this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 2 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Same

Plus if I sit, I'm gonna fart. If I fart a little poop might join it, and if I start pooping I'm gonna be there a while. I've been a lifelong poop marker victim

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago (2 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

Scissors and an orifice cap are better friends

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 1 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Honestly, I've had a varied diet throughout my life. From mostly cheese, potatoes, and meat; to a balanced diet with whole grains, lots of leafy greens, very little animal products, and plenty of water. While the quality of my poops will improve with fiber, the speed will not. I've tried cleanses, an enema, squatty potty. I always wind up needing to sit for several minutes for things to work themselves out. It's been that way since at least my teenage years. If I start wiping prematurely, poop marker

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Have you tried a stool to elevate your legs and put you closer to a squat? It really helps the movement down there. I know that poop marker thing you're talking about but i don't get it everytime, just on rare occasions.

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

Yep, the ol squatty potty. I love me a low toilet. Those ADA tall boys are for the birds. I just have a rebellious colon. I call him Fred