t do it. You know what will happen: Cardinals will score early in the game, misleadingly showing they’re going to compete, Rams decide to go up by 30 points, Kyler Murray gets hurt late in the game, REPEAT AD INFINITUM. Go do something else. Be a Suns or Diamondbacks fan. Just refer to this image any time you want to watch this team
31. | | Patriots | -- | 2-9 | Poplar Trees are fast growing and easy to propagate. In the spring right before leaves bud, you can cut Poplar branches of 1-2 feet in length and just shove one end in the ground to plant a new tree. The situation on the ground in Foxborough is getting weirder by the day. It’s a bit like a Pug or a French Bulldog where it has gotten so ugly that it’s crossed the line back into beautiful (to some). The absolutely mind boggling turnovers are no longer heartbreaking disasters. They bring sweet blessed relief (to some). A significant contingent of fans are celebrating the tank in full throat. For them, the worst thing that could happen this week was a win against the Giants. It was a challenging game to lose, but the local militia had the on-field leadership to get the job done. I know. I know. “Welcome to the neighborhood, Pats fans. This is a way of life for some of us.” I get it. I grew up here. I was drinking Apple Slice(™) at tailgates prior to watching Tony Eason (‘83 draft #15) take the field against Dan Marino (‘83 #27) This is me kicking around back in my old stomping grounds and finding a familiar comfort. It may not be living high on the hog, but we have fun where we can. Dark times call for dark humor. It’s that or give in to a bitterness and anger that I just can’t be bothered with. Football is fun. It’s a game. The hard times make the good times all the sweeter. There is a pattern of pruning I am personally drawn to called “pollarding” where you cut all growth from a tree above shoulder height. If you do it at the right time when a tree is still in its juvenile phase, the tree will not only survive but thrive. In this way you can harvest wood from the same tree every 3-5 years without having to kill it.
32. | | Panthers | -- | 1-10 | Another loss. A close game with a potential game tying drive in grasp but a disastrous 4th down screen play shattered all hopes. You would think that this is news but unfortunately losses are not news anymore, just the norm. The big news out of the Carolina Panthers organization is that Tpper has decided to fire head coach, Frank Reich, after going 1-10 in the first 11 games of his tenure. Reich era over in record time. Now, was Frank doing a great job? Not at all. The offense looked pitiful and he is an “offensive minded” head coach so that had to hurt his chances but what was he supposed to do? The O Line is comparable to the Berlin Wall in 1989, simply not there anymore. Terrible trench play and an abundance of injuries have made it IMPOSSIBLE for Bryce to have time to do anything, and in the rare instances he does have time, he looks solid. Our wide receivers don’t get open often. Is that Frank? It could be with his schemes and concepts but they also need to be able to play football, which they don’t do often. The defense has looked fine especially considering how many injuries there have been so no analyzation there but the major offensive woes cannot all fall onto Frank’s shoulders. Fitterer assembled this joke of a team under Tpper’s extremely watchful eye. Have you ever worked a job and the big boss is constantly breathing down your neck telling you everything is wrong when they don’t even touch the day-to-day operations? It’s really hard to succeed right? Well that’s what happened to Frank. He had to meet with Tpper every week? FOR WHAT?! Got damn let the football minds be football minds. Tpper needs to sell this team if he truly cares about the organization. And Fitterer is simply a yes man, which Tpper loves. Back to the regular job analogy: The kiss ass right below the big boss that you know sucks at his job but will laugh at all the big bosses shitty jokes and golf with him just to lose on purpose and inflate their ego (even though its already huge. How is it getting inflated?) That is Scott Fitterer. Now I don’t think Tpper will sell any time soon but if he fires Fitterer, there is hope to be had. On to he Bucs next week I guess. Winnable? I don’t even know anymore. We are going to be down bad for a bit but these are the times that make the potential good times so much sweeter (or so I’ve heard. It’s pretty dark and terrible down here at rock bottom). Keep Pounding.

Welcome to week 11 of the official r/NFL Power Rankings! With a 157 rating over the last two games, Purdy and seems to have taken the slump personally but how far will it take the niners? Mahomes is playing on All-Madden without adjusting sliders, how many ridiculous drops can he endure before rage-quitting? With another strong win, has Sean Payton justified his bucket hat ban? Tim Boyle will solve all of Saleh's problems, right? Discuss! 30/32 Reporting

1. | | Eagles | -- | 9-1 | “We suck,” “we look so bad,” “what is happening,” “are we fucked?”, “…never in doubt.” Hanging on by the skin of their beaks, the Eagles remain in sole possession of the NFL’s best record. The offense, despite some head-scratching play calls (looking at you, bubble screens and coward’s draws), did just enough against a top defense that dominated the line of scrimmage, a first for the Eagles in a long time. The defense made some key plays down the stretch, like securing an INT, forcing a fumble, and placing a witch’s hex on MVS’s hands. This is the 2023 Philadelphia Eagles experience: winning games is all that matters, much to the chagrin of aesthetically pleasing football. At 9-1, the Eagles have oddly given Philly fans much to complain about, but this team does share one thing in common with the dominant 2022 birds: lots of wins, not a lot of losses. Next up, another AFC powerhouse underperforming relative to their potential in the Bills.
2. | | Ravens | +1 | 8-3 | A week after the Ravens had multiple opportunities to close the door on Cleveland and couldn’t do it, they faced an essential must win at home for keeping pace in the AFC North race with a primetime matchup against Cincinnati. They did exactly that; despite Mark Andrews going down early in the first quarter, Lamar and the offense remained surgical exceeding 400 yards and 34 points while pushing the Ravens to 8-3. Unfortunately it's becoming exceedingly rare to see Burrow vs Lamar for a full 60 minute tilt. Fans leaguewide were hyped for what should've been a playoff atmosphere but was yet another Thursday night letdown featuring far too many injuries. Up next is a trip out west against what appears to be a floundering Chargers team. Make no mistake though, the Chargers' talent level far exceeds their 4 wins having only lost a single game this season by more than a field goal. If the Ravens can take care of business in LA they'll get a much needed week 13 bye to help a slew of All Pros(Marlon Humphrey, Ronnie Stanley, Marcus Williams) heal up and make our healthiest December push in years.
3. | | Chiefs | -1 | 7-3 | I was going to write a blurb this week but I dropped the ball. The weeks after a Chiefs' loss always drive me nuts because the jackals come out of the woodworks with hot takes. Do the Chiefs have the worst WRs in the NFL? Probably. Is it an issue that they haven’t scored in the 2nd half in 3 games? Definitely. Is this still one of the best teams in the NFL with a great chance of winning the 1 seed and grinding their way into playoff wins? Also yes. Stay healthy and don’t get flustered and we’ll see what happens in January.
4. | | Lions | -- | 8-2 | Holy shit Detroit had no business winning that game, and yet here we are, with the Brand New Lions at 8-2, their best record to start a season in the Super Bowl era. While Goff had a largely abysmal outing, he cleaned it up when it counted, going 10-12 for 115 yards and a TD on the final two drives to complete a 12 point comeback in under 4 minutes. Aidan Hutchinson had his second strip-sack game-ender of the year, having done the same thing to Desmond Ridder in week 3. Overall, this was a gritty, come-from-behind win in a divisional game that could have easily been a loss, and the resilience to get a win is stunning, given this club’s historical track record. This week, Lions welcome GB to Detroit for the annual Thanksgiving game on Thursday, looking to win their first turkey game since 2016.
5. | | 49ers | -- | 7-3 | Brock Purdy became only the 3rd 49ers QB to ever post a perfect passer rating in a game, en route to a 27-14 win over the Buccaneers. On the other side of the ball, losing Hufanga for the season is a big loss for a defensive unit that has been struggling against the pass. Stepping into the role is the rookie Ji'Ayir Brown, 3rd round pick out of Penn State. Coming in after the Hufanga injury, he initially struggled but seemed to gain his footing and effectively ended the game with his interception in the red zone. His first start will come in Seattle on Thanksgiving day.
6. | | Cowboys | -- | 7-3 | This platform has one job this week: advocacy for your defensive player of the year: Daron Bland. This dude is redonk. First of all, before Thanksgiving, he has tied the NFL record for pick sixes. He still has 41% of the season left, and the record is tied. Now, on its own, in a vacuum, that is impressive. For added perspective, he has as many TD catches as Nuk Hopkins, as Davante Adams, as Calvin Ridley, as the entire Falcons WR room. Now, everyone knows that there is more to QB play than just picks. So, let's look at other numbers. When targeted, he has an EPA of -47.6. His PFF grade is 91.1. He is allowing a passer rating of 36.5, which is three points lower than just chucking it into the dirt every time. And this is all as a second year player who was bounced outside from the slot after an injury to Trevon Diggs.
7. | | Dolphins | -- | 7-3 | It's still hard to believe we only had to give up a 3rd round pick and Hunter Long in order to add Jalen Ramsey to this team. He has looked every bit as good as he was with the Jaguars, let alone with the Rams. In 3 games he has 3 interceptions, with one them clinching the game late in the 4th quarter in a 20-13 win against the Raiders. He was also the biggest reason why we've shut out our opponent in the second half for two straight games. Our next game will be a tough Black Friday game where we'll travel to Metlife to face an extremely tough Jets defense. Hopefully we'll have De'Von Achane for this game as he reinjured his knee on Sunday, returned to the sideline, but was held out just as a precaution.
8. | | Browns | -- | 7-3 | What is even happening right now?
9. | | Jaguars | -- | 7-3 | In his best Jekyll/Hyde impression, TLaw posted his worst performance as a passer only a week removed from one in his top 5. A microcosm of the Jaguars as a whole as even in week 11 they're trying to find themselves to solidify who or what they are as a team. If the smothering performance this week is to be believed, the Jaguars are looking to turn the corner like they did last season... only this time with several more wins as a head start. Next week's rematch of a Texans team that flattened them earlier in the season will provide a true litmus test for who the Jags are now. Are they the sad kittens who got handled by some gold diggers? Or are they an apex predator, salivating for a ribeye? 🥩
10. | | Bills | +3 | 6-5 | This is the offense BillsMafia has been waiting to see, plus it was against a Jets D that gave us fits in the first matchup. Buffalo’s entering a brutal stretch right now, so this was a must-win. Next on the docket? The defending NFC Champion Philadelphia Eagles. This is likely the toughest matchup of the season for the Bills, and it doesn’t get any easier after the bye. If this team is gonna make the playoffs, they need to show up like they did against the Jets every week —and they won’t have the luxury of playing Zach Wilson.
