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I've been having a sort of "midlife crisis" and I don't know where to go from here. I don't know what I want in life. Would appreciate some perspective/advice. (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by dingus@lemmy.world to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world

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I'm in my early 30s, so not necessarily "mid-life", but I think what I have been experiencing can be described this way. I went through a lot this past year, and it has both left some large scars as well as healed some other aspects and caused new ways of thinking in others. I've tried new things and enjoyed the things that I've tried.

But I feel like I need something "more", but I have no idea what that is. I keep getting caught on the horrifying realization of life being fleeting and I want to do something to make it more whole. But I can't outrun death so I don't know that anything is left to be done. But I feel like I need something to fill that space. I may in fact be chasing something that doesn't exist idk.

I guess I just feel a bit lost and would appreciate some direction.

More about me that may or may not influence your advice: I've always been a loner and the sort of "terminally online" type. I don't experience sexual attraction, so it sort of puts most options of relationships out the window. Asexual "dating" is not as prevalent or simple as you'd think. My career is very solid and I'm paid very well, so I'm not interested in switching careers. My career was a huge source of my trauma this past year, but I have made a lot of progress since and it's really not something I can easily change. I have discovered new and healthier forms of self-expression and have done new things. I own where I live and would not be able to sell it for as much as I paid for it either, which is another reason I'd be against moving. I am physically close-ish to family and visit every couple of weeks.

Thanks all for listening.

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[–] droans@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

If this "yearning for more" feeling has been around for years, I think you need to consider taking a break from work. You need to get out there and explore. You need to find out what that "more" is.

You're doing the same thing day in and day out. How do you ever expect to figure out what "more" is unless you go looking for it?

It could be as simple as burnout or the need to see the world. It could be a new career you never even thought about. Maybe you'll just discover you like walking through forests. Maybe you find a new city to live in that's better. Maybe nothing really needs to change or maybe everything does.

If that's not something you can and want to do, you'll at least want to do some soul-searching. Does it feel like there's a hole in your life? Start journaling. Talk to a therapist. If you can figure out the shape of the hole, you may figure out how to fill it.