this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
36 points (97.4% liked)

Autism

6831 readers
12 users here now

A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.

We have created our own instance! Visit Autism Place the following community for more info.

Community:

Values

  • Acceptance
  • Openness
  • Understanding
  • Equality
  • Reciprocity
  • Mutuality
  • Love

Rules

  1. No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
  2. Posts must be related to autism, off-topic discussions happen in the matrix chat.
  3. Your posts must include a text body. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be descriptive.
  4. Do not request donations.
  5. Be respectful in discussions.
  6. Do not post misinformation.
  7. Mark NSFW content accordingly.
  8. Do not promote Autism Speaks.
  9. General Lemmy World rules.

Encouraged

  1. Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
  2. Funny memes.
  3. Respectful venting.
  4. Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
  5. Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
  6. Questions regarding autism.
  7. Questions on confusing situations.
  8. Seeking and sharing support.
  9. Engagement in our community's values.
  10. Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
  11. Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it. Chat Room
  • We have a chat room! Want to engage in dialogue? Come join us at the community's Matrix Chat.

.

Helpful Resources

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world
36
difference between a statement and a complaint? (lemmy.world)
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by wellee@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
17 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

What is the difference between a complaint and a statement? If theres anyone with a better set of social skills here to help a dude out lol

Ie when you're chilling watching TV and somebody asks you to go out, but you respond with no thanks, I'm tired. Would stating you're tired be considered a complaint?

Just had a similar action with an NT friend, who says I complain about being tired a lot. When I look back and I never bring it up unprompted, and they comment on my mood so i tell them whats up.. is there some social thing which simply stating you feel negative is seen as a complaint?

Edit: thanks so much for all the comments! I should have been more specific, the examples I gave were not my actual experiences. In fact if I were to be more specific, it's my roommate that made me think about this, and they never want to go out lol. But I can still gain some insight from the comments! But it was much more generalized. Actual interaction: we are going about our day and my roommate casually asks "hey how are ya" and I respond "a bit tired!" And they remark on how I complain about being tired a lot. Which surprised me because I was answering their question, and not getting long winded into it. Then it dawned on me maybe simply stating I feel negative is seen as a complaint by people. Iunno.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 5 points 10 months ago

So I'm going to answer very literally because, well, look where we are: a complaint is simply a type of statement, and it's a necessary part of healthy communication.

If you say you're tired, and you mean it as something you wish weren't true, then that's a kind of complaint.

But also, I think our society has maligned the concept of a complaint and loaded it with baggage that it doesn't deserve. I think "stop complaining" is weaponised by people in power to prevent having to address people's needs, because "my needs aren't met" is a kind of complaint. It just also happens to be absolutely necessary to complain of something in order to fix the problem. This negative attitude towards complaint gets internalised by everyone to some degree.

So your friend might have some of these attitudes without understanding that they are problematic.

Also, you might be tired a lot, particularly of going out, because having to mask is a pretty big burden. If you can explain this to your friend and they can accept it, it might help you develop some kind of shorthand for the issue so you don't feel like you have to justify it in their terms from first principles every time. Maybe you can get some help from them, maybe they can find ways to reduce the burden, like maybe they can interact with cashiers for you, or something like that, or they can simply adjust their expectations of how much or how often you want to spend time out of the house.