this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2024
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Autism

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This person is kind to me, therfore I now love them. (lemmy.ca)
submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by Seigest@lemmy.ca to c/autism@lemmy.world
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Sorry for another "Is this autism or normal human behavior?" Post.

There's a long story as to why I am experiencing this again but it's not really any more relevant then the title of this post.

For older folk it's like that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa, out of pity, give Ralf Wiggim a valentines day card and he immediately starts invisioning a future with her as his romantic parter.

I've identified I have this same trait and I hate it. Looking back I've totally made people who had been nothing but kind to me uncomfortable and shut me out because of this.

Now knowing that I am doing this is at least making me a little more in control and hopfully less weird. But now I need to stop and asses every interaction I have which is itself awkward.

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[โ€“] fl_sp@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

i think whether this behavior is unhealty or not would depend on severity of this "love"/obession.

[โ€“] Seigest@lemmy.ca 3 points 7 months ago

True in terms of healthy vs unhealthy. But I feel it's an uncomfortable experiance even when healthy.

I admit in my younger years (back in the 90s). I did the unhealthy thing. I think I've written about that on here. I had that obsessive behavure towards someone and embrassed myself terribly. Fortunately no harm was done towards others and I grew out of whatever that was. But that experiance was well beyond uncomfortable it was destructive.

However, now when this kinda thing happens (and it's rare that it does) I realize. it's often temporary. I can draw and boundaries for myself based on what the situation calls for. I'm better at gauging peoples comfort and not being pushy. I don't destroy friendships as I used too.

This discomfort is that feel vaunrable and cautious around those who are being nice to me. I'm not good at masking that one and it can be off-putting. Somtimes I need to distance myself from them which may be harmful to a new friendship.

Definitely a crappy emotion.