11. | | Texans | +1 | 6-4 | As fun as this season has been for the Texans, there was always going to be an inevitable back to Earth game at some point for CJ Stroud. That came on Sunday as he was picked 3 times. The good news is that even in his first “rookie game” he still threw for 336 yards and the Texans came out with the W. In a reversal from previous weeks, the defense came to the rescue at the end of the game stopping Kyler Murray on 4th down in a potential game winning drive. Will Anderson got his 3rd sack of the season and Derek Stingley had himself a takeaway as well. My main concern moving forward, however, has been the number of points being left on the field by the offense in recent games. Multiple fumbles, red zone interceptions, and fourth down stops have turned what probably should’ve been two blowouts into nail biters. With a showdown against the Jags for the top spot in the AFCS next week, the Texans will need to be able to finish drives.
12. | | Seahawks | -1 | 6-4 | So you see, that's where the trouble began. That smile. That damned smile. The Rams continue to be a massive thorn in Seattle's side. You can try and put the blame on a multitude of things-- the zebras and their affinity for seeing yellow pieces cloth soar through the air, Geno Smith and Ken Walker both getting injured, etc. But at the end of the day, the Seahawks controlled the game all afternoon and even put themselves in a position to win the game in the end. It just didn't work out. Geno Smith said his radio malfunctioned at the end, leading to calling the quickest play he could (an inside run), essentially guaranteeing it would be the last offensive play for the Seahawks and sending Jason Myers to attempt a 55 yarder. He had already nailed 52 and 54 yard kicks, but the 55 yard attempt wasn't even close. The Rams deserve credit, as they have now beaten us twice this season without Cooper Kupp (essentially) both games. They seem to have our number. Devon Witherspoon, Tariq Woolen, and DK Metcalf continue to be bright, bright spots for this team. Seattle plays the archnemesis 49ers on Turkey day, and boy will Lumen be loud.
13. | | Steelers | +1 | 6-4 | Two great defenses. They get it done in different ways. Cleveland are the more traditional defense who will shut an opponent down. The stat sheet bears that out, and it's what they did to Pittsburgh on Sunday. The Steelers are more of a playmaking defense. While they did make some good plays, they really needed some playmaking from the offense, but the Browns just weren't having it. Underrated matchup: Myles Garrett vs TJ Watt. Myles was big when it counted, TJ was carrying the defense along with Elandon Roberts, who really stepped up. The Steelers have a revolving door with the IR and it's going to be iffy moving forward due to injuries, but it was at least promising to see the team put up a good fight without being close to full strength. Amazingly, Kenny Pickett was the less worse QB in the duel vs Dorian Thompson-Robinson. Combined, they had as many yards as Aidan O'Connell did for the Raiders, which was 271. Jaylen Warren was the only bright spot on offense. Aside from one huge run play by him, Cleveland was very much in control on defense. A final observation: It was hard to see former Steeler Joshua Dobbs shedding the pressure by the Broncos when Kenny Pickett was getting gobbled up by less. It seems that for the passing game to progress, he needs to get the ball out quickly when the defense brings the house, he needs to be more physical when he's extending the play, or preferably, both.
14. | | Vikings | +1 | 6-5 |
15. | | Bengals | -5 | 5-5 | Joe Burrow's season has come to end with a wrist injury. Things look bleak, but Jake Browning was good in college in 2016, so there's still hope.
16. | | Saints | +1 | 5-5 | "There is a large graveyard filled with my enemies. I do not wish to add to it, but will if given no choice. Those who pick fights with me do so at their own peril, but maybe this is their lucky day..." - Saints WR type tweet 15 mins before either they're cut, or the coach is fired. Which way will the buttered toast land in the coming weeks?
17. | | Broncos | +4 | 5-5 |
18. | | Chargers | -2 | 4-6 | https://twitter.com/Stop_Hammerzeit/status/1726356277348257930
19. | | Colts | -- | 5-5 | The Colts were on a bye this week, but just for fun, these are the starting QBs they're set to face the rest of this season: Baker Mayfield, Will Levis, Jake Browning, Kenny Pickett, Desmond Ridder, Aidan O'Connell and CJ Stroud. PFN declared ours the third-easiest remaining strength of schedule a week ago, and that was before Joe Burrow's season-ending wrist injury. A Week 18 win-and-in matchup against the Texans in Indy is definitely on the table 👀
20. | | Buccaneers | -2 | 4-6 | I'm depressed.
21. | | Rams | +4 | 4-6 | It took some friendly referees and a last second missed kick, but the Rams finally did enough to get back in the win column. Despite McVay’s awful time management and playcalling at the end of the game, the defense yet again carried the offense just enough and tanking is on pause as the schedule lightens up from here.
22. | | Raiders | -2 | 5-6 | There is no such thing as moral victories, and we weren't able to get the job done against the Dolphins this week. That being said, our defense was able to keep them in check, and forced 3 turnovers, unfortunately our offense was only able to produce 6 points off of those turnovers. At the end of the day though, I'm happier watching this team lose with AP coaching and AOC behind center than I was McDaniels and Jimmy G. Onto the Chiefs.
23. | | Falcons | +1 | 4-6 | A bye week to prepare for Nawlins means the offensive scheme will run as smoothly and efficiently as ever, right? Ridder given the nod at starter again is probably for the best, but best is still questionable to win the South. Atlanta needs a win this week, and losing Grady is a bigger blow than quarterback. It's time for Nielsen to prove why he deserves this DC promotion, perfect time to use his in house knowledge to beat his former team.
24. | | Packers | +3 | 4-6 | I watched the game from the bleachers in Lambeau this week and was not disappointed! The guy next to me was like "Jordan Love's gotta ink a game winning drive one of these days" and I reminded him that he already had a comeback against the Saints this year and he was like "well I guess we're looking for the second one then!" and we held up two fingers for the whole drive and then Doubs caught the touchdown and we all cheered and it was great! And the guys in front of us were like "ok Herbert wins these I'm getting flashbacks from the Rose Bowl he's gonna run it in and we're gonna be sad" and unlike the Rose Bowl Herbert just let his receivers drop passes and the Wisconsin team won and we were happy! I don't know these people's names but we celebrated like we were best friends. Sports are great y'all
25. | | Jets | -3 | 4-6 | And so the Zach Wilson era comes to an end. Make no mistake, this isn't a Sam Darnold situation where the organization failed to support the player. It's not as though Zach had no supporting cast during his time with and failed because the GM didn't invest in offense. In Zach's second year, he was throwing to Garrett Wilson, Elijah Moore, Corey Davis, Tyler Conklin, Breece Hall, and was protected by one of the most heavily invested offensive lines. The Jets had an elite defense for Zachs second and third year. Some players just don't have it. Sadly, the Jets downgraded their offense in every conceivable way to prepare for an Aaron Rodgers lead "all-in" push. The result is a historically bad offense paired with a very good defense and a team that will probably win just enough games to miss out on a Marvin Harrison Jr. level talent. Here's to picking 8th in the draft and to skipping the Black Friday game to hang up some Christmas lights. Fire Joe Douglas.
26. | | Commanders | -3 | 4-7 | Let the Ron RivEra end. Getting absolutely dunked on by Tommy DeVito should be the end of more than a few careers, especially a "defensive-minded" head coach and his defensive coordinator who have had several seasons and drafts to put together something serviceable. Brian Daboll hasn't beat the Cowboys or Eagles once, which is hilarious.. until you realize he's never lost to us once. This end result is F-tier. I suppose there is some consolation in the fact that Rivera's knack for getting shithoused by the Giants every year has contributed to their long term commitment to Danny Dimes, but boy does it feel bad. Leave it to this team to sack an undrafted free agent 3rd string quarterback NINE times, but still let him hang 3TDs on you, get no interceptions and overall have him look like Tom Brady out there. Remember, defense was supposed to be this team's strong point - defense is where they've spent most of their draft cap. Awful. Not that offense was any better with their 6 turnovers and overall dismal performance, starting with Howell who had what is probably his worst game yet. What a deflated, sad team. With the Cowboys (twice), Dolphins, Jets and Niners all left to come, the bottom of this pit may not yet be reached. Cowboys fans must be collectively hard as rocks knowing they have us twice in the next 7 weeks.
27. | | Titans | -1 | 3-7 | The Titans incapability to put together a basic football operation was displayed again on Sunday. The weakness of the offensive line combined with a defense that can’t get off the field never gave the Titans a chance to compete. Will Levis was pressured on 40% of his drop backs and the Titans only were able to run 38 plays. The 38 plays that the Titans ran was the fewest by any team this year and the 4th fewest over the past decade.
28. | | Cardinals | -- | 2-9 | Reddit's golden boy from Texas wearing a number 7 defeated an underrated Arizona player wearing #1. Wait, this isn’t r/nba! My bad folks. CJ Stroud is Kyler Murray’s father.
29. | | Bears | -- | 3-8 | In the wild, bears have no natural predator. That means they have no reason to be afraid of anything. The most unforgivable thing about the Chicago Bears coaching staff, on the other hand, is that they are absolute cowards led by a coward. For a season and a half now they've had nothing to lose by being aggressive in key moments - because everyone already expects them to lose. And yet every single time (except against Denver), they have consistently chosen the cowardly option. Chicago's total collapse against Detroit wasn't 'unimaginable' or 'stunning' or 'historic' or any of those other superlatives you saw online. It was absolutely predictable and sadly inevitable.
30. | | Giants | +1 | 3-8 | The Giants won on Sunday, proving that even led by resident basement-dweller, chicken cutlet enjoyer and 3rd string QB Tommy "Italian Stallion" DeVito, the G-Men still own the Commanders. The win itself was divisive among fans, as some were hoping for a full-fledged tank session while others just wanted to see some competent football. Regardless, fans have to be encouraged by the play from Tommy Salami on Sunday, who now has more games with multiple passing TDs than Kenny Pickett and over twice as many passing TDs as Daniel Jones in one-third the starts. The high-flying defense and a hopefully revitalized offense under Tommy Pastrami will now look to continue their success against a similarly woeful team in New England.
