this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2024
198 points (98.5% liked)

News

23301 readers
3469 users here now

Welcome to the News community!

Rules:

1. Be civil


Attack the argument, not the person. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Good faith argumentation only. This includes accusing another user of being a bot or paid actor. Trolling is uncivil and is grounds for removal and/or a community ban. Do not respond to rule-breaking content; report it and move on.


2. All posts should contain a source (url) that is as reliable and unbiased as possible and must only contain one link.


Obvious right or left wing sources will be removed at the mods discretion. We have an actively updated blocklist, which you can see here: https://lemmy.world/post/2246130 if you feel like any website is missing, contact the mods. Supporting links can be added in comments or posted seperately but not to the post body.


3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.


Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.


4. Post titles should be the same as the article used as source.


Posts which titles don’t match the source won’t be removed, but the autoMod will notify you, and if your title misrepresents the original article, the post will be deleted. If the site changed their headline, the bot might still contact you, just ignore it, we won’t delete your post.


5. Only recent news is allowed.


Posts must be news from the most recent 30 days.


6. All posts must be news articles.


No opinion pieces, Listicles, editorials or celebrity gossip is allowed. All posts will be judged on a case-by-case basis.


7. No duplicate posts.


If a source you used was already posted by someone else, the autoMod will leave a message. Please remove your post if the autoMod is correct. If the post that matches your post is very old, we refer you to rule 5.


8. Misinformation is prohibited.


Misinformation / propaganda is strictly prohibited. Any comment or post containing or linking to misinformation will be removed. If you feel that your post has been removed in error, credible sources must be provided.


9. No link shorteners.


The auto mod will contact you if a link shortener is detected, please delete your post if they are right.


10. Don't copy entire article in your post body


For copyright reasons, you are not allowed to copy an entire article into your post body. This is an instance wide rule, that is strictly enforced in this community.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago (4 children)

The political differences in my relationship were that I believed only the two of us should fuck, where she believed she could fuck others because I did a lot of small things that annoyed her.

[–] another@discuss.online 11 points 3 months ago

Small things 🫠

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"You annoyed me the other day, so I went out and fucked three guys" is a weird excuse.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago (2 children)

As far as I know, it was one, but considering I caught her sexting him 4 years after I discovered her first affair?

Yeah I'm pretty sure she had multiple. I can't prove it, but I know she was lying for a long time after I moved back in during COVID. Discovered a message from her to a friend about her boss getting handsy, discovered pics I had not taken. She had bumble installed a month after moving back.

She repeatedly met with guys I didn't know that were her "friends" from work, who were muscly dudes. She got very angry when I would bring up feeling of jealousy. Looking back at it? The whole relationship was stupid and abusive.

Over share time, but I kind of just need to get it off my chest I guess: We met at 14, she was hot AF, liked all the good nerd stuff like comics and star wars. Did a lot of fun stuff alone together, but no sex until 17 or so? Anyway, about January after we started dating, she got very upset when I had to cancel plans to see her because my brother was in the hospital. Red Flag. She made me stop chatting and hanging out with a girl on my bus route because jealousy, Red Flag. She was super upset when she found out I had two friends that were girls at a summer theatre camp, Red Flag. She repeatedly asked me to avoid my brother, Red Flag. This was just year one. I guess eventually my brain said "ah, fuck it, she's hot and she likes you" while I slowly became dependent on her approval. She wanted to move in with me in college, but she would only do it if we got engaged, and gave her a child by 25. So I said sure, fine. Had to have a full time job, so I declared my major in something that paid well, not that I really cared for. Got a job locally because she couldn't move away from her mom. Had to have a better paying job for a kid. Bought a house so we could have a kid. But had to buy a bigger car so we could have a kid. Moved around in company. Had kid. She didn't like the house. She didn't like the car. She started drinking. The whole time she was in and out of work, never really making decisions. She starts a job she's really enthusiastic about, her boss is a scumbag, avoiding taxes, questionable accounting. She gets lots of attention from younger, fitter guys - I had gotten large because I was treated for a large variety of mental health conditions that it turns out I didn't really have (wonder why). We had an amazing summer before that, but then cheated on me that winter.

Feels good to read all that. I skipped a bunch, but dang. That really fucking sucked you know

[–] termain@programming.dev 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Much of that sounds all too familiar. It sucks, but it does get better. Have you run across Dr. Ramani on YouTube? She put a lot of what experienced with my ex in context.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Jesus Christ. No. But it's an eye opener.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm really sorry to hear that. It's even worse when kids get into the mix. I have a friend who was in a similar situation, and now the kid's horrible mom has disowned him because he's trans (he's better without her anyway). I hope you've been able to find someone to be happy with since then.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

No, but I'm in no rush. The divorce is taking forever, and I have a lot of learning about myself to do.

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I'm not sure why you've been downvoted for this, I thought it was funny and I hope it helped you cope with the horrors of being cheated on.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah it does. Helps me process some of the sadness and anger.

I thought it was pretty clever. Thank you :)

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

No worries homie. Yeah shits a big ol bummer. Advice you didn't ask for: Sort yourself before dating again, you don't wanna bring distrust to your future endeavors. Had to be single for 5 years after firebombing my relationship with insecurity.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I might not have asked for it, but I needed to read it. The insecurity that developed is devastating. I haven't attempted to date (dating apps just seem to be hookers any onlythots round here). I had a friend describe the process as trying to fill a goddess hole (impressive double entendre and play on God hole) and it really is.

I have a lot of learning about myself to do. One thing I found out is I really like golf. So I bought myself a driver to replace my 20 year old aluminum club and I am very excited to try that out.

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Hell yeah dude, stay busy, but not too busy to work on you, you deserve it the most.

[–] BigDaddySlim@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Damn, did we have the same ex-wife?

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

I mean maybe, she gets around I guess