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I am exactly the same as you. I've stopped caring, neither me nor my friends have kids thankfully. But yeah the sound of kids crying or screaming or throwing a tantrum instantly hits a nerve in my head
Agreed. But, it is supposed to. We are wired for it.
[Facetious content warning: cheesy "as a parent" talk] Having a kid completely changed how the wires hit your empathy-center. The fact something you love inexplicably more than anything makes that sound, is looking at you for relief, and then you provide it (sometimes), it changes you. And other people's babies don't really bother you anymore. It fires up a different nerve center.
When I hear parents apologize to strangers about their baby and they get the response "it's ok, I'm a parent, too.", I take it as shorthand that they mean "our brains have been rewired too. We get it. So if your baby cries, we'll just frown with our bottom lip way down. We don't know why. There is no control anymore. The wires, they're all fucked up. Oh god why? Will I ever be normal again?". Then they catch themselves, and hide that instant of self-awareness by cooing at the baby. Tale as old as time.
Edit: Getting a few downvotes. Nbd. But I want to stress that this is not a top-level comment, and therefore should in no way be interpreted as an answer to OP's question. In no way do I advocate having kids to fix any kind of problem, especially one of the type OP is asking about. I will sing the praises of vasectomies from personal experience.