I work in American healthcare. Your doctor is actually one of the worst people to ask about coverage.
Unfortunately, the only solid way to be 100% sure of coverage is to call your insurance company and make them guarantee your planned procedures in writing. Every doctors office has a department to deal with insurance—after you talk to the insurance company you will want to talk to the insurance department at the doctors office and give them the written statement from the insurance company.
After your procedures, your bill will be processed by a medical coder at the doctors office, and a clearing house coder who gets things ready for your insurance company, before it potentially gets double checked again by coders who actually work for the insurance company. Those people will not have any clue about the arrangement made prior to your procedure, and this is the series of steps where something might happen that would cause your insurance company to not pay.
If you did your due diligence and got everything in writing beforehand, then the insurance company will kick the bill back to the doctor, at which point it will be reviewed by a payment specialist who will be able to see and use the written commitment to force the insurance company to process the bill.
This whole process takes anywhere from weeks to months, so you may not know there is a problem until a while after your appointment.
Welcome to American healthcare. Good luck getting whatever you can.
I’m going to attempt to answer your question for real. I have never had to cremate a person, but I have cremated pets before. One time I think I may have gotten a symbolic collection of ashes, and the other time I was pretty sure I got my exact cat. The difference was visible in their system.
The first time I did not ask many questions, and I ended up with a bag of ashes that had a sticky note with my name on it. It would have been very easy for the wrong bag to be placed with my name, or for the notes to fall off and get mixed up. It was clear that accuracy was secondary to creating a chance for closure. They were very nice and professional, it was just clear that they had not felt it necessary to have an iron clad ash delivery system.
The second time I needed to cremate a pet, I asked a lot more questions, and all were answered without any surprise. Considering the type of business it is, it is always ok to ask a lot of questions about the process.
They put a tracking barcode on my deceased kitty as well as on the body bag he was placed in. When I picked up the ashes days later, the same barcodes were on the tightly sealed bag as well as on the carrying bag, plus they had his collar and a pawprint memorial in the bag too. They could have given me random ashes still, but the care that they clearly put into their system gave me a strong feeling that they had held up their end of the bargain.
The sad truth is that there is probably no way to be 100% sure, and it is likely normal for some ashes to get left behind while others may be unintentionally scooped in. The best you can do is make sure that you ask all the questions you need to (don’t let anxiety shut you up), and try to pick a place that will treat your loved one with dignity.