this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2024
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[–] TruthAintEasy@kbin.social 45 points 2 years ago (5 children)

I can see how people raised in stable loving families think 'why shouldnt the parents know?' But I was raised by a raging narcissist, if dad slept bad a head-punch during breakfast was not uncommon. First memory I have is being hurt by my dad...

If I were trans this would have sealed my fate; killed via 'exorcism'

If the kid doesnt want their parents to know about their gender identity well that isnt a bad kid, those are bad parents. Yes really.

Believe you me, the good parents dont need the school to tell them, they already know because a child that feels safe will just tell you. If you really love them you will already know anyways just from paying attention to them.

I know people with mental diagnosis who support this shit. Try explaining to them that they are one the list of undesirables too, or dont if you value your time and sanity.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Exactly. I was disowned when I came out at 20. Telling my mom would’ve been bad because it would’ve denied me an important moment in our lives, and an opportunity for her to support me on our terms. Telling my then father would’ve just made him stop talking to me as a teenager.

Other kids face physical violence. It’s not uncommon for a trans person to be murdered by a parent.

This idea that parents have a right to know everything about their child will get kids killed. But kids aren’t people like parents are to many people

[–] TruthAintEasy@kbin.social 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Im sorry you had to deal with that. I flipped the script on them, support this crap and they are gone, dissowned, refered to as 'the biggot formerly know as <insert name>', I'll talk about them as though they are sub-human, see how they like it.

Some relatives arent invited to my wedding because although I dont like my sil's spouse on a personal level, they are trans, they are invited and they will be protected. I would rather spend time with someone decent who I dont get along with than someone biggoted who I used to get along with.

I hope you are in a good place in life now, stay strong. It will take time but conservatives always lose to the inevitable march of progress. They've been losing, and that is why they are so mad

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

That’s exactly it. You’re not going to like everyone of an oppressed group, but you can dislike every bigot.

And yeah, these days I’m happily married and surrounded by my people. My problems are shit like stress and work and a landlord who ignores problems too long. Utterly boring, exactly the kinds of problems my younger self dreamed of.

I hope you’re doing better too.

[–] AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"It's not uncommon for a trans person to be murdered by a parent..." could you share news stories about this? It would be helpful to have facts, but I've not seen any myself.

[–] koraro@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

So a quick search I just found this for actual murders. https://www.advocate.com/crime/2021/3/04/trans-and-nonbinary-siblings-shot-death-mother-charged But if you count suicide because of the parents then there's a lot more like these. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leelah_Alcorn

[–] AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world -1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Suicide isn't murder, however unfortunate it is.

So... one example?

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 years ago

Exactly. If the parents don't already know, there's a reason.

[–] Uranium3006@kbin.social 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's a pro child abuse tactic by right wing child abuse fans.

[–] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I tried to explain this shit to my own dad when telling him that I would rather the schools keep that kind of info to himself and he just kept pushing that I would change my mind when my daughter was born. Somehow, it was inconceivable to him that informing parents of this kind of thing puts children at risk of emotional and physical harm.

Guess what: I still believe the same now that my daughter is born because I know there are shit parents out there who would torture their children for not conforming. I'm going to do everything I can to instill the kind of trust my daughter needs to tell me if she's part of the LGBT community. And if she doesn't feel comfortable? Then I've failed.

[–] TruthAintEasy@kbin.social 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If my child is not comfortable telling me, then my job as a parent is to simply provide love and care untill they do feel comfortable, and if they never do for whatever reason (people are complicated and its not always mom and dads fault) then my job is to accept that fact and continue to provide love and care

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

As someone who took her time before telling a parent she knew would be supportive, you have the exact right attitude. Sometimes you’re afraid of your parent. Sometimes you’re afraid because it’s huge and telling a parent is huge and it will change the relationship and even if it’s only in positive ways that’s still a big thing.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 3 points 2 years ago

You know, I had my doubts about my parents ability as parents, but they always repeated I'd understand after I had my own. And they were right. After I had my kid I realized what a shit job they did parenting. They mostly meant well, but clearly not enough to read a book about it.

[–] AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I have a trans child, and they were terrified to tell me, but not because of anything I did. They ended up coming out to me multiple times because I didn't react the way they were told to expect.

They have plenty of trans friends whose lives would be much worse if their parents knew. I don't think any school has the right to reveal that kind of information before a kid is ready.

[–] TruthAintEasy@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago

Stay strong, all we have to do to win is refuse to give up or give in