this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 60 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (4 children)

Weird shit you did as a kid go:

I got y'all beat. (No pun intended)

Too scared to look up porn. Thinking I'd be caught. Ended up knocking over peasants in one of the early assassins creed games and rubbing my pants furiously when their underwear would show.

[–] titter@lemmy.world 0 points 2 hours ago

Freud voice now tell us about, the peasant . . . A.K.A. your mother...?

Dr Ruth voice The Penis.... ......

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 67 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

What is it about the internet that made you feel like sharing this?

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 46 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 26 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

I used to wait until my mum would go shopping and then i would rub one out to the posters on the sex shop walls in GTA San Andreas

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 19 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

I used to get off on making sims pee themselves.

[–] Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world 9 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

You win...or lose. Whichever's worse.

[–] Magnum@infosec.pub 2 points 15 hours ago

What is wrong with you people? Like all of you?

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago

How many times have you been peed on in real life?

That's advanced.

[–] RogueBanana@piefed.zip 3 points 15 hours ago

And how old were you when you discovered that?

[–] Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world 11 points 18 hours ago

Same but Duke Nukem 3D. Those were desperate times.

[–] Master_Suck@lemmy.world 25 points 17 hours ago

Gaming related?

I let Banjo die and his sister be transformed so I could goon to sexy Gruntilda.

I set the CPU to Idle in Dead or Alive practice mode so I could knock over the female fighters and see their breasts heaving on the ground.

I finished to a car rocking back and forth in GTA 3.

Non-gaming?

No way in hell. Those die with me.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 6 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

When i was a wee little crusty teenager i was in detention and my phone got taken away but thankfully i had an old samsung which had like android 2 originally installed with some goofy ass rom that ported 7 onto it which was im pretty sure the newest at that point and i used it to wank. It had like a 2 inch screen but all i needed is something suggesting that there was something slightly suggestive on the screen. If i hadnt done this i would have probably burst with cum or something cause i was one crusty ass teenager.

[–] ParadoxSeahorse@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

i was in detention

Your detention was not at all like our detention. Was it not supervised? Or public? Or in a group? Were you shut in a cupboard? Was this really detention or