31. | | Patriots | -1 | 2-8 | The oldest tree in my yard is a Black Cherry. It’s seen about 100 trips around the sun, but it won’t last much longer. I found it choked by bittersweet vines and suffering from gummosis when I moved in. It’s tough watching this team fall into decay; no doubt about that. At this point the struggle is no longer with sadness or disappointment. The new boogeyman is boredom and disengagement. The bye week is a reprieve from sitting at the sick bed listening to “the machine that goes bing!” beat the tempo of creeping torpor. Have we seen the last win of Bill’s Patriots career? Will he rise for one last great day? Will he recover in a different climate, and have a different sort of goodbye? We keep vigil not because it is joyful, but because it is a simple expression of love. The weather may have changed, but the relationship endures. The program Bill leads has been not just a source of entertainment, but inspiration for my entire adult life. There is no football fan alive today who can honestly say that Belichick has not left an indelible mark upon the game itself. His reign of glory lasted longer than it had any right to, and everything that has a beginning has an ending. I’m here to honor that ending. I hold the same gratitude in my heart that I held in the best of times. Those memories are mine. They cannot be taken. I could never ask for more than I have already received. So I sit and watch as this team falls into repose. Ready to enjoy one last sunny day should the skies clear, but comforted by the warm glow of celebration radiating through time even as the wind blows fiercer, and frost glazes the windows. Some day that Black Cherry will expire. New trees will grow in the light it once shaded, and the soil they enjoy will be fertile for generations thanks to its contributions in both life and death.
32. | | Panthers | -- | 1-9 | We need a better offensive line. We need an offensive line that cares about their QB getting sacked. We need better wide receivers. We need our coaches to get pissed and hold players accountable. We need an identity. We need offense. We need a new GM. We need a new owner. We have the Titans next. Somehow this is a winnable game. Keep Pounding.

Welcome to week 10 of the official r/NFL Power Rankings! Remember how hyped up the yearly Colts-Patriots game used to be? The two franchises played another close one on Sunday, there just seems to be something off about Brady's footwork... The Vikings however, haven't missed a step since Cousins on their way to five straight wins. Campbell is preparing his team to win every game, several teams seem to be trying the opposite. How many more times will Reich send Pineiro out to kick past what his leg is physically capable of? Can Pittsburgh continue the standard of W's (and scraps in the box score)? After a rerun on Sunday, how will an extra week of rest affect Dallas and New York? Why would Jets make a change when Zach Wilson is playing pretty well? Discuss! 28/32 Reporting

1. | | Eagles | -- | | The Eagles had somewhat of a blank space with the bye. Yes, they beat Dallas the week prior, but they’re not out of the woods yet. Next up, a trip to Arrowhead where they’ll get to embrace their role as the anti-hero, and we’ll see if they succumb to the bye week rust or shake it off. Despite the Super Bowl loss, there’s not a ton of bad blood between these teams. Sure, it was a cruel summer replaying Hurts highlights and wondering what could have been, but overall, the invisible string between the Kelce brothers ties these two fanbases together. Don’t get it twisted, it’s no love story, as Eagles fans know all too well, and this is probably the 1 game this team has had circled on the calendar since last February. On Monday night, red and green will battle on the field, all 22 men fearless and mean. And after a week of what is sure to be forced, unending, obnoxious Swift-Philly-Kelce references, the only question… ready for it?
2. | | Chiefs | +1 | 7-2 | Is it possible for a team to win on the bye week anymore than the Chiefs just did? Every team that could help the Chiefs with another loss helped us. The Broncos and the Raiders both won but still have an incredible journey to try and sneak into the playoffs where they'll inevitably be bounced in the Wildcard round. In all reality at this point a few unexpected wins from both of those teams just hurts them in the long run, so it's hard to look at it as a bad thing. Overall another fantastic week for the Chiefs #1 agenda.
3. | | Ravens | -1 | 7-3 |
4. | | Lions | -- | 7-2 | Jared Goff has won yet another shootout against a highly touted AFC quarterback, this time surgically dissecting the Los Angeles Chargers as their vaunted pass rush flailed hopelessly against Penei Sewell and company. The Goffense looked absolutely lethal as the team averaged 6.5 yards on the ground and 10.1 yards through the air, and Goff himself was a perfect 8/8 for 120 yards and 1 TD in the 4th quarter, never letting LA take a lead. THEY RAN A 4TH AND FCKING 5 DRAW AND GOT IT. This offense is just unreal. Now, the defensive side (outside of the first quarter capped by the most impressive toe-drag pick I have ever seen by Kerby Joseph) was abysmal, as the Chargers’ pre-snap motion and no-huddle exposed communication issues throughout the Lions back-end while the line could not get any consistent pressure. Luckily for Aaron Glenn, the Chicago Bears are coming to the D next week, providing his defense with the perfect get right opportunity.
5. | | 49ers | +4 | 6-3 | The 49ers came strong out of the bye week and righted the ship against the surging Jaguars, ending their losing streak at 3 games. The team executed on both sides of the ball, looking more like the team who started the season 5-0 than the struggling team the last month. The team looks forward to 4 game stretch against 2022 playoff teams, with vs TB, at Sea, at Phi and vs. Sea coming up. This stretch should tell us more about whether the 3 game losing streak was just a slump or a signal of larger issues with a team that thinks of itself as a Super Bowl contender.
6. | | Cowboys | +2 | 6-3 | There reaches a point in a game like that where you just feel bad. Even on paper, it was like a September football game, with the Giants playing the role of Mercer. At halftime, Dallas had more points than the Giants had yards. But, a win is a win and they all count the same. You know, except for tiebreakers and stuff. Anyway, game 1 of a 12-13 game win streak is in the books.
7. | | Dolphins | -2 | 6-3 | The BYE week was fun! We finally get back from IR the most explosive RB in the league in De'Von Achane. Next week we play a surprisingly frisky Raiders team that's coming off a SNF win over the Jets. Thankfully the Raiders are 5-5 and not 6-4 or else we wouldn't have a chance at beating them according to the pundits. On that note, we've now moved from 0-3 to 0-2 vs above .500 teams :)
8. | | Browns | +4 | 6-3 | First quarter, right off the bat, things looked rough. But they turned it around.
9. | | Jaguars | -3 | |
10. | | Bengals | -3 | 5-4 | The Bengals are back at the bottom of their division after a critical dropped TD by Tyler Boyd cost them a chance to go up by 4 points in the final minutes of the game. With the score tied, CJ Stroud marched down the field as he had done all game, and easily got his team in position for the game-winning FG. If the Bengals want any chance at a division title they have to win in Baltimore on Thursday. If they can't get that done then it looks like their only path to the playoffs will be from a wild-card spot.
11. | | Seahawks | -- | 6-3 | We're back, baby. After putting up 3 points last week, the Seahawks bounced back against Washington's defense, putting up 29 points. However, the offense once again struggled to find the endzone; Jason Myers gets the game ball going 5/5 on field goals. The running game has been off for some time now and the passing attack can still improve. With Abe Lucas returning to practice, hopefully we can get back on track. Defensively, a lot of guys made a lot of plays. Witherspoon forced a fumble, ripping the ball away from Sam Howell aas Tariq Woolen scooped it up. speaking of Woolen, he had probably his best coverage game of the season this week. And last but not least... Boye Mafe has a sack in seven consecutive games, a Seahawks franchise record and making him one of only 3 players to have such a streak in their first 2 years (Jevon Kearse and Aldon Smith being the other 2). The Seahawks get the Rams in LA this Sunday before running into gauntlet of NFC juggernauts in the coming weeks
12. | | Texans | +4 | 5-4 | "You had my curiosity. But now you have my attention." After all the glowing press this about CJ Stroud and the possibility of contending for the playoffs, the Texans still had to show that they could at least hang with the top teams to be taken seriously. They did that and then some. Stroud channelled his inner TJ Yates and tormented the Bengals for another 356 yds and a last-minute drive for the win, but loses style points on an ugly interception that allowed the Bengals back into the game late in the 4th. The running game finally woke up here in week 10 as Devin Singletary went for 150 and a TD, and Sheldon Rankins' 3 sacks and forced fumble led a Texans defense that gave Joe Burrow fits for much of the day. At 5-4, the Texans are now firmly in the playoff race one year removed from a disastrous 3-13-1 season. The schedule moving forward is extremely favorable, but they can’t have any more letdowns like their loss to the Panthers.
13. | | Bills | -3 | 5-5 | It was a rough start to the game, so I polished off half of a Wegmans “Let’s Go Buffalo” cookie cake —as one does. Then did the same amount of damage to a case of Blue Light —you know, as one does. I left the game paused before I passed out (please no one spoil the end for me), and I’m gonna try and finish when I get home from work. I’m sure they’ve gotten all their mistakes out of the way, it’ll probably be smooth sailing through the second half, right?
14. | | Steelers | -1 | 6-3 | As has been said a few times in these blurbs, many times in the media, and countless times during Sunday's game, the Steelers are statistically at the bottom of a lot of categories, yet still find a way to win due to their defense. It was no different against the Packers as they continued to rely on the unreliable, which is getting turnovers in the red zone. Is that an identity or a strategy to build upon? Only time will tell, but this team is starting to coalesce into a running team that can force mistakes on defense. An interesting fact setting up for the playoff run is that the Steelers are the only AFC team with no losses in their own division. And as an aside, only the Chiefs have a better conference win percentage. This is why Sunday's game at Cleveland is even more important: a win for the Browns and they guarantee at least .500 record in the division, but with a loss, they not only fall behind a game, but are severely disadvantaged in tiebreaking scenarios. The Browns could not do better than 3 wins in the division if they lose on Sunday as they only have the Bengals left for their 6th AFC North game. With a win, the Steelers cannot do worse than 3 wins in the North and would hold the overall wins tiebreaker against the Browns. Expect both teams to know this and expect things to be intense.
15. | | Vikings | +2 | 6-4 | Down QB1, QB2, QB3, WR3 and also that Justin Jefferson guy, Josh Dobbs went out and put up the second-best QBR in the NFL this week against a very tough Saints' defense. Meanwhile, Brian "Fuck it, we ball!" Flores has schemed the Vikings into the 9th-best defense by EPA/play allowed with Danielle Hunter and a box of scraps.
