buran

I haven't felt great since a few years ago. I had ups and downs, but I have always maintained myself functional enough to not worry my family and friends.

Likewise, I have always been very pro-psychology, and it has greatly helped me with my problems. I never had proper appointments with an actual therapy plan until this year. Most of it was talking and venting at the student wellbeing office in my university and going to sessions in another university doctor's office.

At the start of the year, I had my first appointment for actual therapy in the long run, and my therapist diagnosed me with a mixed diagnosis of anxiety and depression. Even though I was greatly glad to know what was on my mind, I started to worry about how much I would rely on the health system.

I went twice or thrice with her, but all sessions have been question after question, and I don't feel I can do much right now. She hasn't asked me to do anything right now, and her schedule is full, and our next appointment was supposed to be around two weeks ago. And my fears about not being able to keep this in the long run are worrying me.

And I couldn't vent or talk to the wellbeing office either because she has been incredibly busy, and she's the only person qualified in the institution to do that. I have tried to talk to her, but everything is rushed and talked about super quickly.

Currently I don't have any suicidal ideations, nor have I ever had them, but it's increasingly more difficult to keep going as things are.

Thanks to everyone who read my ramblings up to this point; feel free to comment; I'll read you.