I’ll second PurelyMail. Easy to set up and they have explainers for all the various settings. I pay $10 a year for “unlimited” domains and mailboxes (some caveats but for minimal mail we won’t hit any limits).
wraith
With regards to app management the Unix way is the way. You'll have individual tools that you can spin up or take down at will. When something needs maintenance, or it crashes, all your other services will stay running.
As to an attack surface, that can be mitigated by using a VPN if you need access from outside your network. Then you're back to an individual tool doing one job really well (and probably being audited for that by outside parties).
Databases are a slightly different challenge but you can still think of them in a similar way regarding service availability. If all your services use a single instance then when that instance goes down for maintenance or backups all of your services will be offline.
Similarly there can be issues with compatibility between the service and the specific database (and/or version) which could necessitate a dedicated database for a certain service. But if each service (or possibly similar related services) use dedicated database instances then maintenance of that stack is simplified.
I'm of the mind that with the flexibility of containerized software stacks there's no real reason to have a single monolithic database anymore, certainly not for small, self-hosted, applications that are not under heavy use.
For iOS I think the only "automatic" option is Immich.
Nextcloud with the Memories app will be similar but I believe you have to remember to open the app when you get back on Wi-Fi.
Frigate can run in its own container and provide its own web GUI. You get extras if you integrate it with Home Assistant but if you think those aren’t worth spinning up an instance, then you don’t have to.
Blue Iris is another good option if you don’t mind Windows (blah I know but at least it’s still self hosted and fully under your control).
That is a cool option I hadn’t thought of trying.
But they can pull different quality profiles based on your list preferences right? I don’t see why you need one instance for downloading 4k and one for 1080p.
I believe these are “remux” when searching. I don’t think anyone posts an ISO but the remux contains the entire contents of the original disc but in a friendlier format for playback on more diverse hardware (mkv containers for instance instead of the bdmv container).
Can you elaborate on why you’d need two instances of radarr/sonarr running at once?
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If you can get IKEA where you are the INSPELNING line has Zigbee smart plugs with energy monitoring for only like $12. I believe they have a UK variant as well.