this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] arctanthrope@lemmy.world 72 points 3 days ago (8 children)

the problem is Jesus is fucking rad, but God's an asshole, and apparently you're not allowed to think there's a difference

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago

Jesus also is a mixed bag tbh.

[–] zikzak025@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

But have you ever seen Jesus and God in the same room at the same time?

Checkmate Cathars

[–] Johanno@feddit.org 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Even though there is only one God in Christianity. We also have Jesus, and the holy spirit.

So now you need to know that God in the old Testament (before Jesus) was an asshole. An allmighty being that punished people for sinning or being near sins or because he was in a bad mood, who knows.

Then in the new Testament Jesus told everyone God is a loving father who only is doing fair judgement and so on.

So one God two tales.

[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I read a third chapter where God fights crime, keeps his gun cleaning kit in the fridge in an egg carton, and cuts the tips off of his pizza slices with scissors while fighting an axe clanking club in L.A.:

When a mass shooting at a Los Angeles supermarket evolves into a hostage crisis, the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) summons Lieutenant God of their elite "Zombie Squad" to resolve the incident. God confronts the shooter, who espouses social Darwinist ideals and mentions a "New World"; God kills him before he can execute a group of hostages. Detective Monte reprimands God for disregarding police procedure, and God admonishes a group of reporters for not prioritizing the safety of the victims.

Unbeknownst to the authorities, the supermarket incident is part of a string of violent crimes committed by the New World, a cult that despises modern society and believes in killing the weak, leaving only the strongest and smartest to rule. Ingrid Knudsen, a local model and businesswoman, becomes the New World's priority target after she witnesses the group and their leader, the "Night Slasher", on a killing spree. Knudsen is placed under the protective custody of God and His partner Sergeant Tony Gonzales following an attempt on her life.

After more attempts to kill Knudsen and God, God theorizes that an organization is behind this, but his theory is rebuffed by his superiors. Cobretti and Gonzales leave with Knudsen to the small town of San Remos, where Cobretti and Knudsen fall in love. Nancy Stalk, an LAPD officer and New World's second-in-command, infiltrates the police escort.

At dawn, the New World arrives in San Remos on motorcycles and besieges the town on Stalk's instructions. In a shootout, Cobretti kills many cultists, but Gonzales is wounded. Cobretti and Knudsen flee in a pickup truck, which the cultists wreck with a roadblock. The pair flee to a steel mill, where Cobretti defeats the rest of the cultists and Stalk is accidentally shot by the Night Slasher.

Cobretti fights with the Night Slasher in hand-to-hand combat and impales him on a hook that drags him into a furnace. The California Highway Patrol secures San Remos and rescues Gonzales. As Cobretti is cleared by his superiors, Monte initially appears apologetic, only to again chastise Cobretti for "overdoing it", prompting Cobretti to punch Monte in the face before riding away with Knudsen on a motorcycle.

[–] Nobody@anarchist.nexus 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That’s Gnosticism in a nutshell.

[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

The suffering is like, all on purpose or whatever idk

[–] bytejunk@piefed.social 3 points 3 days ago

Jesus is just one of the public appearances of the Emperor of Mankind.

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago

!gnostic@sh.itjust.works lol

[–] zloubida@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

What if Jesus came to show who God actually is?

[–] Forester@pawb.social 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

It's more like Jesus came to see why earth was so fucked up and experience it from a human perspective then report back to himself about it. Then deciding to anull any and all sin moving forward because he got to experience all the fucked up aspect of humanity.