drhoopoe

You can do all kinds of stuff with the config file. See here.

Holy shit, how did I make it this far in life without knowing about this add-on?

Believe me I've tried.

My kid's always asking my ex, "Mom, why don't you just get Jellyfin? It has, like, everything."

Lol, a lot, but not that many. Mostly docker shit filling up /var from containers I'd tried running or run for a while and got bored of. Just needed a good docker prune -a --volumes.

Thanks, but I'm an idiot. I dug around a little and realized I was low on disk space and running a badly outdated version. All good now.

Do some searches on "kiosk" software. That's the general term of art for machines that are intended to run a single program/interface. As for distros, you'll want something light and easy to maintain, ideally with automatic updates. Debian's an obvious pick. Alpine could be great for something like this. Gentoo could be awesome too, but there's a serious learning curve involved.

Did it currently have windows installed? If so, have you turned off secure boot and fastboot?

If you've done all that already, then maybe try adding nomodeset to the kernel parameters in grub. You can find instructions by searching how to set kernel parameters. It's fairly easy, but kind of a pain to explain.

Broken clock and all that

I wouldn’t mind there being a whole community devoted to pointing out shit that is poorly designed or just broken

But isn't that every linux forum?

Yep, I've got a stack of 5-10 year old optiplexes (optiplexi?) running proxmox.

I assume they're referring to her being an outspoken socialist as an adult.