And Finally...

A Texas man has legally changed his name to Literally Anybody Else and announced he is running for US president in the 2024 election.

Formerly known as Dustin Ebey, the 35-year-old is a US army veteran and seventh-grade math teacher in the suburbs of Dallas, and now has a Texas driver’s license to prove his name change.

He said he wanted to change his name because he was unsatisfied with this year’s presidential candidates, Joe Biden and Donald Trump.

“Three hundred million people can do better,” he said in reference to the two frontrunners for the nation’s highest office. “There really should be some outlet for people like me who are just so fed up with this constant power grab between the two parties that just has no benefit to the common person.

While arguing against a proposal for safe storage requirements for firearms, Minnesota state Sen. Warren Limmer (R-Maple Grove) contended that rural citizens need guns readily available to deal with cows.

“You even walk too close to a cow, and it’ll take you down and trample you into dust,” Limmer said. “Fumbling around with a lock while a cow or a bull or any other animal is going after your daughter or your son — you can’t fumble around with a key or try and find the lockbox or put your thumb on a biometric key of some sort in your home while the danger is outside. This bill puts those individuals in even more danger.”

cross-posted from: https://real.lemmy.fan/post/1938213

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/13543662

WASCO, Calif. (KBAK) — A man has been arrested after being suspected of taking the leg of a pedestrian who was struck by an Amtrak train in California and eating it.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/18068891

Possible intoxication and a shot of irony came together Thursday night when a suspected drunk motorist crashed into a “Report Impaired Drivers” sign in View Royal and was arrested soon after.

West Shore RCMP say they discovered the downed sign after responding about 9:55 p.m. to a report of a Dodge Ram pickup involved in an incident near Craigflower and Admirals roads.

A witness told police the truck was travelling at a high speed when it went up onto the sidewalk and struck the sign.

The driver had already taken off by the time a traffic officer arrived, but escape was unlikely since the debris left behind included one of the truck’s licence plates.

Archive: https://archive.ph/1aMJb

Not, as I read, "Swan and Paedo"

A 270-million-year-old fossil that sheds light on the murky origins of amphibians has been named after Kermit - the world's most famous frog.

Is Crazy Frog okay?

An error by a shop on the Orkney island of Sanday has left it with 720 Easter eggs in the store – far more than its entire population.

Sinclair General Stores needed to order 80 eggs, but instead accidentally ordered 80 cases of nine, giving it a total of 720 for the 500-strong population.

The shop’s owner Dan Dafydd described his initial “embarrassment and shame” when he realised how many eggs had arrived.

“The rest of the staff were chuckling and finding it very entertaining,” he added.

In the spirit of Willy Wonka, he is now running a competition to let one person win 100 of the spare eggs – all in aid of charity.

He said: “I don’t think conventional means is going to get rid of them.

...

In a statement, the RNLI thanked the shop for the efforts to raise money for the organisation.

It said: “We’re eggstremely grateful to Dan Ap Dafydd at Sinclair General Stores in Sanday for this incredibly generous gesture after a rather unfortunate delivery of 720 chocolate eggs! Thank you.”

A bendy Australian bandit performed an elaborate yoga routine in the parking lot of a bakery she then burglarized moments later.

The limber criminal did her yoga routine and was caught stretching by the bakery’s surveillance camera just before she broke into the pastry shop at around 3 a.m. on March 3rd, swiping some croissants, according to Phillippa's Bakery's Instagram post on Monday.

“We were quite surprised when we saw the security footage from a recent break in at our Bakery HQ. Seems like yoga is a must before breaking in,” Phillippa’s Bakery shared in a caption of the video. A few things were stolen including some croissants which were clearly too tempting for this flexible burglar.”

An incredibly rare sight at the best of times, a full radial rainbow is known as a 'Glory', and one keen photographer was lucky enough to snap a picture of one at Wiltshire's famous landmark.

Nick Bull, also known as Stonehenge Dronescapes, took this incredible photo and shared it in the Salisbury Journal Camera Club on Facebook.

Farmers in Australia were left "stoked" when they noticed that among the blueberries they picked, there was one as big as a golf ball and weighing significantly more than average.

The giant blueberry, which is 39.31mm wide and weighs 20.4 grams - much more than the average of between 1 gram and 3.5 grams - was picked at a farm in Corindi, New South Wales, in November last year. On Tuesday, Guinness World Records publicly declared it the biggest blueberry in the world - a title previously held by a 16.2 grams berry with a diameter of 36.33mm grown in Western Australia.

Mushrooms in place of tampons, a frozen pizza substituted for tinned peaches, and cream crackers instead of Christmas crackers. These are among the “bizarre” supermarket substitutions reported by online shoppers in a new poll.

Just over a third of online grocery shoppers (34%) reported having received a substitution in their most recent grocery delivery, the survey for consumer group Which? found.

Asda was the worst offender with more than half (56%) of customers receiving a replacement product in their last order. When asked about the strangest substitution of the past year, one of its shoppers recounted their bemusement at having ordered washing powder only to unpack 10 cans of beer.

So throwing this open to the floor: have you had an silly substitutions?

Pranksters claiming to be a Kensington Palace employee fired over the Kate Middleton edited photograph fiasco say they duped former Fox News host Tucker Carlson into interviewing them for his streaming show.

