Vancouver

1431 readers

1 users here now

Community for the city of Vancouver, BC

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

TruckBC@lemmy.ca

spoctoss@lemmy.ca

-13

Disagreaements (lemmy.ca)

submitted 8 months ago by uzi@lemmy.ca to c/vancouver@lemmy.ca

14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Why does it seem that people actively avoid expressing disaagreements on what somone says when they are out somewhere having a conversation? Why arwe people more concerned about trying to sound nice rather than being honest? It's not provactive or antagonizing to simply say "I can't agree with you on that, I disagree." I suspect that if someone articulates the reasoning behind their disagreement, a lot of people would not be bothered by it, unless someone wants everybody to believe the same things and are easily disturbed by contrary points of views.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] streetfestival@lemmy.ca 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

When I'm with people who are new to me I usually try to interact over things we have in common versus focus on things we don't have in common, because I tend to enjoy the experience more. IRL, the more I know someone the more likely I am to say "I disagree with you there." For people who are new to me, they have to say something that I think poses harm to themselves or others (e.g., hate speech) for me to say "you're wrong and here's why". Otherwise, I prefer to steer conversation to something I think we'll both enjoy. In my experience picking disagreements hasn't been fruitful avenue of socialization. I'm not sure most people are reasonable or even like others believing they should be. It's a good question though. I used to think I should strive for 100% honesty and candor, but now I think honesty and to a lesser degree candor are good things to aspire to, but other factors like respect can easily trump them in some situations

[–] uzi@lemmy.ca -4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I do agree that depending on the topic, if someone doesn't know the perspective you are coming from, then it's better to stay silent about it. I only share full honesty of my views with people who come specific cultures, so they would know the references and background when I say my full uncensored opinion.

I don't believe a disagreement even has to be explained. If while someone is talking, you say "I disagree" and the person can continue their point, you've expressed your disagreement, and they don't need to inquire further, simply leave it tht you disagree and that's that.

By original question is why it seems if tere is a simple expression of disagreement, people either end the conversation there and shut it down, or make up a reason to run away from the conversation as if they were harmed by someone saying "I don't think so, I can't go along with that."

[–] Knoxvomica@lemmy.ca 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Because when people have a conversation they try to share common experiences. There are ways to say "I disagree" that won't shut down the conversation. Just saying that leaves the other person no options to continue the conversation because you are shutting down their topic. A few folks here already gave great answers so I won't repeat the advice.

[–] kent_eh@lemmy.ca 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

There are ways to say "I disagree" that won't shut down the conversation.

True for the majority of topics.

Unfortunately, less so for things like politics and religion.

And especially when both are combined and have become a core part of that person's personal identity.

[–] Knoxvomica@lemmy.ca 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Ironically, folks who broach the topic on politics and religion are typically also having those things as a core part of their personality.

I think typically polite company dictates no religion, no politics no money talk. Been that way forever.

[–] kent_eh@lemmy.ca 1 points 7 months ago

typically polite company dictates no religion, no politics no money talk. Been that way forever.

Absolutely agree.

But unfortunately increasing numbers of people seem to feel the need to inject those topics (and their strong opinions on those topics) into otherwise normal conversation.