16. | | Chargers | -2 | 4-5 | Time is a flat circle. Thanks to Brandon Staley's terrible, expensive defense another stellar offensive performance was wasted. The Chargers put up 38 points, including 5 TDs in a row, and still to lose. Anyone who was fooled by the defenses performance against Tyson Bagent and Zach Wilson got an abrupt reminder that this defense is, in fact, terrible. The Chargers are 0-2 this season when scoring 34+ points, the rest of the league is 34-2. After a down month, by his standards, it was great to see Herbert look like his old self because in about 2 months because in a few months a lot of the rest of the team around him will be blown up.
17. | | Saints | -2 | |
18. | | Buccaneers | +1 | 4-5 | Being a fan of a team from the NFC South this season is not an easy task. It's like telling your friends that you are dedicating your entire life to becoming a Hollywood movie star. Everyone tells you that the road ahead will be filled with pain, suffering and more than likely ultimate failure. But you are dedicated. You don't want to hear any negative thoughts. As long as there's even a 1% chance of success, you will keep trying, week after week. Most of the time, your Sundays are filled with despair. You are drunk and you are pondering the future. The future seems bleak. You have no idea why you are still hoping for something good. You have no idea why you expect change. It's insanity! Nothing changes and you expect better results? However, every once in a while there's a glimmer of hope. You'd get a role in the back of some movie. No one will see you, but you'd get paid, just enough to prolong your suffering that "maybe one day things will be better". Most of the time it's pain. Most of the time it's squandered potential. It's a childlike dream that turned into a nightmare. But one day. One day you get a call that might change your entire career. You are getting a role on a popular HBO show. It's a small role but you'd be seen. Your name will even be on the credits! You just know that this might be the shot you needed! Everything's coming up! And honestly? It's the hope that kills you. The Buccaneers game against the Titans was that call. A call that gives you hope that maybe this is the start of something special. The start of a run that might land you fame and an Oscar in the future. It probably won't lead to anything. But god dangit it's nice to get that call and hear "This Sunday is your lucky day. You got the role. You are the vigorous hand job guy.
19. | | Colts | +1 | 5-5 | Die Colts haben das Spiel in Frankfurt gewonnen! 🇩🇪 Hey, a win is a win, right? The Colts head into their bye week at .500 after back-to-back ugly wins over two of the worst teams in the league. Their next two games are against teams that currently have losing records (TB, at TEN), so there's an opportunity to continue the winning streak and make a playoff push. (Fun fact: After last night's game, the Colts are now ahead of the Bills in the playoff standings.) Whether Indy remains competitive or not, one thing's for sure: Coach Steichen can get these boys 🔥 FIRED UP! 🔥
20. | | Raiders | +7 | 5-5 | As expected this weeks game against the Jets was a slog, with both defenses stifling the opposing offenses. We were able to come out with a close win thanks to great defense from Tyler Conklin. That won't happen against the Jets. A loss without McDaniels at coach feels better than anything ever did with him though.
21. | | Broncos | +5 | 4-5 | Pull up a chair and let me try to explain the identity of my football team. The Denver Broncos are a lost kid at the mall who pooped their pants and won a Maserati from a raffle they did not enter. They cannot drive. They cannot find their parents. They cannot. Be. Normal. Last season's cavalcade of unrelenting filth has borne to us a new kind of strangeness. One less vomitous, yes, but no less grotesque. It retains the degenerative chill, the unfeeling scientific disaster of apoptosis, but with each cell death it spurts forth a violent, sulfuric cheer. YES! The body hollers in decay. GO BRONCOS! Its limbs work themselves apart as would toilet paper in muddy water. And yet, the body doesn't die. The partially dissolved limbs, thought lost, glom back onto the frame, eager to form new, unacceptable appendages. It continues to cheer, decaying and reforming at an unnervingly slow, but quickening pace. This kaleidescope of flesh rumbles forth, mis-shaping itself forward. Onward! Go, you sticky, wet mess! Go, Broncos Country! We cannot die...no, we can be anything...
22. | | Jets | -4 | 4-5 | Eight offensive touchdowns in ten games. Fire Joe Douglas.
23. | | Commanders | -- | 4-6 | Nothing about this season is shaping up to be described as "ideal", but this past Sunday's fall to the Seahawks might have been "ideal". Or is that just the copium talking? Look, the season is over; this team isn't going anywhere. So it's all about getting reps and film on the guys who will be here next year with the new coaching staff. The best outcome is to be competitive and play a good game, but keep your draft prospects decent. This loss achieved that. Individual performances were, and have been, inconsistent from almost everybody, but Sam Howell has quickly become the most consistent performer (behind P Tress Way, of course). The kid can throw the ball and at this point has proven the game isn't too big for him, nor too fast. He's still making some rookie mistakes, but the adjustments in offensive gameplan seem to be helping as Howell is finding himself on the turf much less. This Sunday's game was another fine entry into his young resume. Other than Howell though, much of the team's key players have been lackluster, particularly on defense. The secondary continues to blow coverages and give up massive plays. The linebacker corps continues to be easy to block and ineffective in coverage. The receiving group, considered one of the team's strengths, has had a rough couple of weeks with difficulty getting open and Jahan Dotson dropping as many passes as he catches. Consistently inconsistent, a theme that has followed this franchise through Rivera's tenure and most of the last 3 decades. This team is likely to settle in at 6-11 this season and hopefully ride with its new franchise quarterback into stardom next year. Also, how was this worth an ejection? And how does a hit to the head deemed worthy of an ejection not result in a player immediately going into concussion protocol?
24. | | Falcons | -3 | 4-6 | In three years, here are Smith's wins against winning teams. What do you call a team that doesn't beat good teams, but also loses to bad teams? A ~~bad~~ worse team. AS must be reading the message boards because Bijan finally touched the ball 20+ times, but next game might turn into the Drake London experience just to keep him from quitting on the team. If you're reading this Arthur, do you think long developing routes are a fit for an offensive with protection issues and a quarterback who can't make reads post snap? Might as well pop a loss down for every game remaining, there's no clue what winning takes when you can't give an explanation. Falcons fans, please use the upcoming bye week as wisely as the organization will, by growing and subsequently shaving mustaches by the start of week 12.
25. | | Rams | -1 | 3-6 | After a bye week full of mock drafts and Puka OG Fortnite vic roy's, Stafford is set to return and the weekly disappointment will resume.
26. | | Titans | -4 | 3-6 | The Titans lost to the Buccaneers on Sunday in a game that truly exposed the offensive line as a subpar unit that can barely put together enough drives to keep up with any team. Rookie Will Levis had a rough day behind the line getting pressured on 21 of his 39 pass attempts. The receivers didn’t help Levis much either, dropping 5 passes throughout the game.
27. | | Packers | -2 | 3-6 | These are the losses I was expecting on having at the beginning of the season. Going against an above .500 team in a tough road game, showing some flashes of good things but not quite pulling out the W. The offense finally looked moderately competent in the first half! Love's statline doesn't look great but he had some fantastic throws that still gives you hope of constructive improvement for the second half of the season. I'd be feeling a lot better about the season if all of our losses looked like that. Onto next week!
28. | | Cardinals | +3 | 2-8 | Kyler Murray: Back. James Conner: Back. Arizona Cardinals: Back. Don’t call it a come: Back. Knick Knack Paddy: Wack.
29. | | Bears | -- | 3-7 | Thursday night was the Bears' most helpful win in 2 seasons, as they managed to find a way to tank and win a game at the same time. Bagent has showed he belongs in the NFL and can be a servicable backup for the next several seasons (what a bargain!). But my eyeballs are desperately hoping Fields returns this week. If he does, he'll return to a tough stretch of games - @ Lions, @ Vikings, vs Lions - but that's exactly the type of game he needs to play well in to change his future. The best case scenario for the franchise is still that he balls out over the second half of the season and makes their decision in the draft easy. The second best case is he absolutely bombs and the Bears clean house and draft twice in the top three. We'll see what happens!
30. | | Patriots | -2 | 2-8 | Sugar Maple trees are glorious in times of transition. In Autumn they display vibrant red leaves. In early Spring they produce a magnificent sap, commonly rendered into syrup. Few things are ever certain, but two ideas took a clear step forward this week with yet another nonsensical loss to yet another meager foe. Mac is out of time to show he’s the future. Bill is ready to step aside with grace. I expect years from now, the lazy talking point to be repeated ad infinitum: “Did Mac kill Bill, or did Bill kill Mac?” The much weirder and more complicated truth will always be that this whole thing was a lot closer to working out than most will care to admit. The game of inches was there so many times along the way, so often pivoting to the dark side. Perhaps the biggest “what if” on the list, is “What if Josh McDaniels had stayed in New England instead of taking the entire offensive staff to Las Vegas for an 18 month bender?” I find myself marveling at the strength of the hex delivered by the other 31. This whole clown show feels like an answer to two decades worth of prayer, and perhaps part of the penance for soaking up so much sun. It’s going to be weird to see Bill celebrating win #348 on the Bears sidelines, but in a way it will be a fitting tribute to Halas. Maple sugar held a sacred place in many indigenous cultures as the first food source to emerge after a difficult winter.
