We used to have several more people. Right now it’s 3 players and a DM. The DM is my cousin, and our rule right now is if one person can’t make it, the whole thing is called off. They really don’t want to just have 2 players, which I can understand.
This has been the only group I’ve ever played DnD with, but I’m not enjoying it at all. Part of it is the DM’s style, and part of it is another player.
I feel like I can’t do anything as a paladin without being yanked away from it. My first few sessions literally any time I tried to cast something, this other player told me I really shouldn’t. They’re so terrified I’m going to run out of spell slots. I never have.
At a certain point I just started doing nothing but regular attacking. That’s it. Just sessions on end of attacking as a paladin and nothing else without any complaints. I’m bored out of my mind.
I’m still a new player and I’m just trying to enjoy the game. But Any time I try to cast something, I’m being told not to, or given like a 5 minute thesis on how ” actually Bless isn’t as useful as this other thing, but hey if you WANT to use bless I don’t GUESS it would hurt…”
Also the DMs themes just don’t relate to me at all. The best way I can describe the game is like some mix of analog horror, SCP, and the backrooms. We never ever just meet some bandit or goblin. It’s always some unexplainable entity that the DM must use esoteric language to describe. It’ll be some object or being that is cognitively distressing to witness yet impossible to comprehend. And I’m having to roleplay a reaction to it?
Not to mention the crunchiness of the campaign is just wearisome to me. Our last campaign we spent an hour and a half just going over inventory, crafting, quest progress, and stats. All above the table; never in character.
It’s just such a boring campaign to me with a player that’s about to make me rip my hair out. But it’s also my cousin’s game, and I’m fairly certain it will have to disband - at least for a long while - if I leave.
If you're not enjoying your time, something is wrong. Leaving might be excessive; especially since it seems like a very established party. talk with them first. maybe talk with the DM privately and give them feed back. "I feel we're getting too bogged down in the metagame" Is very valid. As is, "i find it's hard to roleplay when everything is 'Unimaginably indescribable' and also I would like to have more generic trashmobs to smash. I feel like everything is a boss and it's kinda rough."
as a side note, something I've learned as a DM, is that even if everyone wants hard combat all the time, there needs to be less-hard moments. having every monster be a BBEG or whatever is counter productive- when everyone is a BBEG, no one is a BBEG- they're just an 'EG'. (also... the random encounters with goblins and such like; they consume your action economy, making the BBEG fights harder without having to worry too much about powercreep.)
Another option is to handle the metagaming outside the session itself- it can be a bit more work on the DM's part, but touching bases before lets you work out all those questions without breaking table flow. (you can create a discord channel and just have it be your party, for example. I put out a 'so here's where we were' kinda thing a day or two before so everyone can look it over and catch mistakes; a long with the transcript of the game.
As for the other player, a polite, "you can play your character" seems in order. They play their character. you play yours. they don't get to tell you how to play yours any more than you get to tell him how to play his. Even if it's true that Bless is less beneficial at higher levels, it doesn't really matter. Besides, spell slots and actions are meant to be used. if you have any left over at a long rest (or short rest if they recharge on short rest) then you're wasting your spell slots.
As always, communicate. Preferably before it's a problem. "Hey DM, I really enjoyed but was kinda meh, and I'd like more cats/dogs/WeirdDemonicFamiliars to pet would be cool. Oh, and I really enjoyed . that was tense" is a conversation that needs to happen much more. As a DM, it's hard to put engaging sessions together when the most feedback you get is "that was fun" in the most unenthusiastic voice you have. (it's actually kind of soul crushing...)
Just remember to make the feedback constructive, not a "this sucks!"