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I think I can relate, somewhat. It's not easy, constantly being rational in the face of evil depravity. A just mind seeking a clean pattern of cause and effect can't be blamed when it starts asking "where is the sword of the innocent", and I personally get how that morphs to "Ok, will somebody give me the sword?".
I'm there myself today, on other news. Beware the thoughts, however. There's a difference between wanting to wield a sword to protect and one to punish; one is swift and necessary, the other opens the window to festering and becoming the abyss.
I wouldn't weep at a swift and ignominious end now, and I certainly would personally swing down that figurative blade and go to sleep soundly but never with the idea the monster could be made to comprehend if I taint myself to the same level of depravity, best remain a monster-lite. Because even that course of action I'd take is not without its own brand of reprehensible in the just world I'd rather live in.
Very poetic, and yes. You're right.
Edit: (I'm being serious btw, you write very well; I just don't know what else to say aside from what I've said to the other commenters).