NFL

Caleb, Caleb, Caleb.

Let's talk. Does Chicago have a history of bad quarterbacks? Yes, we do. I'm sorry about that. But let me talk you into joining the Chicago Bears football team.

1. The Bears aren't the worst team in football. That's ordinarily where you'd go as the #1 pick. But we have the pick from a trade. So already, you're playing with house money. We're probably only the fourth worst team in the league.

2. Why are we so bad? Two reasons. First, our quarterback is bad. No surprise there. If you're drafted, that QB will be gone. Second, our coaching staff is bad. We expect them to be gone soon, too.

3. So what are you left with? Well, we've got a #1 WR. We've got a high quality TE. Our running back room is probably a little bit above average. And after a lot of tinkering, our offensive line is improving, too.

4. And if you saw the game this week, you know we have a defense on the upswing. That's so much better than your defense at USC, which can't stop the marching band.

So look, Caleb, you're a victim of your own success. The team that drafts you won't be good. But out of all the bad options, we're the best. Come on down!