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The US was forcing/enforcing its own image on a sovereign nation who didn't need or want that ... just like they had so many times before. And it failed spectacularly like it had before.
Maybe next time they'll ask what help the people want and provide that instead ... but if Biden's demands on the Palestinian Authority are any indication, America hasn't learned anything from its failures.
It wasn't like the Taliban were asking for help in 2001.
I referenced 'the people' not 'the leadership'.
But you're going to have to go through the government if the help is against the wishes of it.
Why?
There are always other ways to get the required info, like asking the tribal leaders what help they and their people wanted and/or needed.
I get the impression there was nothing the US government could have done that would have satisfied you.