I've been using Matrix/Element for around three years. I have there my family, a couple of friends and a couple of services that use it for alert, information. I host a non-federated server on a VPS in Germany. My approach has been simple: do you want to chat with me? Use Matrix. Otherwise, call me or send me emails.
If privacy is important for you, then make it a priority.
I read that and I do need vacation now. This reading stressed me too much.
I've settled on Ubuntu in 2008, but jumped between Gnome, KDE, Unity and LXDE. Then I got a Steam Deck last year and it became my main machine, so now I am not only with its Arch based OS, but I a secondary Arch SD card that I occasionally boot, if I need something not immediately available in SteamOS.
Servers? Debian Since 2019.
In my case this is good news as I used to play with my daughter which is using it on an Android tablet. And it's always good to keep an eye on her as I play her games with her!