this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2024
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name
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If Vader is in a prison cell with a front door that lets him see the door controls, he chooses to be there, you didn't put him there.
Not necessarily.
Cut and pasted from an r/whowouldwin from years ago:
There is only one way for Kirk to win (unless it's Enterprise vs. Executor, but that's a different fight and one where Kirk will stomp), and he cannot do it alone. It goes like this:
Kirk: Darth. . . Vader is it? Tell me more of the power of the Sith? If the Federation is to be. . . subjugated. . . by this Galactic Empire you speak of, I would know more of the glory that being part of it will bring to my people and the. . . legacy of these Sith overlords!
Vader (pauses before striking the killing blow): . . . Yes. It IS fitting that you should know more of the power of the Sith. Many years ago. . .
minutes pass
. . . and that is why the Federation stands no chance against the Empi. . .
*A cheesy, tinny sound effect is heard and a warbley distortion field surrounds Vader for a second.
Vader: WHAT IS THIS TREACH. . . gah!
Vader collapses to the ground. Moments later both are beamed aboard the Enterprise. Two security red shirts take a paralyzed Vader prisoner while Spock and McCoy, looking smug, greet Kirk.
Spock: It is excellent to see you in good health, Captain.
Kirk: I did just as you said. Kept him talking. How were you able to do it?
Spock: As we learned from our sensor readings, the Sith ""force"" power is actually generated by a host of symbiotic microscopic organisms distributed throughout his blood stream. I was able to analyze the unique energy signature of these tiny creatures. But it was Doctor McCoy who speculated that an inverse chronoton bubble would have a disorienting effect on them.
McCoy: Like a phaser on stun, right in their tiny organelles. They won't be making any more trouble for a few hours at least, I reckon.
Scotty (from behind transporter control): Aye Captain, and then it were just a matter of firin' an electromagnetic pulse into his cybernetic suit. Now he's just a crippled man in powerless armor.
Kirk: A fitting punishment for such a. . . diabolical villain. This ""Galactic Empire"" will think twice before the next time they mess with a Federation star ship.