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Nextcloud is the right answer
Any tips for speeding it up? Loading can be painfully slow at times. I was reading that it may be the database (I use MariaDB which in theory shouldn't limit it with 32gb RAM and an R7 1700x).
Is MariaDB on spinning disk or ssd?
I initially set up Nextcloud with MariaDB on spinning disk but it was slow even completely empty. I moved that container to ssd & performance was a lot better. The web UI may still have some slow loading parts but I can't say for sure since rarely use it. Caldav+carddav+Nextcloud client are how I usually interact with it.
NVME only. I suspect caching just isn't enabled based on previous comment. If it's not by default then I didn't change it.
Implement redis. Like shown here: ( you can ignore most stuff there) https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one/blob/main/manual-install/latest.yml
What are you using for your reverse proxy? Make sure you have caching
I reverse proxy over tailscale to a VPS because I have double NAT... The connection to the VPS is direct with wireguard at least, no relay node. Adds ~30ms latency. But even when I connect direct locally it's not substantially faster.
I'll check my config.php for caching. I don't recall adding anything for it so if it's not on by default then that's a likely reason. Thanks!
Yeah for my instance I remember I had to do a few performance optimizations. Also make sure you are up to date because nextcloud has gotten performance upgrades.