this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2024
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Technology

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Researchers at the University of Southampton in the UK successfully stored the entirety of the human genome sequence onto an indestructible 5D optical memory crystal no bigger than a penny. The indestructibility claims are no joke since the discs can withstand temperatures up to 1,000°C, cosmic radiation, and even direct impact forces of 10 tons per cm2.

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[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

Plot twist: it destroys your child. Not physically, morally.

With these new indestructible powers, your child enslaves the entirety of mankind. Forced to adopt a bewildered child's point of view, humans spend all day with their families and friends, get ample sleep, share food and housing, laugh, cry, and find unbeatable protection just by being near those they love.

People love and lift each other to new heights of unshackled peace. Sciences and arts flourish and humanity enters unprecedented phases of discovery, health, and empathy.

But because your child is the villain of this story, all the politicians and capitalists declare war on your indestructible child. They all lose and die. The villain wins. Everyone celebrates.

The end.

[–] foofiepie@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

He would force everybody to be kind to animals and each other, eat raw vegetables, spend more time in the play park and participate in bushcraft activities. He would also ban chromebooks if his opinion of the school computers is anything to go by.

Yes I said raw vegetables. He’s a loveable anomaly.

[–] foofiepie@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

He would force everybody to be kind to animals and each other, eat raw vegetables, spend more time in the play park and participate in bushcraft activities. He would also ban chromebooks if his opinion of the school computers is anything to go by.

Yes I said raw vegetables. He’s a loveable anomaly.

Edit: almost forgot. We would have to spend slightly longer than is healthy, playing Minecraft.

How bizarre. When you edit a comment (in Voyager) it appears as a reply. Sorry for the spam.

Edit: I hereby pay tribute to thefartographer. One who may be good with maps, or the controlled capture of light, or perhaps merely their own miasma.

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

Edit it again! Put me in the comment!

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

He would also ban chromebooks if his opinion of the school computers is anything to go by.

He's got my vote lol