In a video posted on X that has already received more than a million views, Josh Pieters and Archie Manners explained how they concocted a story about being released by the Prince and Princess of Wales for “not doing a good enough job” in manipulating a photograph of Middleton and her children that has stoked an international furore and endless conspiracy theories.

The “disgruntled former employee” act was apparently convincing enough to fool production staff at the Tucker Carlson Network (TCN), who invited Manners, posing as the royal couple’s former digital content creator, to a London studio and an interview with the rightwing personality.

“That was great, and really interesting too. I didn’t expect to be as interested in it as I was because you told a really great story,” Carlson tells Manners after listening to a made-up tale about how the infamous photograph was actually taken by Middleton’s uncle in December, and that a Christmas tree in the background had to be edited out.

The pranksters, whose YouTube channel Josh & Archie showcases a series of celebrity hoaxes, told Deadline they “stroked Carlson’s ego” by offering their story as an exclusive because “mainstream media in the UK wouldn’t touch it”.

They convinced TCN researchers of their authenticity by creating a fake contract of employment that featured the words Every Little Helps, the motto of the British supermarket chain Tesco, in Latin on a Kensington Palace crest, and a clause in which the royals reserved the right to “amputate one limb of their choosing” if Manners failed a probationary period.

The Josh and Archie video about this.

A nifty knitter put all her eggs in one basket to combine her love of Easter with cartoon characters The Simpsons.

Going by the moniker The Secret Yarn Bomber, her latest crafty creation is on show on top of a post box in Waterside in Ely.

The Cambridgeshire crochet fan has made a montage featuring Bart and Lisa Simpson with Easter eggs and a rather startled-looking chicken.

World Simpsons Day is celebrated on 19 April by fans of the TV cartoon series.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/13237634

A woman who 'married, divorced and was then stalked by a ghost' has become a paranormal investigator - and says she has his blessing. Brocarde, 40, claims she met "devilishly handsome" Victorian soldier Edwardo when the ghoul "burst" into her bedroom on a stormy night.

They later married - but a year after she called quits on the relationship and accused the spirit of cheating on her. She says she was later forced to call in an exorcist to make sure Edwardo was gone for good.

Singer-songwriter Brocarde, from Oxfordshire, has now become a paranormal investigator - and says she has her ghost ex-husband's blessing. She has probed the paranormal world and says she has already experienced an alcoholic devil and rope burns.

Last year, Researchers from America's Carnegie Mellon University and the Chinese University of Hong Kong created a remarkable new piece of material.

This wasn't just any type of material though, as this new discovery can mimic the powers of the T-1000.

To those people: no one said you couldn't, we said you shouldn't.

...

Researchers did assure the world that their robot mini was never tasked with the murder of John Connor, so that's nice.

Senior author Professor Carmel Majidi explained the science behind the shape shifting robot, revealing that magnetic particles come into play in two ways to facilitate the liquidation.

"One is that they make the material responsive to an alternating magnetic field, so you can, through induction, heat up the material and cause the phase change." she said, as per Matter.

"But the magnetic particles also give the robots mobility and the ability to move in response to the magnetic field.

MEXICO CITY (AP) — Those walking through the milling streets of downtown Mexico City on Friday were greeted with a strange and sleepy sight.

Lolling with bright blue yoga mats, sleeping masks and travel pillows, hundreds of Mexicans laid sprawled out on the ground at the base of the city’s iconic Monument to the Revolution to take a nap. Dubbed the “mass siesta,” the event was in commemoration of World Sleep Day.

It was also meant to be a protest to push for sleep to be considered an essential part of health and wellness.

cross-posted from: https://kbin.social/m/news@lemmy.world/t/895673

DNA My Dog received human genetic sample and identified it as a malamute, shar-pei and labrador, according to news station

cross-posted from: https://real.lemmy.fan/post/1583913

Mmmm...forbidden worms....

A York schoolboy had a quirky approach to World Book Day - he dressed up as page 86 of the Argos catalogue.

Rowan Sanderson, nine, a pupil at Osbaldwick Primary School in York, adorned himself with a toaster, a kettle and a pair of hair straighteners, and declared that he was off to school dressed up as a page from the Argos catalogue.

...

Rowan's mum Kerry Sanderson said: "He's such a character! Everyone knows who Rowan is.

A perv robot made by Saudi Arabia got a bit too fresh with a female reporter on live television when it was unveiled to the public.

The robot, called Android Muhammad, was at its first show in Riyadh on Monday when it slapped the woman's bottom without any warning at all. A clip from the mad event shows the reporter, Rawiya Al-Qasimi, chatting away when the robot, standing next to her, reaches out and touches her bum. Rawiya wasn't happy and told the robot off with her hand. No reason why it happened has been given, but it is thought that the robot was possibly partially controlled by a person as well as by artificial intelligence

Archive (original link, Daily Star)

Messages in a bottle written by three Fife schoolchildren 40 years ago have washed up on a beach in Angus.

Jenny Smith was taking part in a beach clean-up in Monifieth when she found three notes and a map from the Wormit Primary School pupils from 1984.

She managed to track down the three girls, who are now in their late 40s, on a local Facebook group.

The messages will be returned to the school four decades after they set sail on their six-mile journey.

Police who stopped a black BMW X5 towing a suspected stolen caravan along the M1 have admitted to being stunned by the identity of the driver: an 11-year-old schoolboy.

A spokesperson for North Yorkshire police said officers were “staggered” by the incident, which took place on Thursday.