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need someone to bounce ideas off of. maybe /r/relationships material (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 2 years ago by sjh@sh.itjust.works to c/casualconversation@lemmy.world

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I took my girlfriend and friend out to dinner.

Friend says, "I love living with someone."

Turning to my girlfriend, she asks, "how do you feel?"

My girlfriend looks at me and then replies, "it's....fine."

What do you feel is an appropriate response?

I sat down with her later and tried to talk about it, but she said she was joking. I just don't get the joke.

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[–] Cris_Color@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

If you're really hurt by something the appropriate thing to do is to be vulnerable and sincerely express to your partner that their behavior hurt your feelings.

I think its very plausible that your partner didn't mean anything (unless you have some other reason to think they're unhappy, it was probably just an attempt at humor), but you're allowed to be hurt by something even if it wasn't intended to be hurtful. I'd reccomend reflecting on why it was hurtful to you (it seems like this is a big deal to you and its worth examining why that is under the surface), practicing some coping (go do something nice or practice self care) and have an honest conversation with your partner after you've examined whether this is caused by something you're dealing with or an insecurity, and put some energy into coping with the emotions (understanding yourself and taking care of yourself and your emotions are important to ensure its a helpful conversation. Deal with the emotions first, then talk)