31. | | Giants | -1 | |
32. | | Panthers | -- | 1-8 | Panthers should just forfeit the rest of the season at this point. Another frustrating loss in Chicago on Thursday Night Football where the nation got to see how bad we really are. I will again start with the good as there is not much. Our defense looked solid AGAIN. We allowed one touchdown. One. Donte Jackson also had maybe his best game of the season. Special teams also had a couple stand out plays that included a punt to the 1 yard line and a punt return touchdown that was literally our only touchdown. (Loser talk is gassing up how good our two special teams played). That was basically all the good, now the bad. Our offense is the worst in the league. It is as simple as that. Still no identity, O-line is bad, Bryce is under performing and our WRs don’t seem like they try to get open. RBs are ok at best but Miles Sanders is still under performing relative to the contract he signed. We are in a bad spot. Scott Fitterer is basically sitting on lava at the moment and Frank Reich is sitting right next to him in a hot seat of his own. Reich’s press conferences still show he is optimistic (not sure how) but I suspect we are truly at the mercy of Davd Tpper who is the real problem. If T*pper would let the football guys do football things, we would be wayyy better off. I wish we could claw back to down bad but we are at rock bottom and we are setting up a tent to camp there for the time being. The Cowboys are coming to Charlotte in Week 11 and oh boy we might lose by 50+ points. Yikes once again. Keep Pound

Welcome to week 8 of the official r/NFL Power Rankings! Happy Halloween everyone, ready for some spooky trades? Josh Dobbs will look to transform Minnesota back into contenders, while Montez Sweat will transform 2-6 Chicago into...? Will Purdy bounce back after a month of 4th quarter mistakes? After their mile high loss can Kansas City shake it off? Is there any clear cut top team? Discuss! 32/32 Reporting

1. | | Eagles | +1 | 7-1 | With the Phillies knocked out and the Sixers sending Harden to the retirement home that is the Clippers, Nick Sirianni is running out of pandering graphic tees, resorting to a plain Flyers logo or, and this is not made up: a fake logo for Dom, their celebrated head of security. Yes, the Eagles are the main attraction in town, and it showed this week: despite two fumbles inside the 5 and trailing for much of the game, the birds found a way to make the final minutes of their game in Landover relatively stress-free. Thanks to another dominant performance from AJ Brown, who is continuing his historic run, the offense was able to overcome those early mistakes to come back, icing the game with a late Swift TD. Yes, the defense that trounced the NFL’s top offense a week ago let Sam Howell look like Tom Brady for much of the matchup, but made a play, a late interception, when it mattered. Looking ahead, the Eagles have a tough upcoming schedule starting against the red-hot Cowboys. Eagles fans are just hoping Nick will continue to leave the t-shirts out of this matchup.
2. | | Ravens | +1 | 6-2 | Home sweet home. Somehow, some way the Ravens have escaped a trek from Cleveland to Pittsburgh to London to Baltimore to Arizona with a 4-1 record. After a trouncing of the Lions the Ravens, somewhat expectedly, didn’t look nearly as sharp on the road in Arizona this week but they found a way to get the job done and in the NFL that’s all you can do some days. While many fans are still begrudging frustrating losses to the Colts and Steelers the team’s in a great position at 6-2. Up next is an absolutely critical 3 game home stretch against the Seahawks, Browns and Bengals. With Cincy quickly regaining form the Ravens need to hold serve and win at least 2 of the next 3.
3. | | Chiefs | -2 | 6-2 | Rats started being used in biomedical experiments during the early 19th century. There are a number of reasons for this, cost of maintenance and an eerily similarity to human biology at the top of the list. In part due to those early lab rats and their domestication process, we have become incredibly familiar with the species. They are surprisingly social animals with an immense play drive. When two lab rats are introduced to each other they frequently begin to play fight early on. In these fights the bigger of the two lab rats almost always wins, which is intuitive enough I suppose. The interesting thing is that if the bigger rat always wins, the smaller of the two rats will eventually stop trying to play at all, and the bigger rat stops having fun as a result. This has led to an interesting phenomenon where the bigger rat will occasionally allow the smaller rat to win in order to keep them interested in playing and to allow the games to continue into the future.
4. | | Dolphins | +1 | 6-2 | It wasn't an easy, but a win is a win. The Patriots did a great job in coverage forcing Tua to think about where he wanted to go with the ball, but Tua still had an excellent day throwing for over 300 yards 3 TDs and one INT in a 31-17 win over the Pats. Jalen Ramsey had his long-awaited debut and did not disappoint. He picked off Mac Jones after making a great read on the QB leaving his man to swoop right in front of a different receiver for the interception. The team now turns its attention to the Kansas City Chiefs for a quasi-primetime game in Germany. Both teams are very motivated for this game as the Chiefs will be trying to bounce back from an embarrassing loss to the Broncos, while the Dolphins will be trying to prove they can hang with and beat great teams too. If Xavien Howard and Jevon Holland both play, it'll be the first time all season that our defense will be playing at full strength. It should be the game of the week.
5. | | Lions | +1 | 6-2 | MNF produced a dominant Lions performance everywhere but the box score. Jahmyr Gibbs alone outgained the entirety of the Las Vegas Raiders, and the Lions defensive line had the highest pressure rate in an NFL game since 2018, pressuring Garoppolo on a whopping 71.4% of dropbacks (shoutout Alim McNeill for wrecking the interior) and notching 6 sacks and 9 QB hits. If not for an extreme aversion to scoring TDs when they got to the redzone (last night alone dropped them five spots in red zone efficiency rankings), this game could have easily been a 30-40 point victory margin. The Detroit Lions are now 6-2 and the current 2 seed in the NFC, and are heading into their bye itching to heal up some key contributors. David Montgomery, Jonah Jackson, and Frank Ragnow are all looking to be on track to return to the lineup week 10 against the LA Chargers, providing a lethal boost to their run game with Gibbs and Montgomery hopefully playing their first fully healthy game together since the absolute drubbing of Green Bay.
6. | | Jaguars | +1 | 6-2 | The Jaguars would rather you pay them no notice. Don't look at the fact that they currently hold the league's longest active win streak. Give no attention to the destructive 2.3 takeaways per game they average. Disregard that they're one of the least penalized teams in the league. Ignore the touchdown machine ETN has become. Never mind that the Jaguars continue to find ways to win games even should they make ugly mistakes. Oh, you are paying attention? Seems you already know: The future is feline. 😼
7. | | Cowboys | +1 | 5-2 | Who had "Bones Revenge Game" on their bingo card? Anyone? This was another wonderful three phase victory. Special teams blocked a kick and broke off a big return, Daron Bland got ANOTHER pick six, and Ceedee Lamb tied him for the team lead in touchdowns. The team got right, and now they are on to Philly.
8. | | Bills | +1 | 5-3 | The Bills let this game get closer than it had any right being, but there’s still plenty of positives to be taken away. The offense was humming for the first time in a few weeks, putting up 427 total yards. Unfortunately, it didn’t translate into points on a few drives —an issue Buffalo’s had since last season. With all that being said, this game felt like the Bills finding their stride again, and hopefully they’ve found it, with a Monday night matchup against the red-hot Bengals slated for week 9.
9. | | 49ers | -5 | 5-3 | The niners secondary was carved up for the second straight week, this time by a finally healthy Joe Burrow. Yet again, the run game was uneffective, putting lots of pressure on Purdy to keep drives going. The second year QB was able to move the chains for most of the game, but again had costly turnovers late to kill momentum. The bye week has come at the right time, hopefully giving the team the time necessary to fix the weaknesses that have surfaced the last three weeks.
10. | | Seahawks | -- | 5-2 | It was an awesome week for Seahawks rookies, with both Jake Bobo and JSN finding the endzone. After a blazing hot start, the Seattle offense cooled significantly beyond the first quarter. Geno had some off throws, particularly when targeting DK Metcalf. The ground game was uncharacteristically quiet. The Browns defense deserves a ton of credit; they kept Cleveland in this game. On the defensive side, it was more of the same from the Seahawks defense. Tariq Woolen and Devon Witherspoon have been a pretty dominant duo, and the defense has been absolutely humming since Jamal's return a few weeks ago. Boye Mafe has developed into a hell of an edge if the beginning of the season is any indication. And finally... Welcome to Seattle Leonard Williams!
11. | | Bengals | +1 | 4-3 | The Bengals finished their season sweep of the NFC West on Sunday, but now need to do what they haven't done yet this year, beat an AFC team. Sunday Night Football against the Bills is looming, and although it's too early in the season to call anything a must-win, the game does have huge playoff implications for both teams.
12. | | Browns | -1 | 4-3 | Kareem Hunt was left absent in the latter part of the week eight loss to the Seahawks, having fans ask why take your foot off the gas when you're about to cross the finish? Seattle scored a late TD to win. Watson was yet again sidelined with a shoulder injury. The Browns will face the, frankly, terrible Cardinals next week.
13. | | Chargers | +6 | 3-4 | The Chargers finally gave their fans what they wanted: a boring ass game. No praying your fingers hoping that the opposing kicker misses heart races. No watching the rookie QB drive towards the endzone as your blood pressure skyrockets. No 4th-and-Staley moves late in a tight game that drive made Rex Ryan lose his mind. Just a normal ass comfortable win. No one hands out cookies for beating a D2 rookie QB in his 2nd start, but screw you guys. We'll bake our own cookies. You don't have Chargers PTSD like we do.
14. | | Saints | +7 | 4-4 | Saints are .500 on the season, fans have no idea what to make of them, Derek Carr is a rollercoaster, Dennis Allen continues to be middling. And we wouldn't have it any other way.
15. | | Steelers | -2 | 4-3 | Credit where credit is due - The Jaguars playoff dreams can melt steel beams. The former AFC Central rival Jags really are looking up and the Steelers caught them on their way to establishing an impressive 2023 resume. Losing Pickett and Fitzpatrick to injury was a devastating blow, especially on a short week with Thursday Night Football coming up. Pittsburgh needs a quick turnaround. They have to shake this loss off and figure out how to put together a solid challenge to a Titans team who have still not won consecutive games this season. Coming off of a win against a tenacious Falcons team, Tennessee are not only an old AFC Central rival who have broken Steel City dreams of their own, but also could start their own upward climb with a win against this Steelers team.
16. | | Jets | +2 | 4-3 | The Jets have three extremely improbable victories and have really only outplayed one team for 4 quarters. But here they are at 4-3 on a 3 game winning streak. Jet fans can’t help but imagine where this team would be with Rodgers. Everyone keeps saying Zach Wilson is playing better, and I guess there's some truth to that, but the Jets are still a bottom 5 offense no matter how you slice it. Three of the next four Jets games are nationally televised so I hope you guys are excited for more Zach.
17. | | Buccaneers | -2 | 3-4 | The new nickname for Todd Bowles should be Nilmot. The man is a reverse Tomlin. While the Steelers' coach finds a way to keep a winning record even with the shittiest squads, Mr. Nilmot finds a way to have a losing record even with solid players. After finishing 8-9 with Tom Brady as his QB, Nilmot's squad managed to be utterly outclassed against the Bills to drop below .500 in a game that was definitely not as close as the score indicates. This was Nilmot's 53rd loss as a head coach in his career against 35 wins. By the time the Tampa Bay Buccaneers play their next game, they would've had a streak of 35 days without a win. Congrats on the one month win-sobriety chip!
