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The convoluted techincal logicistics of why it's not gay and precisely when it does become so is silly. The answer is that yes, doing sexual acts with someone of the same sex/gender meets the common definition of being gay. But gay and straight are just words used to self identify. Humans are way dynamic than trying to cling to these arbitrary labels. Having a threesome has zero impact on you telling a potential partner that you are gay/straight because you're interested in them.
Labels are important and helpful, but we gotta remember they are just words that can't define the sum of a human not accurately catch the essential essence of any single person. So it's healthy to recognize their limitations, trying to precisely define what is and isn't gay just feels like cope so you can keep calling yourself straight. Just do it, this doesn't matter.
The real point here the people discussing this seem to be missing is that it doesn't matter what any of us consider to be gay. The members of Moms for Liberty would definitely not call this "normal" in terms of sexuality and would be against it if it were any other three people.
Well, that is is true. This sort of nuance, understanding and acceptance would absolutely be lost on someone so outwardly bigoted. Everyone, and especially MoL essentialism about what IS and isn't normal is just so sad and misguided.
For what it's worth, I agree with you that it isn't worth saying whether it's gay or not because it ultimately doesn't matter. It's not even worth debating on an academic level. Sexuality is a spectrum and this is just one part of the spectrum.
Im not concerned about "gay or not." I personally think you have to physically interact with someone to have sex with them, but honestly dont care if someone considers all threesomes gay. "Be gay, do threesomes" would be a fine credo for the world.
Im just making a pedantic comment in reply to a pedantic comment.