this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2023
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Autism

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Hey autistic peeps. I'm not really in a great space mentally right now, and figured I'd ask if anyone knows of any good coping mechanisms or tricks or whatever.

Anyway, some background. I'm one of those perpetually online types with no real irl hobbies. As you probably are aware (because Lemmy), there's been a lot of disruption in the online space recently. There's also been a fair amount of disruption in my personal life which I shan't go into. Kinda tempted to make a post here or /c/mentalhealth detailing my woefull history, but I'm not sure if there's interest.

Anyway, the main thing is that since May, I've been struggling with anxiety, and been kind of letting it rot, get worse and pull in other things. It's at the point now where it feels a bit overwhelming and it's actively getting in the way of my thought patterns, which is as scary as it sounds.

Through talking to people (including friends who I really appreciate taking the time to put up with me) about it, I've been able to drill it down to two main "fears":

  • I'm scared of trying new things or enjoying familiar things in case they get taken away from me in the future.
  • I'm vey uncomfortable with the idea of being restricted from things because of who I am or what I believe in.

They struck me as being, for want of a better term, "autismy" thoughts, and get the feeling my nt friends dont "get" it. Just wondering if either of these statements resonate with anyone, or if anyone has advice on combatting them.

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[โ€“] savvywolf@pawb.social 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Just wanted to say thanks for typing all of this out, sorry I didn't post a response earlier. I've been distracted with stuff.

how much time and money am I gonna sink into this obsessively only to completely lose interest in an indeterminate amount of time?

I actually get this too! I've just learned to accept that that's how I think. I'm a software developer, and one of the memes for us is the constant starting of new projects only to abandon them quickly. I guess I try to enjoy things while obsessing, and not feel bad when I lose interest.

Anyway, I've not had a chance to look into Stoicism yet, but something about what you said stuck out to me. Specifically, about accepting what you do and don't control. I've been trying (to various degrees of success) to... Well, say to myself "Look, I can't change this, what do I want my reaction to it to be?" and gently try to guide myself towards it (rather than... Scattering my thoughts all around trying to fix the problem).

[โ€“] NoTagBacks@lemm.ee 1 points 9 months ago

Hey, sorry for the late reply, but like... ya know, ADHD.

Sounds to me like you already practice some Stoic principles and that's fucking fantastic! I think you might also benefit from the writings of Epictetus, specifically in his Discourses. He talks about the Dichotomy of Control, which I think is something that would be beneficial to you to study. It's certainly been a world of help for clarity of thought for me.