18. | | Texans | -2 | 3-4 | There’s no sugar coating it, that was a bad game. While all the attention has been paid to the rookies on the field, there’s also a rookie Head Coach and Offensive Coordinator. Bobby Slowick will probably be under the microscope a bit this week as he had no answers for what the Carolina defense was throwing at him and it showed with an ineffective run game (that’s becoming worryingly common) and passing plays that rarely were able to get a receiver open. If there was a bright spot, the defense was able to combine for 6 total sacks on Bryce Young.
19. | | Rams | -5 | 3-5 | Pain. There have been a lot of would/coulda/shoulda's during this season, but when you have a young and inexperienced squad with little depth, it makes little mistakes, injuries, and disadvantages more difficult to overcome. There have been flashes of potential—which has increased expectations—but 2023 will not be the year they are capitalized upon.
20. | | Falcons | -3 | 4-4 | Most important takeaway from Sunday's game is Grady Jarrett tearing his ACL, the organization has already traded Philadelphia for a replacement. The dropoff without Grady was noticeable and drastic, and the best case for this defensive unit is significant growing pains. Injuries never hit at the "right" time, but this defense needs to be firing on all cylinders to prop up whatever weekly issues pop up with the offense. What will happen next week against Minnesota? Bijan's targets/carries under 10 total on the day? An under utilization of various other high investment skill positions? With Arthur Smith everything is probable until proven otherwise.
21. | | Vikings | -1 | 4-4 | It is fitting for Kirk Cousins' season to end all too early on an Achilles tear — As once Achilles chose to go down in a blaze of glory, so falls Cousins at his peak; as once Achilles, in his rage, slew so many Trojans that the very river cried out as corpses choked its streams, so Cousins left opposing backfields in carnage. We come to bury Cousins. Yet, in a greater sense, it is not Cousins whom we bury, but ourselves. For in our mourning we, the living, continue our inexorable death march towards senescence, while Cousins, though fallen, achieves an apotheosis into legend. And so we bury our dead, our grandparents, parents, siblings, and – ineluctably – ourselves; and yet the sun keeps rising and setting madly on. Are the heavens deaf and dumb to our cries, going through their motions as the inanimate reflex of our dead gods? Or do they hear us, and their carrying on is their response for us to go and do likewise? Only the dead, whose legends carved themselves into our constellations – like Achilles, like Cousins – know.
22. | | Titans | +3 | 3-4 | The Titans game against the Falcons saw the first career start for the rookie out of Kentucky, Will Levis. Donning the beautiful Oiler throwback uniforms, Levis put on a show joining Fran Tarkenton and Marcus Mariota as the third QB to put up four touchdowns in his rookie debut. With a short week, Levis will likely start in Pittsburgh on Thursday and will have the opportunity to show more dynamic throws down the field and expand his game with more intermediate passing.
23. | | Colts | -1 | 3-5 | Welp. Tony Brown had one of the worst games you'll ever see from an NFL cornerback, and Indy gave up at least 37 points for a third straight game (all losses). The Colts are the only team to score 20+ points in every game this season, yet they have the worst point differential in their division and are two games under .500 after starting 3-2. Losing Anthony Richardson was a major blow, yes, but this Indy defense is now taking the Colts out of more games than it's keeping them in. Gardner Minshew's carelessness with the football (9 turnovers in 3 games) certainly isn't helping, but he's also not the one giving up 153 yards and a TD on three catches to… *checks notes*… Rashid Shaheed. A top-10 pick is not out of the question at this point.
24. | | Commanders | -- | 3-5 | Is the spirit of a football franchise like a ghost, imprinted on a place, a concept even? It's the strangest phenomenon that basically not a single person from 2016 is left involved with this team, but the team looks unchanged, unaltered. 2011, same. 2006, same. It's enough to loosen my grip on reality and makes me start to wonder if the program that injected the procedurally generated memories into my brain lazily repeated the same cycle of events with just enough change that could reasonably convince me I'm having a unique experience; but I'm left with that uncanny pit in my gut telling me something about this is wrong. Like I'm looking at a family photograph but I can't definitively tell you the person in it that looks like me, is actually me. 2023 is another season where a few players look individually good, but the team just can't get it together. Whether it's some key roster failures, or awful coaching, or terrible luck, this team just looks like the Ghosts of Washington past: Perennial lingerers toward the mid-bottom of the league who occasionally let their NFL worthy roster steal a game, but most of the time just serve as the faceless, textureless enemies beaten by some other main characters in the plot.. is anything left of the legacy of this once dominant franchise? Swept by the Eagles, with 2 games still to come against the dominant Cowboys, the season is all but over for this team. If there are fans left who care enough to be bothered by it, the sting is surely worsened by having to watch division "rivals" look like world beaters for another year, while this team floats listlessly in mediocrity for decades at a time. In years past, I might have started to feel nervous that the Eagles or Cowboys might actually win the whole thing. At this point, my apathy expects nothing less and has long since accepted it. You'd think me sad or upset about this, but it's truly that I can't be bothered to care. Why should a Division 2 team be upset that Georgia won the championship; it's not like we were ever in contention for it. And this team is truly not in contention for anything meaningful this year. You'll note fans of the team are already buckling up their annual off-season armor of "well at least the QB looks good" or "hey we get to draft high" or "surely the owner will fire the coach"; These are echoes of the past reverberating in the present, nothing more. Funny how something as silly as a game where an inflated bag of skin is flung around to men in padding can reconnect you to the nihilistic feeling of meaninglessness. But at least Sam Howell looks good, we'll surely draft high, and the owner is sure to fire the coach..
25. | | Broncos | +5 | 3-5 | At about 4:30pm eastern on Sunday October 29th, I noticed that there was no game thread for the Chiefs game on r/taylorswift. Did this mean she wouldn't be at the game? The Broncos scored on their first possession. At 4:35, as a joke, I messaged my football friends group chat: "Taylor Swift isn't in Denver, so if we win I will listen to all her albums and write a review for each song." If she skipped the game and thereby granted us a win, I'd owe her this. The Broncos held the Chiefs to a field goal on their first possession. I was not concerned. At the beginning of the second quarter, our defense forced a turnover and Russell Wilson delivered a deep strike to Jerry Jeudy, who followed that up with a touchdown reception a couple plays later. I was not concerned. Halfway through the 4th quarter, our defense prevented Patrick Mahomes from scoring a touchdown on 4th and 2. "Uh oh." I texted my group chat. They asked me if I knew how many albums Taylor Swift had. I guessed five. I was wrong. With 5:39 remaining in the 4th quarter, Patrick Mahomes was sacked by his own lineman, ending their must-score drive to stay in the game. Some said the loss was due to Mahomes having the flu, but I knew it was because of her. Shortly after the game I made a post on r/taylorswift, explaining the monumental task at hand. By the end of the week, I needed to write a review of every Taylor Swift song. To make matters more difficult, I had no subscriptions to any music streaming platforms because I...don't listen to music. At all. Thanks to many fine and helpful Swifties, I've been set up with couple spreadsheets and guidance on how to tackle all 200+ songs written by this popular blond woman. All this week, it is my burden to honor those careless words I uttered in passing on that fateful Football Sunday. I don't write horror stories for losses, but some might say I'm living the worse outcome.
26. | | Packers | -3 | 2-5 | Congrats to Rashan Gary, the best player on the 2023 Packers, for signing a 4 year, 107 million dollar extension! Maybe by the end of the contract we'll have receivers that actually run the correct routes, a defensive coordinator that doesn't want to make me gouge my eyes out, and all those project picks we've made in the last two years or so blossom into quality players, just like you did! Anyways there was a game this week and the Packers did poorly. Get well soon Kirko!
27. | | Patriots | -1 | 2-6 | I planted three Hickory saplings in Autumn 2022, and I watched them carefully to see if they would wake up in the Spring 2023. Many of my other trees budded and produced leaves a month before the Hickories showed any signs of life, but after a long period absent of hope, a sudden spurt led to a productive summer of growth. It may seem like the local 53 will never wake from their slumber. After the sacrificial Bison feast, they seemed to shrivel away from the South Florida sun in a familiar pattern of anti-clutch execution. Have faith though, my friends. We’ve got them all right where we want them! Consult your almanac. The conditions ahead seem favorable for a surprise mid season growth spurt. It is clearly far from guaranteed. Sparks of stardom seem subject to voodoo curse of injury around here. This team may simply be the get-right game for other terrible teams, but the story is not yet written. A little momentum can go a long way at the right time of year. Get your eyes off the draft order. There will be plenty of time for that down the road. Look instead at the record of the current 6 and 7 seed in the AFC. I am nothing if not stalwart. Hickory trees along with Oaks are the apex species of Northeastern forest ecosystems, supporting extensive biodiversity of creatures big and small once they reach maturity.
28. | | Raiders | -1 | 3-5 | Bring back the overhead projector, Mark. Make your father proud.
29. | | Bears | -- | 2-6 | The Bears lost a road game where they were 10 point underdogs - okay, makes sense, let's move on. What is going on with this team? Is there a coherent long term plan for next season? Is there even a coherent plan for THIS season? GM Ryan Poles doesn't seem to want to extend talented (but sometimes injured) CB Jaylon Johnson, who is only 24, and has let him seek a trade - a decision that has many fans irate. But he also traded for DE Montez Sweat. Presumably an extension is imminent - so why won't Poles also invest in homegrown talent and reward a player who, frankly, has had no reason to play hard over the past two seasons? Either way, these moves seem to imply that Poles will be around for at least another year. To add to the fun, there are rumors swirling about Bears' coaches "throwing Fields under the bus" by discussing his obvious weaknesses with media members. And now Fields' has been already ruled out against the Saints after optimism about his recovery timeline last week. At least last season's bad news Bears were fun to watch. This is just mostly sad.
30. | | Giants | -2 | 2-6 | There is a special pain when the team you root for loses a game in which they had every opportunity to win. This loss falls on the coaching staff, for putting an injured kicker out there on 4th and 1 (twice) and for having a Plan B at QB that they had absolutely zero trust in to throw the ball. Why even have that player on the roster at all? Alas, another L for Big Blue and fans are already looking toward the draft; the trade of Leo to Seattle means NYG will have some extra draft capital come spring. Until then, though, the slog continues. Daniel Jones' return is sure to be a welcome one after the offensive product put on the field Sunday.
