Autism

If anyone said "autism means you can feel free to be a dipshit" then I missed it, and wouldn't agree. The point is that if your personal temperature preference is different enough, you'll probably get stigmatized for that, too.

The irony here is in the common stereotype that autists can't cope with shit. In reality autists can be pretty fucking excellent at coping with shit (they have a lot of practice at it), and just not get that much credit for trying.

In reality, a lot of the shit you're asked to cope with boils down to "don't be like you are", which, aside from anything else, isn't very human rights-y. At a more personal level, you will effectively be held accountable for neurotypical people's feefees, while people in general have absolutely no compunction about ignoring, stigmatizing, and pathologizing yours. The people who think your social and emotional skills are dogshit by default will not hesitate for an instant about leaving you all the work they're supposed to be much better suited for.

A very small minority of people in minorities just might overindulge in what accommodation they feel should be owed them sometimes. It's still massively more common for genuine problems to get unfairly stigmatized, ignored, and belittled.

I'm not even sure which position you're trying to argue with your comment? Are you saying that masking/trying to raw-dog autistic traits is equivalent to 'just dealing with it' when the temperature is a little uncomfortable? Because that's not at all empathetic or tolerant. For someone with extreme sensory issues or hyper-stimulation brought on by loud noises or eye contact or social anxiety because you literally do not understand the unwritten rules for interaction that most people take for granted, it's absolutely not the same level of discomfort as having to put on a sweater because the restaurant is a little too cold, and that's super reductive. Autistic people also don't own you shit and should definitely not be required to interact with you in anyway, let alone to your standards. Our society does have the ability to accomodate or avoid alot of interactions but if you are in a situation where an autistic individual is forced to interact with you for whatever reason, expecting them to just suck it up because "we all have to deal with some stuff" is pretty fucked.

If that's not what you're trying to say then you need to organize your thoughts better because it's not at all clear if you're saying the autistic person should suck it up, or if you're saying the NT person should just live with someone not making eye contact. It also does absolutely have to do with position on the spectrum. Yes two autistic people may react completely differently to the same level of discomfort to specific stimuli, just like two people with differing pain tolerances may react differently to the same amount of pain, but there is definitely also a level of intensity involved, not just differing levels of tolerance. Like those people with hyperalgesia. To them a paper cut may be agony, you can't just tell them 'oh it's just a paper cut, I've had one and it's fine' when they're literally experiencing the equivalent pain response to you getting your flesh melted off. That's nothing to do with mental fortitude or tolerance to discomfort, their body is physically having an extremely heightened reaction that they can't just 'get over'.