this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2026
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Coffee

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I have an idea for a post, some may have seen a comment of mine earlier. I’m looking for the most offensive-to-coffee-snobs approach to making coffee possible. I’m assuming something to do with instant, but from there, I don’t have many ideas.

Someone suggested reconstituting it in milk, that seems fun, any other ideas? I’m fully expecting the end result to be absolutely disgusting, for what it’s worth. I’m looking for the worst abomination possible, but it still needs to technically be coffee. Get creative, have fun with this. Whichever technique gets chosen (or multiple get combined), I’ll credit in the post I make.

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[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Step A) Mix 1 Tbs of instant coffee for each 2oz of roasted beans. In an old crew sock.

Step B) Put the sock on the counter.

Step C) Hit the sock repeatedly with a cast iron skillet for about 5 minutes.

Step D) put the sock with coffee still inside inside a 40 oz stanley tumbler.

Step E) drive around until you find someone having a baby at home.

Step F) wait to see if the baby lives. If so they won't need the pot of water they bolied to make dead baby soup. Congratulate them and take thier water while it is still steaming.

Step G) pour the water into your Stanley and decant your fresh coffee. Should be ready in 5 minutes. Remove the sock, squeeze out any coffee juices into Stanley.

Step H) enjoy?

Definitely got creative