31. | | Cardinals | -- | 1-7 | You’re still here? It’s over. Go home. Go. There’s really not much of a point to watching unless you’re the most diehard fan. Or you really like Michael Wilson, Trey McBride, or Kyzir White and want to watch them develop. Like I said last week, Kyler might play this week. He might not. We know for sure Dobbs isn’t anymore. Last minute update We know for sure it ain't Dobbs now!!
32. | | Panthers | -- | 1-6 | IT HAS HAPPENED! The Carolina Panthers have gotten their first win of the season! The Thomas Brown era has begun and so far it is going well. Going into this game, it was inevitable that the Bryce Young vs CJ Stroud narratives would be all the rage. Since the Panthers won, you could say Bryce also won that battle but ultimately both QBs are going to be bright spots for the NFL and it was great to see. This was by far Bryce’s best game of the season. He showed poise, threw good balls, and was able to drive the team down the field for the game winning field goal made by Eddy Pinero. The Texans tried their hardest to disrupt the kick by going offsides not once, not twice, but three times. Ultimately it didn’t matter as Eddy had that ice in his veins on a hot Charlotte day. The Panthers still have some woes but they looked better offensively than they have all season. Chubba was a force again and it seems as if he’s the first option for now. Miles Sanders does not look 100% and his production is lacking. Our sole TD was Bryce to Tremble, which was shocking but no complaints over here. Like I said last week, we had nowhere to go but up and we did just that. The OL still needs to protect Bryce better. He was sacked six times. That needs to tighten up from virtually the same OL as last season. The offense still seems like there is more to unlock and if Bryce has a bit more time, maybe that would open things up a bit. Regardless I am not upset after that game. The Colts are coming to Bank of America next Sunday and this is another winnable game. If Brown can call a good offensive game and our injury riddled defense can get the stops they have continued to get, I feel good about our chances. Feels good to be 1-0 in our last one game. Keep Pounding.

Welcome to week 7 of the official r/NFL Power Rankings! Lions, Niners, Dolphins all tumbled, while the Patriots and Bears won convincingly. Any given Sunday is perspective to hold (until a ranker has misplaced your favorite team by a couple slots). Do the Broncos deserve post-game sushi for beating a meek Green Bay squad? Should the Lions fall for the perennially well-coached Ravens? Are Chicago and Cleveland better without their starters? Week 8 should throw more questions into the mix, until then - Discuss! 33/32 Reporting

1. | | Chiefs | +1 | 6-1 | 7 weeks into the season the Chiefs have a 3 game lead in the AFC West. They have a top 5 defense by every metric, the best player in team sports, and the best coach in the league. Kansas City remains the team to beat in the NFL.
2. | | Eagles | +3 | 6-1 | For the first time in what feels like forever, the Eagles beat a good offense. Defensive coordinator Sean Desai took away Tua’s first reads for long enough for the team’s strength, their pass rush, to collapse the pocket. Desai’s detractors might point to a 10-0(!) penalty discrepancy, Miami’s depleted iOL, and/or Waddle’s mid-game injury, but the Eagles were also banged up in the defensive backfield missing both starting safeties and their top 2 slot CBs. These injuries prompted Howie Roseman to call up Kevin Byard from their double-A affiliate, roughly a year and a half removed from bringing AJ Brown into the building. If he’s half the player he once was, Philadelphia’s defense should be a force through this upcoming murderer’s row of a schedule after Washington: Dallas, Kansas City, Buffalo, San Francisco, Dallas.
3. | | Ravens | +5 | 5-2 | Last week we said to expect the Ravens ready to play their best ball. It appears that was an understatement. By the time the Lions got their first first down of the game, they were down 28-0. It's only fitting that on the day that T-Sizzle was inducted into the Ravens' Ring of Honor we battered Goff with a litany of pressures and sacks to go with a spectacular outing from the ever-electric Lamar Jackson. It's incredible what a team can do when you get a couple weeks of continuity with your starting lineup. Standing alone atop the highly competitive AFCNorth standing consistency is going to be paramount. Up next is a trip out west to face the 1-6 Arizona Cardinals featuring the Passtronaut(or perhaps Kyler Murray's first game back?). We’ll see if the Ravens can avoid playing down to their level of competition, and if the “sleeping giant” is really awake.
4. | | 49ers | -3 | 5-2 | The 49ers played easily their worst game of the season so far. The defense was shredded through the air by a receiving corps missing Justin Jefferson. The offensive line was overwhelmed by blitzes the entire game, and Purdy's two late interceptions were the final nails in the coffin. The team returns home this week looking to right the ship against the Bengals.
5. | | Dolphins | -1 | 5-2 | While we certainly had a lot of major injuries to this team, and do have a major gripe with the penalties in our game against the Eagles, there were was a concerning trend regarding our team that showed its ugly head again on Sunday night and is worth talking about. For the past two seasons more often than not we've played our sloppiest, most unfocused football when facing great teams and/or during primetime. Penalties, receivers running wrong routes, bad snaps, not getting plays in on time, receivers dropping balls, you name it, we had it. Instead of showing our best play to our best opponents, we've often showed them our worst. Over the past two seasons we have now moved to 0-6 on the road against teams that won a playoff game last season.
6. | | Lions | -3 | 5-2 | Sunday was a spectacularly abysmal performance on every level save for Jack Fox. There are no excuses for it and it simply comes down to preparation and discipline in both practice and come game day. Encouraging, though, was the way Dan Campbell spoke about the Lions’ performance: “When you step back and you look at a number of performances that were very much subpar across the board, it’s not coincidence. And so that’s where, man, I did not do a good job of getting them ready. I did not, I did not. And it’d be one thing if there were just a couple of guys here or there, but ultimately, it was that I didn’t have them ready and I’ve got to do a much better job of getting them prepared, which I will this week.” Onto Vegas, where a dominant showing is needed if Detroit wants to remain looked at as an NFC title challenger and a top 5-10 football team in the NFL.
7. | | Jaguars | +2 | 5-2 | As you can see illustrated in the chart, the Jaguars are spending a little too much time trying to get cute with their offensive play calling. Combined with a bit too much sloppy it could cause problems in the future. Do note however, that the offense still completely got there, doing exactly what was needed. The defense continues to eat like they're stuck at an AYCE buffet; That hunger combined with a fortunate last second Saints drop was enough to extend the JAX win streak to 4 — their best start to a season in over 15 years. The Jaguars may be the worst 5-2 team you've ever heard of, but you have heard of them.
8. | | Cowboys | -1 | 4-2 | The Cowboys ranker was heavily medicated this weekend, and from what he can recall, so was the NFL. This weekend made approximately fuck-all for sense, to the point where Prime TIme Kirk knocked off the #1 team in the league. This was a smart week to have a bye, because who knows what could have happened.
9. | | Bills | -3 | 4-3 | People are hammering the Bills offense right now for its recent ineptitude —and rightfully so —but let me pose a question. What’s more embarrassing: scoring 25 against a thus-far bad defense coached by one of the greatest defensive minds ever, or letting fucking Mac Jones put 29 on you? Feels like the second one. I mean, the game is in hand if you can just stop MAC JONES. THAT’S ALL YOU NEED TO DO. STOP MAC FUCKING JONES. I mean Jesus, this guy hasn’t put up more than 20 all year. The fucking Raiders figured out how to hold him to 17. I understand we’re pretty banged up on that side of the ball, but come on.
10. | | Seahawks | -- | 4-2 | No DK, no problem. You're typically in for a real weird experience when those little red desert birds come to Seattle; losing 6-3 or winning 43-8 are both realistic scenarios. Thankfully, Seattle took care of business this week beating Arizona 20-10. The offense was a bit yucky, specifically Geno making some.... odd decisions. But Ken Walker looked great, and Seattle had 2 rookies (Jaxon Smith-Njigba & Jake Bobo) catch touchdowns. Bobo's touchdown was an absolutely sick catch that everybody should see.
11. | | Browns | -- | 4-2 | Darrell Baker Jr. was called for pass interference and then some stuff happened and then Browns won in Week 7.
12. | | Bengals | +2 | 3-3 | The Bengals are coming off of a bye week, so there is no excuse not to beat a suddenly cold and banged-up 49ers team coming off a short week.
13. | | Steelers | +6 | 4-2 | Sunday's victory is underscored by some lesser headlines. Jaylen Warren is proving to be not just explosive when he touches the ball, but indispensable in the passing game due to his prowess in protecting the QB. It's fair to say that the offensive blocking is still a work in progress, but if two defenders get a jailbreak towards Pickett, it's a good bet that Warren is going to intercept one of them. The line itself was very up and down, but showed promise. Cautious optimism is in order. Notably, we also got to see what Pickett has been trying to do all year, which is stand in the pocket and take time to let things develop and go through his progression. Earlier, he's had no time to throw, but still wanted to do that and it didn't work out. As the season progressed, it became clear that he needed to get rid of the ball quickly. He did that, but it's not a formula for success. Not every play can be a quick throw. In LA, he was not just getting the route and receiver he liked, but he was ripping the ball and really pushing it downfield. There's reason for hope there. The same is true for Joey Porter Jr, who is making progress in a trial by fire. Things are getting interesting in the defensive backfield in that Kazee, Porter, and Wallace have all shown potential. There's potentially 5 guys back there who can play, along with PP and Minkah who had a hell of a team effort performance and was virtually everywhere the whole day. Sketchy calls aside/acknowledged, the point is that this team might finally be putting it together.
14. | | Rams | -1 | 3-4 | The inability to play four quarters of consistent football is this season’s theme as youth and self-inflicted wounds let yet another very winnable game slip away in the second half. Margin for error is thin, and issues like losing your ability to challenge and setting up short fields for a bad offense from an INT and missed kicks (that also left 7 points on the board) is going to change a win into a loss. The Rams can compete with anyone but can't hang with them for a whole game.
15. | | Buccaneers | -3 | 3-3 | The problem with the NFL is that it's unbalanced. There are divisions where there's one clear favorite above the other three teams in the division. There are some divisions where two teams are head and shoulders above the other teams. There are divisions where three teams are fighting for the first spot. There are even divisions where all 4 teams are average and all four teams are fighting to win the division till the last game of the season. Then there's fifty feet of crap, and then there's the NFC South.
