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This line stuck out to me because of what I'm currently working through. I have no idea if we share this issue, so please take this with a grain of salt. Is it possible you struggle with people pleasing? If you perceive yourself to only have value when others are pleased with you, someone being displeased with you hits like a freight train. When someone gets mad at me on the road, even if it's not my fault, I can't stop thinking about it for MONTHS. It made me cry a lot as a boy. I don't think this accounts for all of what you're talking about, but it could be a piece of it.
i can relate to what you told.