this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2026
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Autism
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I generally follow the rules unless I have a reason not to. The rationale is that just because I don't see the reason for the rule doesn't mean there isn't one. If everyone ignored every rule they didn't understand the need for the world would be even more of a shit show.
So I stop at the stop sign when no one is around. I know I would only do it when it was safe, but so does everyone who got hit by a car running a stop sign at a blind corner in the middle of the night.
I'm definitely asking about it if it's the least bit inconvenient though.
Most of the time most rules are really arbitrary, actually.
Especially regarding table etiquette, or things as social etiquette. Why should I sit in a way or another at the table while eating or use spoons, knives, and forks in one way or another, even if those aren't the most comfortable ways for me, just because that's the rule? Why should I look people always to the eyes? That won't make communication better or easier, and just will be hurtful to me (literally, I can suffer from headaches, nausea, cold sweat, stomach aches, and other symptoms of severe social anxiety).
The problem with acritical rule following is that it will make you more prone to do bad things if a rule tells you to do so, just because "that's what the rules say".
Alright, but I didn't say not to uncritically follow rules. I said I follow rules unless I have a reason not to.
From what you said it sounds like you have a reason.
I was also pretty clearly talking about rules of greater consequence than table manners or conversational etiquette. I don't typically put things like traffic law in the same category of table etiquette.
It's a pretty big stretch to go from "I don't put my feet on the table at dinner" to "the rules required me to do bad things and I did it because those are the rules".
Finally, there's a reason for most rules of etiquette and manners, you just don't know what they are or care. That's fine in the end, I don't typically follow all rules of etiquette either because I'm lazy. If someone invites me to their fancy dinner though then I'll put a napkin on my lap, keep my elbows off the table and eat with the right fork at the right time. Not because it's the rules but because I want the persons fancy dinner to be as nice as they hoped. I'll follow a rule of etiquette because I care about someone else.
But I never said or implied that anyone should follow rules without thinking.