16. | | Texans | -- | 3-3 | It’s the bye week for the Texans which meant that all of Houston was able to focus on the Astros this weekend needing only one win at home, so let’s check in there and….Oh….Oh no….Never mind about that. Most Texans fans spent Sunday watching the Colts and Browns beat up on each other and trying to justify rooting for one of them. Were the standings or the draft pick more important? Either way, you were definitely going to feel dirty. Next up for the Texans though is a trip to Carolina and I’m sure you can guess what storyline we’re going to be hearing about all week leading up to the game. Will CJ Stroud finally get to play that game of HORSE that Josh McCown promised him?
17. | | Jets | -- | 3-3 | The Jets get to "visit" one of the worst teams in the NFL in the New York Giants. The Jets pass rush should be able to give fits to the Giants offense, but Zach Wilson is still a huge question mark on the other side of the ball. If the Jets have any chance to make some noise this season, they'll take care of business against the Gmen and get back above .500.
18. | | Falcons | +2 | 4-3 | Falcons are used to losing games they shouldn't, but Sunday was the rare win despite missing opportunity after opportunity. The defense truly kept the Falcons afloat in a game where they were only kinda missing their top running back, good thing Cordarelle was waiting in the wings to average over 5 YPC. Ridder had a touchdown turned touchback, and London also fumbled within the 1 yard line that the Bucanneers would scoop up on the next play. Despite 3 takeaways, Ridder's slight improvement might be enough to stave rabid fans off for one more week, and if this keeps up in 9 years he'll be beating the 49ers on MNF. Atlanta takes on a Baird-less Titans squad in week 8, another perfect day for the current NFC South leader to take the babiest of steps.
19. | | Vikings | +7 | 3-4 | The Vikings have had some bad breaks, between Jefferson on IR and the worst luck in the NFL, but their Monday night victory over the 49ers proves the team has the talent to go toe-to-toe with anyone: Darrisaw, O'Neill and the Vikings' offensive line pitched a complete shutout against an elite defensive line; Addison proved he can be a WR1 in JJ's absence; Hockenson came up huge moving the chains over-and-over; Hunter continues to lead the NFL in sacks; and Kirk Cousins lit up arguably the best defense in the league to the tune of 378 yards and two TDs.
20. | | Chargers | -5 | 2-4 | Sunday's lost once again begs the question of Brandon Staley "What exactly do you do?". The KC offense got a get-right game posting 31 points and Travis Kelce had 143 yards at half time. This was mixed in with some highly questionable game management including 4th and short punts, and opting to go to halftime with all 3 timeouts. Again, Herbert hasn't looked himself, but that's far from the only issue on this team.
21. | | Saints | -3 | 3-4 | This week's episode of MTV Celebrity Deathmatch features Derek Carr vs Chris Olave. Who you got?
22. | | Colts | -1 | 3-4 | "Well you know why there's a chance that it was called? I think an investigation — OK? — into that particular ref… not only that ref, let's not just check that name. We need aunties, we need moms, we need sisters, we need girlfriends, we need husbands. He had to have something on that game! I don't wanna be a guy proclaiming that these refs are rigging games, but I don't know how you call those back to back, to secure one team to definitely have a win. … That seems a little… little fishy." – Pat McAfee speaking for Colts fans everywhere yesterday
23. | | Commanders | -- | 3-4 | “f—ing tired of this s—. I’m f—ing tired of this bulls—. It’s been seven f—ing years of the same shit. I’m tired of this s—.” - Jonathan Allen/Washington fans this week. The Giants had 5 sacks coming into Week 7. They doubled that total to 10... by halftime. The Giants had the fewest 20+ yard plays in the NFL at 15. They had 3 of them.. in a single drive.. with their backup QB. There are major issues in Washington. Coach Rivera is in his 4th year here, and the same problems frustratingly continue to plague this team. At it's best these last 4 years, this team has looked marginally above average. At it's worst, this team can readily compete for the number 32 spot. A team that at both times looks completely unready to play and yet unwilling to shift off of its predetermined gameplan indicates a problem with the coaching staff. At 3-4 with some of the best teams in the league ahead on the schedule, optimism isn't on the menu. 10 games left including the Eagles, Cowboys (twice), Dolphins, Jets, Niners, Rams, Giants, Patriots and Seahawks; this team is likely headed for a 6-11 record at best and a draft spot just outside the top talent. New ownership is surely preparing to clean house and a true rebuild is forthcoming. I'm tired of this s---
24. | | Packers | -2 | 2-4 | It is an absolute disgrace that the Packers continually sleepwalk through the first half of every single game. Green Bay averages 13 more points in the second half than they do in the first half. It's an indictment of the coaching staff that the team continually enters games unprepared and can't figure out what to do until the third quarter, and it's especially irksome coming out of a bye week and having an extra 7 days to prepare. Lafleur's scripting was excellent last year but the play-calling this year has been flaccid beyond explanation. We can blame it on Love all we want but he can clearly lead touchdown drives in the second half! Why can't we do it the whole game?
25. | | Titans | -- | 2-4 | The bye week turn a fast turn from the question of which young QB may start in week 8 against the Falcons when the Titans traded All-Pro safety Kevin Beard to the Eagles on Monday. This move was not entirely unexpected but shows signs that the Titans may be on the verge of a real turnover in the roster that made a few playoff runs over the last 5 years. With the trade deadline after the next game it will be very interesting to see if this week’s result changes the Titans plans moving forward.
26. | | Patriots | +3 | 2-5 | The largest living tree on earth is an Aspen. It has 47,000 trunks all connected by a common root. The Patriot Way is a phrase often used to discuss Belichickian culture, but clear definition is strangely elusive to talking heads. The holy scripture of the football gods is short and sweet if you hear Billy B preach. The many come before the one. He pleads it. He demands it. He lives it. He breathes it. Though each September we forget, his devotion echoes true year after year when the wind carries the first chill warnings that winter is coming. Winter is not for the Buffalo Bills, They are from frosty climes, but cast a foolish spell naming themselves doubly after the game of sustenance. Warm the herd may be, but in the end prey warms the bellies of the predator. Winter is for those who know that when the bleakness comes, it is time to form close ranks. We meet the eyes of our brethren, and fight on for each other even when glory seems a distant faded vision. Grim determination survives one day more to keep the dream alive. Lone heroes die of exposure. As one of many, there is hope. To be part of a shared fate blurs the lines of self altogether. The aspen of 47,000 heads is known as Pando.
27. | | Giants | +1 | 2-5 | No matter how bad things get, and no matter how inept the Giants look, I will always be thankful for the Commanders for making them look competent twice a year. The Giants' offense showed its best signs of life in the first half, as Tyrod connected on several deep passes (6 different receivers caught passes of 20+ yards). Darren Waller had his best game as a Giant, and the defense absolutely shut down the Washington offense for the vast majority of the game. The only points given up were on a muffed punt that put Washington in the redzone. The second-half offense was lackluster, to put it nicely, and the unit will have to find a way to play four quarters of good football ahead of a tough matchup for bragging rights in the Meadowlands bowl.
28. | | Raiders | -4 | 3-4 | Fire Josh McDaniels
29. | | Bears | +1 | 2-5 | The Chicago Bears broke international law on Sunday by deploying Bagent Orange all over the Las Vegas Raiders en route to a 30-12 shellacking in the Backup Bowl. Bagent should be the story of the week - an UDFA from D2 making & winning his first NFL start is an incredible achievement no matter the context. The kid was composed, confident, energetic, and rose to the moment. But here's the context anyway: Bagent played calm, efficient football and got the ball where it needed to go quickly. Paired with a powerful run game, that allowed the Bears to build a big lead and sic the defense on former Bears great Brian Hoyer. It will be an incredible week for Chicago sports radio as even in just 24 hours we've heard such gems as "more than 50% of Bears fans want Bagent to be the starter" (it's a very scientific poll) and "Matt Eberflus is actually a great defensive coach and when the Bears bring in a new coach they should keep him as DC" (...okay). After stacking wins against Slippery Rock, the Indiana (Pa) Hawks, and the Raiders, Bagent will face a tougher(?) test next week against the Chargers in a thrilling primetime matchup of 2 win teams (you're welcome, America). If the Bears win, tune in to Chicago radio on Monday.
30. | | Broncos | +1 | 2-5 | As a nostalgic and emotional person, it's not uncommon for me to wake up feeling sad. My dreams are very detailed, and the places I frequently dream about feel like accurate representations of places I've been. The places aren't remarkable: the interior of my first high school, my college campus, various childhood homes and neighborhoods, offices I've worked in. Time moves slowly in my dreams. Even a quick nap can feel like hours spent reluctantly touring these old places, waiting to eventually wake up and leave them. I've moved a lot - over 30 times across 10 states - so my memories of locations are tied to the time period when I was there. The last time the Broncos were good, I was living south of Denver. It was my third time returning to Colorado and I rented a booth at a local sports bar to watch Super Bowl 50 with my wife and a friend. Obviously football is a big part of my adult life, and I'm self-aware enough to know that the slump my team has experienced lately is nothing compared to what some other fanbases have dealt with, so I'm experiencing it with that same demeanor of a reluctant tourist. I wonder if I'll visit the room where I'm writing these blurbs in a far-off future dream, spend what feels like a long afternoon wandering the space, and wake up feeling a little sad.
31. | | Cardinals | -4 | 1-6 | Haha, Tankathon go brr. We are now in the hour of the Murray. Maybe. He might play this week, he might not. Either way, we go up against a scary Raven defense and then an even scarier Browns defense. Could the Texans do their best Astros impression and lose? Please?
32. | | Panthers | -- | 0-6 | Week 7 yielded a much-needed bye week for the Panthers. If I had to give it a win or a loss, I would give it a tie. Terrace Marshall Jr has requested permission to seek a trade. Probably because Reich quite literally forgot he was on the team in the Week 6 stomping via the Miami Dolphins. Bad for a squad lacking WR strength/depth. He is still welcome on the team but he’s had one good week in this 2ish years here and then requested a trade. Smart guy honestly. Stay or go, it’s all love. Week 8 Thomas Brown is calling the plays. That is very exciting as the offense has been looking absolutely disgusting. No consistency whatsoever. Brown has nowhere to go but up. It’s the hope that keeps Queen City buzzin right now. 0-6 with no draft picks.. what else do we got? I’d equivalate that to a tie. Some bad and some good. Coming out of the bye we are 0-0-1. Texans are a winnable game truly and we need to take advantage if there is any hope left to be had. Keep Pounding.