As someone else said, selfhosting is the only real way to overcome this problem. When it's all on your hardware it matters a lot less if the messaged at are decrypted server side or not. Everyone has a different threat level and at some point you have to put trust in some companies but if beeper makes you uncomfortable then buy a cheap second hand mini pc and learn to self host the service.
zerodawn
I'm never a fan of virtualizing network related items for the sake of redundancy, if your server goes down the rest of your network can keep doing it's thing. That being said, with the hardware you have on your hands i don't see any solid atonemen argument for bringing in more hardware.
Proxmox is a great base for you to really ramp things up and i'd recommend looking into pfsense as a routing/firewall solution. There's a bunch of great youtube videos that can talk you through setting it up and using it as your vpn point, adblocking, reverse proxy, and so much more.
I'm no expert but my understanding is all drinking cans are lined with plastic to withstand erosion.
https://www.ehow.com/facts_7390219_metal-cans-lined-plastic-coating_.html
Everyones process is a little different but that sounds unnecessarily complicated. See my other comment about the arrs through docker. You could probably do it all in a single compose file.
It gets even more automated/complex when you add in something like overseerr which pairs up with sonarr and radarr to read your library and allows your users to search for a title and request it if it's not in your library. With the click of an approve button the automation will have their desired title on plex in a matter of minutes.
Headscale is a self hosted version of tailscale, if you'd like to keep it as an option
The arrs would be your best bet to reduce your input. If i'm not mistaken you can run them all through docker including a version of qbittorrentb that's bound to a vpn and the only way it access the internet is through that vpn. Or you could split tunnel your vpn and bind your qbittorrent to it and bipass your jellyfin instance.
So in your case the vm is HAOS and Frigate is running inside that?
That would be one hell of a project
If i remember correct the vm i'm running lemmy on has less than 300gigs of storage and i've used less than half of that with running lemmy for a couple of months with a hand full of users. I can't speak to the bandwidth aspect but i'd imagine self hosting lemmy would almost be better suited for low bandwidth so it can pull down the posts over time and hold them locally for you when you're ready, but thats just a guess.
This looks like a great fit for my use case, i'll dig into this more, thank you.
That goes hand in hand with a level of trust with some companies/people and everyone has different threat tolerances. It also highlights the mindset that you have no idea what the person on the other end of the message is doing with it. End to end encryption helps keep in line eavesdropping down but if the recipient of the message has a compromised device or are screenshoting everything and posting it on facebook it's out of your control.